I (19F) have been dating my girlfriend (18F) for about 4 months now , we are both in the same college. I feel like i did something really shitty (3 months ago) in the beginning of our relationship that even she probably forgot about that i cant help but feel guilty about. I was sitting with her and a male friend of mine one which i sadly trusted and considered very close . I decided to play a game with him and his other friend and kept trying to get her to join but she wouldnt. (The game is basically a person is asked a “who” question and the answer has to be a person thats participating in the game . The person who is the answer to the question he doesnt know yet is given a lighter and plays rock paper scissor with the person who gave the lighter , if the person who is the answer wins he knows the question if he doesnt he gets to drown in curiosity basically) that male friend of mine first asked “who is the hottest person” i was annoyed and didnt want to answer it so i asked if i could pick my gf even if she wasnt participating so throughout the whole game i kept telling her to participate because of those uncomfortable questions . The worst question he asked was who would you have sex with. I got really flustered and stressed and thats when i actually kept begging her to join the game so i would give her the lighter because there was no answer other than her and i didnt want to do anything wrong or weird but he insisted that im breaking the rules and shit so to shut him up i threw the lighter at him. He kept trying to win the rock paper scissors game to make the question public but i won and the question wasnt made public. After the game i was basically dissociating and asking myself what the fuck was that and my girlfriend noticed and asked what was wrong i just told her i was asked embarassing questions to hint about what happened which was obvious she then said its ok its just a game. I feel so guilty for even answering that like i couldve just left the game or said no . I hate myself and still feel guilty to that day. Am I in the wrong? If so how do i fix this ? Im already mad at my male friend for putting me in this situation till now and trying to distance myself from him but i feel like i was in the wrong as well
TL;DR played a game where i had to choose from the games participants (who were only 2 other ppl) who i would have sex with but i couldnt choose my girlfriend cus she was there but wasnt participating at the moment and i feel guilty till now