I’m not really sure where to start. Im 17M. I guess I’ve always told myself from the age I started finding girls and guys attractive that I’m not interested in a relationship and I used to believe it however I still had an attraction to people I just wouldn’t act on it. I remeber there was this time when i was maybe 10 an there was thing girl and I was crushing on her so hard, we weren’t super close but we were chill and she got her friend to ask me out for her. I said no but it was more that I dismissed it as we became closer friends when we got to high-school until she moved away. That’s just one example but I feel like as I’ve got older obviously I’m still young but I’m in college and I feel like I’ve lost alot of appeal to have a relationship and feel like I’ve lost alot of my attraction to people in a romantic way but as I begun pushing my feelings to side and trying to ignore them I’ve gotten this constant feeling of loneliness just in the background that can only be cured by having a relationship and obviously I still want a relationship I’m just too scared which is why I begun pushing the feelings to the side and I know it’s normal for teenagers and people in general to be scared of having a relationship but it just feels really extreme and like it’s more of a problem but hey what do I know. And I’ve tried to find the cause of this by listening to podcasts and they say things such as past trauma or low self esteem but I don’t have any of what they suggest and but maybe pushing my feelings aside makes this hard to do. This could just be as simple as “Your 17 and have never had a relationship ofcoarse your scared” but it kinda feels like a big problem and more but idk. Would really apriciate any help on this.
TL;DR: I have had a fear of having a relationship has kept me from having a relationship but has begun to affect my mental healtg negatively. Advice?
Comments
you’re young, and maybe aren’t personally ready. if thats the case, that’s completely okay. everyone moves at their own pace. you’ll find someone that just feels effortless, and maybe that’ll be when you’re older and just simply more ready. it’s also normal to feel nervous. dates can be scary, and making moves towards a romantic relationship can also be scary. but that nervousness will be entwined with excitement with the right person. i was the same way when i was younger. asked out by guys but was too scared for a relationship and would become very avoidant. as an adult now im excited to be dating (but still get nervous butterflies too)! its fun, but only when you’re truly ready.