I’m 47(f) married to 50 (m) for 20 years. While I was having breast cancer his ex girlfriend f (49) reached out to him and they started having an emotional affair. Texting all day,computer chats at night, he swears it was never physical and he called it off. Well I found out and was furious but we have two kids together and we worked through it. We both talked to her and her husband (yes,she was married with two kids as well) and they said it was over. He’s blocked her on everything so fast forward a year (almost to the date they got caught) this lady reached out to me two nights ago on Facebook messenger at 1:00 in the morning telling me to tell my husband “jimmy died” we don’t know any jimmy. And why in the hell is she reaching out to me? I don’t think I’m going to tell my husband. I did respond with sorry for your loss. Cause it’s a habit. But I’m not going to tell my husband about any of this. So what he can reach out to her? I’m thinking that’s what she’s wanting. Also she knew I had cancer,we were having a hard time in our marriage. She also came after him. I’ve read all the messages.
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You should tell him anyway. Trying to ensure his loyalty by managing the information he receives is a losing strategy. And anyway, if he’s going to betray you (again) because of whatever she’s trying to tell him, then you don’t want him anyway.
“worked through it”
he cheated and still kept his family – he got a great deal.
block her. your marriage is down the drain for sure tho unfortunately
You should block her on everything too, cause she sounds like someone who will continue to weasel her way into your life.
Also, just my opinion, but I think you should tell your husband. Not so he can reach out to her, and make it very clear that he is NOT to do that, but so that he is aware that this person is still trying to get at you guys and cause problems for you.
I don’t know anything about this woman , but I know a lot about narcissistic behaviours. Hoovering is a method they use to suck you back in – this seems like a Hoover attempt. She’s looking for sympathy from your husband and she’s bold enough to go through you even. Also, they don’t move on, they don’t forget. Years can go by and they’re still thinking about their past endeavours like your husband is a mountain she still wants to conquer. A normal person would let go and move on and understand relationships and boundaries.
Your husband needs to be very transparent, because he broke the trust to begin with. But he should be made aware that she is still making attempts so that if she tries to reach him in other ways, he can come to you and you guys can deal with it together.
She sent it to u because he blocked her. Just block her on all your apps.
“Jimmy” could be her husband and she’s looking to let your husband know she’s available………
You’re the woman who everyone posts about. Should I tell her? She did. You chose to believe he just couldn’t resist because she pursued him. I get that makes you feel better but he is no less guilty than she is. He’s revealed himself and you’re choosing to stay and you are going so far as to not even bring this up. I think you need to get your head out of the sand. You didn’t get the true story or the entire story.
Jimmy died is code for she split with her husband.
I’d lawyer up in advance of him finding out and chosing to restart the affair.
You need to block her and stop responding. Whether or not her husband died, she’s trying to open the door to communication. You don’t owe her anything even if she is grieving a loss. One important thing I’ve learned as an adult is that you don’t have to be nice, you don’t have to respond, you don’t need to feel guilty for blocking her (you don’t need to be unnecessarily cruel but that doesn’t apply here). Her and your husband did an awful thing. Don’t let her back in in any way and focus on healing your marriage.