Hello , Reddit
I am getting Married on May 30 th 2025 and have been planning my wedding for the last year. Today I got an invitation through Facebook for my Brother and sister in Laws baby shower. They put the baby shower the same weekend as me and my fiancée wedding. She isn’t due until late July and announced her pregnancy in December. Am I crazy for thinking this is really wrong and that they should have chosen another weekend.
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Backup of the post’s body: Hello , Reddit
I am getting Married on May 30 th 2025 and have been planning my wedding for the last year. Today I got an invitation through Facebook for my Brother and sister in Laws baby shower. They put the baby shower the same weekend as me and my fiancée wedding. She isn’t due until late July and has been Pregnant since December. Am I crazy for thinking this is really wrong and should have chosen another weekend.
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Is the the same day as the wedding? Does it interfere with the wedding at all? If not then yes you are crazy. You get a day to have attention focused on you not a weekend, not a month and not a year. Maybe the were thinking of out of town relatives and saving them a second trip. Figuring family is already together why not.
Looks like they are piggy backing off your wedding, since everyone will most likely be there. As long as it doesn’t interfere with any of your already scheduled plans, I wouldn’t worry about it. Is it wrong, yes. I absolutely think it’s pretty selfish to not, at least have a conversation with you about it first.
So you’re getting married on Friday & their party is that weekend?
Sounds perfect! The family will be in town & able to celebrate with them
You get one day. The other 364 are free to use as needed
My sister go married on my birthday, so I can confirm it’s an asshole maneuver on the part of your brother. Plus it’s odd that he did not discuss this with you in advance. That said, they may have scheduled it the same weekend because all of the family will already be in town? If it’s close by make an appearance, and don’t let it ruin your wedding.
Odd but I’d go with the everyone’s in town thought assuming you like your sister in-law if you don’t yeah it’s a dick move
Seems like a perfect date since family will be in town.
I think it’s a little tacky and honestly, as a guest for both, I wouldn’t attend the baby shower because while I’m assuming people love you and your sister, I don’t want your family taking up most of my weekend. I’d attend the wedding, send a baby gift and move on. Plus, if I’m one of the ones that is an hour away, I’m getting home from your wedding after midnight, only to have to turn around and leave again by 11am to get to the baby shower. No thanks!
I’m curious what your sister’s turnout is going to be like.
Maybe a wild suggestion, but have you spoken to your brother about this? There might not be any nefarious reasoning behind this.
Id text SIL and tell her you cant attend because you’ll be tired, hungover, and mentally exhausted from your wedding; and that a lot of the other family might be in the same boat.
See if she can move it to Sunday or another weekend.
If she doesnt want to move it, then let the chips fall where they may. If a bunch of people bow out of the baby shower because theyre exhausted and hungover the next day, thats not your problem.
NTA. It is an AH move. Something similar happened to me with my college graduation (first person to get a college degree in my family). I told my uncle and his now wife a YEAR in advance that my graduation would be a certain weekend and they scheduled the wedding the same weekend a few months later. College graduation festivities are a weekend thing where I went. I had to drive 2 almost 3 hours away there and rush back. They made the weekend about them.
As long as it it isn’t interfering with your wedding I don’t see the problem. It’s also good for the family that attended your wedding, that would also attend their shower saving them money, overall, by cutting down on travel expenses.
You get your one day, and whatever engagement parties, wedding showers Bachelorette parties, etc. That’s it. You don’t get a wedding weekend, wedding week, or wedding month.
The shower is 13 hours after the end of your wedding reception…blow it off. Tell your brother that you will to too tired from the festivities and that he should plan events better, especially when all the family is local. Enjoy the day with your husband as newlyweds.
I think it’s fine and I don’t think an invitation to a baby shower is an obligation. If you, or anyone else, can’t make it that’s ok.
You’re not crazy, especially after seeing that it’s not even their first baby.
I know everyone is saying “you get one day” but also that’s not exactly true if you’re having a big wedding. So much goes into it in the days leading up to and usually following. One day to celebrate, sure, but it’s not over with that day. And even if you weren’t planning on doing clean up or anything the next day, that probably means clean up the same night which means a late night.
I’ve also seen where you said you’re leaving that night for your honeymoon so it really seems like they either forgot the date or your wedding or do not care if you’re present for their baby shower.
I think that it makes perfect sense to have tge shower the day after the wedding. OP mentioned that the wedding reception is expected to go until 11pm. I’m presuming that alcohol will be served during the reception. She also mentioned that the out of town guests live within an hour’s drive. Hopefully, if those guests are planning on enjoying the beverages during the reception, they’ve also planned on staying at a local motel. If so, they save themselves the extra drive time.
Sorry, my maths may be way off-base (I am incredibly sleep deprived)… You said your Sister-In-Law has been pregnant since December and is due in July?
That cannot possibly be right.
Is it just me?
Everyone is going to be flying in and traveling for your wedding.
I can see their thought process as having more people there without having to travel again so soon after your wedding
Having a shower the same weekend as your wedding makes it easier for out of towners to attend. Because they’re already there for your wedding.