So we have been together for 5 years. For those years I have been going back and forth on breaking up with him. I am the type that talks through my issues and try to see if anything will change on my side or his and it does change but then it goes back to feeling like we are just roommates. I have constantly felt like a second thought especially when it comes it special occasions. My last birthday he had done nothing and told me he just “treats people how he wants to be treated”. So I did not go all out for his birthday like I usually do, I stopped putting in effort to talk about his day, ect. For the past 2-3 months I have had my anxiety skyrocket, constant feeling of puking/ nausea,sleeping is a no go, one of us sleeps on the couch most nights,and I cry multiple times a day.
This last cry I had felt like my heart was ripped in two and I thought I was having a heart attack it was so bad. But now I feel nothing. I don’t really have the motivation to fix this relationship anymore.
Like I said I talk things out so I sat him down and told him where everything is not working for me in this relationship. I was building up the courage to just cut it off but I don’t know what happened but we are still together and he started doing things around the house and started “fixing” all the issues I brought up. I am trying to stay positive about it hoping this actually sticks but deep down I no longer care. I don’t care if we stay together or break up, if he starts helping more, or if he is acting more affectionate. I don’t really care to date anyone else either. I really just have no feelings or emotions anymore since that cry.
To be honest I don’t know what I am looking for posting this on Reddit. Maybe just acknowledgement that this is normal and I just need to stick through it to see the better side.
So have any of you experienced this apathy and what did you do about it?
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Love shouldn’t leave you sleepless and sick. Walk away before “I don’t care” turns into “I wasted my life.”
P.S.: That “heart attack” cry? That was your soul breaking free. Listen to it.