I (33f) am hosting my mom’s side of the family (parents & sister traveling locally + aunt, uncle, 2 cousins, and 1 cousin’s husband all driving in from 3-5 hours away) for a day July 4th weekend. Everyone but me, my husband, and my sister are Trump supporters (but not crazy MAGA people) and love talking about it. My husband stays out of politics as a whole (tired of the sh*t), and I tend to lean the other direction from my family.
I’m dealing enough with PPD and having a grumpy teething toddler. I DO NOT want anything political/news-related to cross the threshold of my home. I want this to be a nice, peaceful visit that won’t send my blood pressure through the roof.
Is this too much to ask? How do I bring up this request without pissing my family off?
Family won’t stop talking politics…
r/Advice
Comments
No, tell them and don’t be upset if they get mad. If they care more about family then politics, they can fucking prove it.
Absolutely not too much to ask your home is not a political battlefield it’s your sanctuary. Set the boundary early with calm authority if they care more about debating than respecting your peace that says everything.
Well simply communicate that you respect their decisions but request they keep it at a minimum. I don’t think it is realistic to ask them to not talks about it at all.
And work on your TDS a bit. There are very few politicians that are ALL BAD or ALL GOOD.
It doesn’t matter who the conservative leaders are. The media will make them out to be the devil. Name calling, Berate, etc…. Don’t get caught up in that
Not going to happen. It’s like saying not to talk about football.
Why host this group? You know them, they will talk politics, what will you do in response? What boundaries do you have and how have/will you communicate those boundaries to your family?
You can’t control other’s behavior, only your own. Decide what you want and take the proper steps.
You can’t. You can say whatever you want but if their past actions tell you that politics will enter no matter what else is happening you can either accept it and discuss or you can accept and say “change the subject”.
But sorry I don’t buy the Trump supporter but not MAGA part. There is no difference.
Any one who talks politics gets silly stringed. Let the kids be in charge of the punishment (with help from other adults to identify when someone breaks the rule). Everyone will laugh, the kids will love it, and hopefully it also gets your point across. (Escalate to pies to the face if people resist!)
I always worry about this w certain ppl and then politics don’t even come up and we have a great time. If they do come up I just don’t engage, I was physically assaulted for not being vaccinated and that was enough for me to stop engaging with radical folks. I leave the room, change the subject or stay quiet.
hey its your home and your rules. no talk of politics and enjoy family time if they cant do that for you then they can take that drive back home no problem
I would go to Phoenix and say it’s due to the dry air and the doctor said it would help your lungs get a break.
Wanting that isn’t unreasonable at all. I deal with the same, half of my family leaning one way and the other half the other way. Maybe send out a text in a group chat before the even begins and say something polite but also to the point. Tell them you are excited to see everyone and have a fun time but to please refrain from any political conversations as you don’t feel it’s necessary and would like to focus on other things. You could potentially say something once everyone is there but I could see that going south as people display how they feel physically or grumble and that could just stir the pot. Everyone’s family is different though!
just keep saying they are puppets and move on and be unbothered
Why are you hosting these people when you have so much going on? And there are so many of them.
With what you have going on personally, and what is going on in the world, I don’t think you’ll be able to have that peaceful visit you need. I doubt you can tell the political junkies to not talk politics. You can try, but what if something happens that weekend politically that sets everyone off?
I tuned out entirely. My wife insists on talking about everything, reading to me political tweets and the news articles all day long. I told her I’m not interested – Stop talking about it. And, if you feel so strongly about it, get active. She does neither. So now when she reads me anything I just keep doing what I’m doing and when she stops I go, “a huh,” or “wow” or “incredible “ not having heard a word she said.
I hosted Thanksgiving with my MAGA evangelical relatives during Covid. I sent out a group message beforehand and asked everyone to please refrain from talking religion and politics. That there are a million other things to talk about and to please respect the house rules.
I’m sure they called me a snowflake behind my back lol But I had board games and prizes and topics of discussion on hand (vacations, childhood memories, family history for example). They did okay
I think it depends on how respectful they are if you and your husband. He will need to back you up and police it a little if people push buttons. Be a United front, it’s your home.
And if it doesn’t work, tell everyone you won’t be hosting in the future and stick to it
Try to find empathy for them because everyone deserves empathy and kindness. The minute we start having selective empathy and making exceptions for some people is the minute we believe we are better than others when the fact is we are all equal in the eyes of God/nature.
Love your neighbor as you would love yourself does not come with stipulations.
It’s not love your neighbor as you would love yourself… unless they are a republican/democrat.
Practice empathy and kindness bic that’s always the best approach.
It’s okay to piss off the family . I straight up told mine who are all maga if we wanted to continue to have a relationship going forward they will need to leave politics out of the discussion. The have for the most part . I have one brother who will send a text once in awhile on the group chat but everyone ignores it and he gets the hint .
Just tell them you won’t have it in your house and unless they want to hear you talk woke they will leave their politics at home .
Perfectly reasonable request to make it a no politics event. I come from a mixed family as well and it is SOP for our holiday gatherings. If they object then they just don’t have to come. Your house, your rules. I’m a Trump supporter as well and I am with you. Some days I just don’t want to deal with all the political crap. Was at a concert a few months back and the lead singer stopped the show halfway through and went on a political rant. Killed the whole vibe. Brought the room down, too. I go to shows and events like that to get a break from the bullshit happening outside. Not to have it creep in and ruin that as well. You are perfectly within your rights to be very clear about your boundaries.
Ask them not to bring up politics. Then, when someone does, get up, get your baby, and go upstairs.
Don’t host next time. That way when they start being dumb, you can just leave. Also, you can’t support trump and not be a maga Trumper. They are the same thing. You can be conservative or republican and not support Trump. But you cant support trump without being maga. There’s no need to delude yourself with how dumb your family is.
There are two things I never discuss at work or at home… politics or religion. Now, my wife and I will have casual talks but we don’t even know who each other voted for (I do know her well enough to know who she voted for), but the point here is make it clear and upfront. The reason that families get together on holidays is for happiness and togetherness and make it clear if they talk politics it is counter productive on what you are striving for and tell them politely (or not politely) not to come. It is YOUR household and your husband and you should be on the same page and make this a joint statement.
You can turn it into something humorous.
“As new parents, we are very tired. We’d love to see you all here but we ask to keep the conversation light and stay away from politics. We will keep a spray bottle handy in case anyone forgets!”
Then have a spray bottle out on a table and have it labeled as something funny. Like 1st amendment or something. And if someone forgets, jokingly remind them that the bottle is right there.
I think it should diffuse the situation.
tell them you’d like to escape the headlines for the duration of the picnic and if there could be no discussion of anything related to the whitehouse, the denizens therein, the larger world, etc.
You’d like it to be about family and friends and catching u and what everyone has been up and what you’re looking forward to etc etc.
And then everytime someone starts, just interject with a topic change – right over them – even if it’s just “look! Squirrel” and then IF they squawk, just say hey – I need a break from all that, remember? And just keep doing that.
It’s gonna suck, but after the first few times, they should hopefully get it.
Put up a big sign or two that says plainly, “No discussing politics or religion, please and thank you”
Serve everyone flatulence food and get one of those prank candles that start out smelling like apple pie and then turn to fart. Accuse the boomers of ruining dinner cause of their flatulence.
They wanna talk shit? They’re gonna smell it.
I would put a sign at the door “NO POLITIC beyond this point” and another sign in the living room “NO POLITIC here”.
What is a Trump supporter but not MAGA? 😵💫
I cut MAGA people/family out of my life like 6 years ago. I have no problem with people who voted for Trump, and they are welcome at my house, but I will not tolerate those MAGA cult types.
Not going to happen, especially with all the ww3 happening out there