After reading a few posts on this and other communities: This is my worse fear. The sabotage of in-laws/MILs to suddenly drop the bomb & throw themselves on me/us to take care of them. We are the distantly closer ones, as his brother lives a trillion miles away and his sister lives 4 hours away, and we are about an hour away.
This is probably going to sound insane but please hear me out:
The audacity with my situation is how my reality has kind of been manipulated and coincidentally convenient to cater to husband and his family’s wants and needs over mine and my family. I am studying to be a nurse, I work in the medical field, & there’s this lowkey expectation that I’ll be able to take care of his parents one day, with MIL really riding the horse with the idea. In the beginning I was naive and thought these people cared about me, but they used my kindness and naivety, and I’m not gonna lie: there’s a bit of distrust and resentment that I have towards them. I have myself to blame as well.
But, especially with how things are with my family and how conditioned I was to self isolate (even though I was pretty much manipulated to believe my family were bad people enough to not have anything to do with), so that the focus will only be on his family, they can kick rocks tbh. I didn’t marry so that I can be your slave or personal free nurse, AND I’m suppose to just abide and go with it, obligate myself, etc.?
Again, the audacity. They don’t ask about my family, care about my family at all… I’ve realized that my husband and his family actually kind of look down on my family… & They don’t even care about my well being. They ask but only because they’re nosey., I’m always met with a “that’s your problem but I have nothing going on in my life so I want juicy gossip” demeanors and unhealthy criticisms…. yet I’m suppose to care about them? No. Not anymore. Not in the same blind loyalty and all-in commitment capacity that I have given before…
I don’t know what I got myself into anymore…
This was just a rant… something I’ve been thinking about lately… I have always put myself on the back burner with my own family a bit, but now with husband and his family, and I just honestly want better for myself now. I am a bit conflicted, but the rose colored glasses are off now.
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Other posts from /u/Cake_over_icecream:
How to handle NC, 3 weeks ago
Is MIL being manipulative/passive aggressive or what?, 3 weeks ago
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Tell husband no, you will NOT take care of them. They can hire a caregiver
Sounds like you could be a hospice wife
Get your degree then take your kids if you have any and leave.