So I’m about 99% sure my boyfriend isn’t fully over one specific ex of his. He’s had her on Snapchat up until recently (I believe he removed her after their streak broke) and had been following both her Instagram accounts (again, up until recently). There was nothing suspicious in their saved in chat on Snapchat, I know there was at some point but not anymore. The only thing I found was a text he sent her when I started talking to him last year where he said he missed things about her and asked if they could talk. I am going to put it out there, his ex is Asian. I’ve noticed that a lot of accounts he follows are Asian women, including some that look a lot like his ex. I am not Asian at all, I’m as white as can be. Even when I asked him what color I should dye my hair, he said black, and she has black hair. Could be reaching with that one but of course it’s crossed my mind. I’ve noticed that he’s been commenting on a lot of posts of girls that don’t look anything like me or, again, are Asian.
Of course it’s not a race thing and I’m 100% NOT racist, but this pattern is kind of saddening for me. He does some hurtful things sometimes but he does love me a lot. I’m not sure if this is something to be worried about or not. Is this common?
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Darling you are young, go out and just enjoy living a hassle free life away from this kind of guy.
You don’t need this.
You most certainly do not need to change or ask to change any part of yourself for the right guy.
You will find yourself a nice guy who will adore you for you.
If his ex said she would take him back tomorrow? Would he go? I think likely. You deserve more than that.
Your feelings are validated and I so wish you could feel the amount of love you should have for yourself instead of him and up and leave him to his silly ways.
this is fairly common when someone is indeed not over their ex. if I knew my boyfriend was even still reaching out to his ex during our relationship, it’d be a done deal. bring it up to him when you’re comfortable but don’t let it drag on too long
Not normal behaviour. He clearly isnt over her. Don’t waste your time by being a rebound, you are still young. Move on find someone who is fully interested in you, rather than being with someone who is busy trying to recreate their ex.
Girl I know you’re feeling insecure but pulling a full CSI investigation of all his social media – private and public – unprompted is neurotic. Despite what some other people are saying, I don’t think anything you found is that damning.
You need to have an open and honest conversation with him about your insecurities and the things he is doing to feed into those insecurities. I know you’re young but you’ve got to learn that whipping yourself into a paranoia without ever actually addressing issues directly with your partner is not the way to handle these things. It’s time to give him the chance to make you feel better about all of this or confirm your fears.
Your guts is usually right. Sounds like he’s not over her but she’s over him. If I were you, I wouldn’t waste my time with someone who wasn’t all in.
he isnt over her, if anything hes using you to make her jealous or something. dont waste your youth comparing your beauty to somebody elses im sure you are a beautiful lady with a whole future ahead of you
He’s using you as a placeholder. I hope you walk away from this guy