I’m a dad to a baby girl and I’m trying to do everything I can to be there for her. Being present, supportive, affectionate, and consistent. I’d love to hear from other dads who showed up for their daughters every step of the way.
How did your daughter grow up? What kind of person did she become?
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She knows I love her, that she can tell me anything, and she can always come home. Has she made decisions that haven’t turned out well for her, yup. Was she able to come to me and cry on my shoulder, yup. The most important part to me in raising a child is letting them make mistakes while not wagging the finger of shame at them or throwing in “I told you so.”
She’s good. Married, they have a son, they’re living on their own in the PNW and being good parents. I’m very proud of her and her husband.
As for her upbringing, or rather their upbringing. (I also have a son) I knew what I needed to do, and tried my best to always do it; be consistent, tell them I loved them, read to them, kiss them goodnight, etc., I eventually remarried and they both eventually wanted to live with us full time. We gave them structure and were consistent.
As a dad who can now look back my biggest advice to you as a dad is to never look back and have regrets. Tomorrow may never come, or if it does you don’t want to look back and say “Man, I should have done this instead of doing nothing.” Trust me, they will always remember the times you spent with them.
This does not apply to me since I do not have any children. But my father was there for my sisters but overly so IMO. He coddled them so much that they became these extraordinarily lazy, weak-willed, self-indulgent people who only knew how to make themselves a burden onto others. They often expect others to do everything for them and they also expect special rights, special privileges, and special concessions whenever they find themselves in a hole of some kind (which is often). As such, they have not gone very far in life. And they are pretty angry and bitter about the fact that others will not coddle them like my father (and mother) always did.
First, congrats man. I made sure to spend time playing with her (Barbies or whatever) and reading to her daily. When she got a little older I arranged my schedule around her events like dance, piano, sports, etc. so that I was there no matter how tired I was or whatever else there was to do.
I tried to set a good example for her and I think I did okay. She was a good kid and she’s turned into a pretty amazing young woman.
It’s funny but some of the stuff that stands out to her about her childhood is some of the most mundane stuff like when I’d bring lunch to her at school or when we went to a movie or teaching her to play sports. She doesn’t really mention the stuff I spent a lot of money on, she remembers the time we spent together.