My fiance moved out yesterday M/33. On Monday we took his mom to Disneyland because she has never been. We have annual passes so we go frequently with my son. Before the trip i asked if he can make me feel included because usually whenever im around his mom they speak Spanish the entire time and i do not speak it or understand it. His mom’s primary language is Spanish but she understands and speaks English. The entire time we were at Disneyland they were walking ahead of me & my son and speaking Spanish the entire time. Me & him discussed i was going to pay for our dinner reservations and he was going to pay for everything else before then(snacks,drinks..ext) i ended up pretty much paying for everything since i have the Disney app and i can mobile order. He was going to reimburse me later. At the end of the day it was time for us to leave since my son had school the next day. My fiance wanted to stop at the ticket booth after to change reservations for her three day ticket which took 45 mins (i told him i can do it through the app) he didn’t care. I felt at this point he didn’t care how i felt at this point he didn’t care that my son had school tomorrow, he just cared about his mom the entire time. He had his arm around his mom the entire time we were at Disneyland and constantly asking if she was ok. He never once asked if me & my son needed anything nor cared to even talk to us. When we were leaving he didn’t even hold the elevator for us it closed on me & my son (i was pushing his wagon he’s on the spectrum) at this point i was very upset because i felt like he used me for a ride up there and for my sons das pass to not wait in lines. I drove us back home and was driving faster than i normally drive i normally drive 75ish and i was driving 85 on the way back home since no one was on the rode and i was ready to be done with the day. I dropped his mom off then drove us back home. My fiance went straight to sleep on the couch. The next day he started packing his stuff and i asked what he was doing and he said i almost gave his mom a heart attack and that she was terrified for her life because of how i was driving back last night. He told me “ f*** you bi**” and that im a horrible person for driving like that with his mom in the back. He completely left last night. Let me tell you guys a little back story. Me & him have been together for 5 years and my son is 6 ( he took the step dad roll well) treats him like his son. But when it comes to my fiancés mom they are VERY close like a little too close. He lived with his mom before he moved in with me (i am a 25F) btw. We built a life together. But when it comes to his mom he has a different kind of love for her. He takes her to work every single at 6am just because it’s cold. As well as spends the entire day with her on sundays. Also talks on the phone for two hours everyday with her. But when it comes to me, i cook, clean and work and take my son to and from school every single day. All my fiance does is work. (But i still pay pretty much all the bills) we used to do half and half on 3,030 rent but last few months he’s been paying less than 1000 an didn’t pay anything because we got in a argument the day before rent and he stayed with his mom for a few days. I buy all the groceries/pay for trips and take him to eat and usually when he suggests taking me to eat he always says half and half on bill. He doesn’t show me half the love he shows his mom nor takes care of me how he does her. Sometimes it feels treats her like his wife. His mom did everything for him growing up even before he moved in with me ( cook, clean and do his laundry) pretty much babied him even when he was a grown man. What do you guys think about this situation? Also once he moved out yesterday he never reimbursed me for anything for Disneyland so i paid for everything plus drove there. I told him how i felt about feeling like he didn’t care about me or my son yesterday and that his priority was his mom and he said he didn’t give a fu* and i shouldn’t of drove like that with his mom in the car. He always ends up moving out when any argument comes up then comes back. This time seemed a lot more aggressive how he was acting towards me. Not sure he will be coming back this time. I know he is very capable to show me the love u deserve because that’s how he was in the beginning of our relationship. I do love him and so does my son. I just need advice on what to do or if i should even do anything. My 6 year old is taking it especially hard that he left because he thinks of him as his dad.
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He isn’t going to magically change. You aren’t a priority in his life. He chooses his mom. He will always choose her.
You are doing all the work around the house and paying the majority of the bills to not be valued, to be yelled at, and treated horribly.
I would pack up what he has at your place, change the locks, and move on with your life.
I know your son will miss him at first. You will too. But no one should be speaking to you that way. Both you and your son don’t need that. Also his packing up and going back to mommy after fights is not how a 33 year old man should act.
If your best friend or sister told you they were going through what you just wrote, what would you tell them to do?
I wish you strength and happiness.
The man has shown you exactly who he is – believe him. He does not like you or respect you, but he definitely likes the money and stability you offer. You deserve better. Don’t let him move back.
Is this the father figure you want for your son?
Change the locks. Good riddance. Find someone who actually likes you.
Put the rest of his belongings in a rubbish bag and leave them by the door for him. What an absolute useless waste of space he is.
Let him marry his mum.
He very obviously does not care about you or the “bond” he’s established with your son. I will say this from experience. You should not ever have to plead with someone to show you they really care for you (it lowers your self esteem). You and your son deserve someone that will appreciate, love and value you. It will be tough but you have to let go of the emotional tie you have with him. It seems as though he’s using you tbh. He makes you pay 50/50 when he takes you out 🚩🚩🚩. If someone does not make you feel special and needed, they really don’t need you. Take time to heal yourself and regain you self worth before getting back out there. YOU DESERVE BETTER
Let him stay gone and sell your ring to compensate you for some of the money he owes you. Sounds like you and your son are better off without him.
I hate to tell you this but he is looking for a replacement for Mommy and you aren’t it. Cut your losses and let him go back home to her. It will be an adjustment for you and your son but you deserve someone who doesn’t make you fight for the attention. He will always be a mama’s boy(in the worst way.)
That was way too long and I didn’t read it all and I can tell he’s using you. You are much better off without him as he doesn’t contribute barely at all. Now you and your son have your freedom and peace back. Let that loser and used up back to mommy’s house. He’s gross.
In all honesty, Ew. That is some hard core emotional incest going on
He doesn’t deserve you or his son. He was more upset that you were speeding in the car because of his mom – and not because of your son. That shows you where your son rates with him. He is not a good partner. He didn’t even hold the elevator door for you – he treated you worse than I would treat someone I never met. He eats your food. He lives in your house. He uses you to take his mother on dates. He did not care that it was late and your son would be tired for school. As a matter of fact – he ignored both you and your son all day. He is using your son’s love and affection to secure a place for himself. This isn’t fair to you or your child. Please OP – let him go back to his mom and stay there. You will be surprised at how quickly you find peace once he’s gone.
I’m truly sorry to say this, but you need to get off Reddit and get your locks changed immediately
The entire post read like you were the other woman, the mistress