I’m gonna be 30 this year (end of November, specifically). And one of my biggest problems and primary contributors to my depression, usually, is comparing myself to others and the success and accomplishments people have had. I’m specifically talking about the accomplishments of family members and not celebrities.
For example, my parents both had the house I grew up in by the time they were 30, my cousin is married and has a house, my other cousin is basically a chick and friend magnet, my older brother has a high paying real estate gig, etc. Stuff like that is what I always put myself up against, and I don’t know why I do it.
I do know that, objectively speaking, I genuinely haven’t really done anything with my life besides traveled abroad once and done some small things. I barely squeaked through college and have no social life/friends, and I just don’t really have anything to offer the world or people.
Any advice is appreciated.
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Just live your life. Truth is, subconsciously, you’re probably doing what you want to do.
Find at least one area to zone and excel. No one wants to squeak through life.
All the skills the people you described have are trainable with focused practice and effort.
A high paying outlet that is even better than realtor is recruiter if you own the company. Recruiters get 30%+ commissions of someone’s entire wage and you can focus on placing people into high paid industries leveraging their resume not yours.
For social skills can force yourself to go out and consume learning material around it listen to podcasts etc.
Comparison is the thief of joy, just do you and enjoy the time you have on this earth. Life is short.
You’re the only person who has lived your life, and they’re the only person who has lived theirs, so how are you going to compare?
I’d suggest stoic or maybe even pop-stoic reading. You need to separate out this comparison nonsense from the possible underlying desire to do more with your life. The comparison stuff is just never any good, you’ll do stuff from your depressive POV where the things everyone else has done are great and the things you’ve done are nothing. That’s a waste of energy. BUT, it’s possible to make a plan to increase the action in your life socially, romantically, professionally (whatever you want to try next) with intention and get your life more like the abstract one you want.
Comparison is the thief of job.
It’s hard to not compare what you and others have done, the way I look at it is that there’s always going to be someone better than you at something and there’s always going to be a case when you’re better than someone at something but in reality it doesn’t matter, always just focus on your life and what you’re doing with it. No one else matters
Ignore the material stuff
You said what you don’t have. Go after those things. you have to put in effort to have friends
There is no one right way to live, don’t live up to other peoples expectations, only live tobplease yourself.
There will always be someone “doing better” than you. The key to life is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.
Go volunteer with the homeless once a week for a couple of months. Hell, maybe just drive through the worst neighborhood in your town tonight.
Focusing on what others have is a guaranteed way to make yourself feel like shit. Focusing on helping others is a guaranteed way to build self esteem.