I tried to post on relationship advice but it got taken down for “posting too frequently”
My bf of 3 months is convinced he knows when I’m lying by a look I supposedly get in my eye when I “lie” but he’s questioning me when I say I love you now because of this “look”
I think it’s a load of bullshit
he asked me if I was alright with something last night and I said I’m fine, when I wasn’t. Apparently that triggered his worst fears that I’m capable of lying to him and will do it again, even though I was truthful with him immediately after and explained why I tried to hide that I wasn’t fine.
I explained how I felt it was unfair for him to be able to stretch the truth in his day to day but I get shamed harshly for one slip up, and he expressed that it’s never okay within our relationship, which I get! But the lack of slack I was given made me feel uncomfortable, especially now that he thinks he can see through the words I say even though my words are ALWAYS genuine!
I have a history of suppressing emotions without realizing sometimes but I’ve expressed my efforts to not do that when I’m with him
To be fair to him, his last relationship ended because she was cheating on him so he’s terrified it’ll happen again but I don’t know, it’s just a really shitty situation.
We love the shit out of each other but his fears convince him that our love is a lie 🙁
We both plan to start therapy soon once we move in together to ensure that this relationship will last, but until then, how am I supposed to navigate this? It’s stressful :/
Tl;dr my bf 20 and I f21 had our first argument and now he is convinced I’m lying about everything!
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Words are often inadequate and open to misunderstanding when dealing with someone with insecurity borne of prior relationship infidelity. Better is to use physical touch and soothing music to help someone get over an insecurity episode. Very likely he is experiencing this mood but reluctant to tell you for fear of appearing weak. Experiment with different touch-based methods to see what works best. Back and shoulder massage is easy and rarely refused. And its often a good idea to request a massage from him; it’s just touching in reverse, but it also works well. Talk less, touch more.
This sounds exhausting. You all are young and you’ve only been together for three months? I would not move in together, that is not going to fix this problem and it may get worse. He needs to get over what happened to him and realize that you are not his ex, and you need to work on having enough self worth to be open with a partner. The right person for you won’t make you walk on eggshells.