I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 5 months now. For context we started talking about a month after an intense traumatic breakup that i was still processing. I ended up bringing her on a trip with me and asked her to be my girlfriend and i dont think I waited long enough. I didn’t listen to my instincts and now i dont think I’m happy.
I started writing a pro/con list (something I do for big decisions) and it isn’t looking great. We have similar life goals, likes, and she makes me feel more loved than I’ve ever felt before. But I feel like she loves me more than I love her. It feels imbalanced and scary. She does things that are invalidating (I use they them pronouns and prefer partner and she uses she her and calls me her gf, pokes and points when talking despite telling her it triggers my CPTSD.) She can be kinda a downer about things I love, and she takes things really seriously that are not serious ie. Things explained wrong on TV) and she can be a bit controlling. (When I went shopping for my first apartment by myself she insisted I bought certain things i didn’t exactly want or have money for and it turned into more “our” apartment than mine.)
She also has different interests than mine that are important to me (I love excersizing and outdoors, going to the club to dance, etc. And she’s more likes to stay inside out of the sun, doesn’t like dancing..etc) im also autistic and this is only my 2nd relationship so i don’t really know how normal any of this is. Our opposites sometimes make me laugh (she hates how I cut butter and says we’d have seperate butter if we lived together) and sometimes it’s really downing (i mentioned how much I miss running due to disabilities and she just said she doesn’t understand why people enjoy running.)
TLDR; my gf and I love each other but we have clashing moments and I can’t tell if this is bad enough to go or something we should work through. I feel as if she loves me more than she loves me.
My question is, is it true opposites attract or it is a base for a negative relationship?
Comments
Honestly, if someone doesn’t make you feel happy and light in their presence (especially so early on in a relationship), they’re probably not right for you. Doesnt mean they’re a bad person or anything like that, but you just might not be the right fit together.