I’m currently financially stressed and my wife has proven that if it directly affects her, she couldn’t give less of a shit. Not to say I’m considering divorce but this made me wonder what other situations have you guys gone through?
Fellas, what’s the one thing that your other half said or did that really made you consider divorce?
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I’m currently financially stress and my wife has proven that if it directly affects her, she couldn’t give less of a shit. Not to say I’m considering divorce but this made me wonder what other situations have you guys gone through?
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She was just too needy. I needed personal space and that didn’t exist to her.
Not married but 4 years. 1.5 years ago, she got physical but what terrified me was the deep hatred of me in her eyes. That day I decided not to make anything official. I am here for our kid. She is here for the control she enjoys on me.
She asked for a divorce! lol
Ex started experimenting with coke. ✌🏽
For me… every occasion I needed her…. She punted. Came up with the stupidest of excuses. I think she really felt shamed for it and yet still hasn’t apologized.
In theory, I’ve forgiven her but there’s only so many times you can be hung out to dry until you’ve fully lost trust.
We aren’t divorced yet but I’m still working out the details. She’s very spastic when stressed and I need to be 100% prepared or she will blow everything up.
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After I missed work to care for her during an illness, she said I wasn’t concerned with her health when I cancelled a trip even her doctor said she shouldn’t go on. She claimed all I was concerned with was money.
Refuses to back me up over certain things about our kids. I’ve been at the point of packing my stuff to leave.
Announced her miscarriage in front of her mum and dad who were over to chat.
Why she thought this was something to share with us all at once was, and still is, so confusing to me.
It was if she spilled a drink the way she just casually said ‘Oh Ive just had a miscarriage, who wants tea’? Her mum and dad looked at her, looked at me and we were all a bit WTF.
I honestly couldn’t stand her in that minute (we were married).
She eventually lied to me about her birth control she ‘wanted time off work’ so thought just stopping her BC was the answer. I divorced her over that.
10years married also
“I’m ashamed of you” (as in, ” I’m both ashamed for who you are, and for me because I am with you”).
Divorce is basically inevitable. I’m just studying what’s the best way to do it for the kids.
I’m married.
She doesn’t care to meet any of my friends
She never says sorry
She have now broke two heirlooms
She weaponises our child
She doesn’t let you say what’s wrong, just stops you speaking and walks off.
Its crazy.
she was drunk. said she liked her bf more than me.
We bought a house in 2023, I got laid off late last year and when I told her, the first thing she said was “what about the house?”
It didn’t even register in the moment, but later that hit me like a truck
Dead bedroom situation.
Ex slowly discovered she was probably asexual, but not the kind that is repulsed by sex, just the type that never thinks about it. Couldn’t cum at all and wasn’t interested.
She was really hot and a cool person but that was hard. I tried to give it space and stop asking for it and pressuring her, just accepting things.
In the last 5 months we were together, while I didnt ask, she never initiated. Not one time, despite constant communication about it.
We had sex twice in 5 months. Just didn’t work for me.
Competing with the kids for attention.
One time after a tense exchange she said, “Deckard was a replicant.”
She constantly fills the schedule. Gets overwhelmed. I take stuff off her plate. She gets a slight break from what I took from her. Then she fills the open spot in her schedule again. Gets overwhelmed. I take more from her. Repeat for a decade. Talked about it dozens of times. Her mom told her what she does. I’m gassed, split is 70/30 me/her and I’m basically done.
That it was okay for me to change careers, as long as it didn’t impact her lifestyle.
How would you feel about a
Not necessarily divorce but a few years ago I had surgery on my hand after slicing it with a Stanley blade accidentally.
My wife wasnt that sympathetic after the initial accident and I’m the one that cooks,she didn’t offer too even though I could only use one hand,.
It made me think about the future if I was unable to look after myself etc she wouldn’t be the one to do it.
Any conversation thats starts with “there’s something I need to tell you…”
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She kept going out and doing her own thing. When I tried to do that she tried to guilt me into staying around with her.
It felt controlling. There are countless other examples which screamed that she is a narcissist.
Was never married but after 10 years together “you probably love me more than I love you” which I thought was a joke, it was not.
She said “Bend over and relax. I want to try something.” Scared me into considering divorce.
After a few tries, I reconsidered divorce.
She told me that my sick dad was a burden on our family and he deserved to be sick. (He had COPD and used to smoke cigarettes, but also worked around chemicals his entire life)
Step-daughter was diagnosed with cancer.
Wife quit her job to take care of her.
I worked my butt off. I got a promotion, and 3 raises within a year.
I started cutting my own hair, meal prepping my meals (rice and chicken, which came out to about $2 a meal), i sold a bunch of my own stuff so we could afford to pay bills.
Even though I was making way more money, my wife didn’t want to get rid of my step-daughter’s expensive sports car. So the $1000 /month for it really was putting us in major debt.
She ended up being cleared of cancer a few months ago.
My wife started working again and has been using that money to continue to pay for my step-daughters car payments. Even though step-daughter has a full time job.
I asked her why since I’m in a lot of debt putting medical bills on my credit card ($40k), and that money could help me pay it down.
She told me it’s her money and she can use it however she wants.
I bring up the fact that I sold a bunch of my stuff so we could buy food and not lose the house.
She responded “no one told you to sell your stuff”
Allowing her car to get stolen, getting a dog without asking me, the cheating was also kind of a big deal
I actually got divorced so about 20 things.
My wife said she didn’t want kids after we’d been married 10 years, that was a problem. She kept opening up secret credit cards and maxing them out, that was a problem. She told me that she never wanted to have sex again and for me to find someone else to have sex with, this was said in my workplace in front of my employees. She got drunk and yelled at me in front of everyone at a nice restaurant.
She tried to kill me, that was a major one.
One time I got a phone call that my dad was having a heart attack and he was waiting for an ambulance on the side of the road somewhere and I got teared up but didn’t actually cry and about a week later my wife and I were arguing about something minor and she said “what are you gonna do about it? Cry again?”
I checked her email once to get her flight information so I could pick her up at the airport because she didn’t send it to me like she was supposed to and she was buying drugs from someone in there and keeping that a secret from me.
She skipped our anniversary so she could go to a friend’s wedding
She skipped Christmas with my family so she could hang out with her druggie friends
She skipped my dad’s birthday because she “didn’t feel like” going, probably again to hang out with her druggie friends.
She would hide large sums of cash in different places in the house by getting money out of our joint account to pay bills and then just never paying the bills. When she finally moved out she had thousands of dollars in cash mysteriously and I got stuck paying alot of stuff that was already supposed to be paid
She broke a mirror over my back once. She was just in general low key physically violent. She used to play rugby so for a woman she is pretty physical. I was a martial arts instructor for several years so I could deal with it but she would casually shoulder check me or hit me or kick me or throw things at me any time she didn’t like what was being said or if she was just in a mood.
She would constantly hold our good time hostage and if she didn’t get what she wanted she would deliberately ruin days off or vacations or family get togethers.
One time at a funeral for one of my dad’s close friends who worked for him, she said in the funeral, like in the pews during the service, that as far as she was concerned that my dad killed him by working him to death. Then about 5 minutes later the guy’s son gave a eulogy where he specifically said his dad would have died years earlier if not for my dad giving him something to do and a reason to get out of bed every day.
Stuff like that
She refused to stop yelling at our crying daughter one late evening. Something broke in me that night.
She stopped wearing our engagement ring. Then lster she said she didn’t want to marry me right now. To me that meant the engagement was off. Apparently not to her.
She refused to let me see my kids from my previous marriage. Two innocent wellbehaved teenagers who never did a thing to hurt her. And more imoortantly she couldn’t understand why I had a problem with that. And when confronted with that, she gaslighted me with “I never said that” nonsense.
But what finally killed it was when I saw “the face” during an argument later on. Everyone who has seen it knows what I mean. It is the face a woman will show you when she utterly despises you. It might just be in the heat of the moment, during an argument, but I could never do that. That contempt. That cold sneer. I knew then that it was truly over. That kind of face is impossible to make if you love someone. And if you do, it will break love.
I wish I wss more poetic because my description doesn’t do it justice.
I started to diet and exercise and lost 30lbs. She got irritated, and screamed at me because I wanted to eat healthier. She never once supported my lifestyle change. She would constantly make little digs about it. She later got gastric surgery with ozempic too. She became thin. I made sure to never support her. Witch was petty. We divorced. And our son suffered from that. I feel guilt for that. I gained all my weight back and have stayed single.
“I no longer want to raise a child in this world after the Uvalde Massacre, if cops aren’t going to do their fucking job.” I considered it and although I want to be a father, she isn’t wrong.
Only divorce once, lying, cheating, and gaslighting me to believe I was the problem. Had some crazy gf that would drink and become a witch. Oh, the list is long..
i loved my ex wife so much that, gun to my head, i couldn’t identify something that would have made me consider divorce.
she very clearly did not feel the same way.
Never married, but I did leave a GF because of something despite still having feelings.
So, at the time, we both were dealing with mental health issues, her more than I (she had depression and eating disorder related problems, I was coming out of a depressive hellhole).
I was getting myself treatment for my issues, she wasn’t.
I made it very clear, from the beginning of our relationship, that while I’d help her as much as possible to find solutions to her problems and support her, I couldn’t make the choices to actually go and get help, talk for her, actually TAKE the decision to get help FOR her. That has to be HER choice.
At the end, she brought up the possibility of going to a voluntary psych hold type thing, and I helped her search for doctors, hospitals etc, I was willing to call for her to make the appointments, I was willing to bring her there etc, but not actually choose whether or not it was the best option for her.
We got into a fight about it, and ended up splitting a few days later. As far as I know, soon after she got into a relationship with one of her friends, no news since, so… yeah.
She built up some credit card debt in secret. I’m a little anxious about money but it mostly just hurt being lied to. She came clean, paid it off, and we are still together, but I told her if anything like that happens again I’m out, and I mean it. Not married but living together in a 5 year relationship
“Your just a waste of life”
While I was 8 months pregnant with our second child.
Why did the ah say this??
Because I couldn’t bend over to clean our living room and toys.
I had terrible painful hemmroids and I have a degenerative back disease. I was in tons of pain and still chasing our son around. I also had a leg injury that resulted in me having loss of feeling so both my feet were super swollen and I just couldn’t do much.
He was mad that I expected him to step up and pick up after our first.
Tbh, I didn’t even ask him to pick anything up- I just told him I couldn’t do everything….like I always had.
Mind you, I still cooked, swept, did all our dishes, took my older son to school and did all the grocery shopping and stuff I normally did
But, getting down on the floor and picking up toys and deep cleaning wasnt happening. I couldn’t do it and apparently that meant I was a waste of life.
For a while, every time he looked at me, all I heard were those words. It cut right through me. How could anyone say that to the person that was carrying life, especially when we had our first bc he desperately wanted kids (when I didn’t). But. I had to take a back seat and put my career on hold and made all these sacrifices for my son (and now my daughter) that he didn’t.
He never changed diapers or woke up at night to help feed. He never spent much time one on one until my son was older. He was interested in all the fun parts of parenting while I was stuck navigating my whole being centered around children that I had bc I loved him.
He could still sleep in until whenever he wanted and go out whenever he wanted. His job never changed. His sleep habits never changed. He didn’t have to worry about keeping little people alive bc apparently that was my sole responsibility. So we’re all the messes
The best part was his criticism of how I did everything. Couldn’t do anything right. He wouldn’t help me with anything but wanted to complain about how i did it.
I finally did leave. I am much better off now.
Also, don’t get me wrong, I adore both my kids and would do it all over again. They are the best thing that ever happened to me. But, I def lit myself on fire doing it all by myself bc if I didn’t he made me feel inferior so I walked on egg shells and never asked for help because if I did he would say why can every other woman do it with no help but you can’t..
Anyway, we finally left. I moved back into my families farm and never looked back. I wish I had done it sooner.
“I want a divorce.”
Honestly half the nonsense that goes on. But that’s a fight or flight response. You have to consider your vows. I know it’s considered BS to look at things that way, but you two should be in it to win it.
If you can’t stand to look at her anymore, or even hear her talk the nonsense. That’s when it’s time to walk. Everything else is just par for the course. You made a vow, you probably say and do dumb shit too.
“You have no friends.” Most of our mutual “couple” friends are people I brought to the relationship.
“You are a small gray speck of a soul.” Said in the midst of a fight. I’ll admit, I admire the poetry. But it is truly one of the meanest things I’ve ever heard.
Selfeshness. That is one overriding factor.
In one case it was good ‘ole cheating-similar story to anyone else. In the other I was basically informed her pets were more important than me. She was moving out. As a couple who really never fought this felt more like a power play for power in general but her handling made me feel like I simply didn’t matter any more so I (after a week to think it over) told her she needs to be going then. I don’t think she expected such a quick response. I don’t regret it a bit. Happily remarried while I’ve heard she’s really struggled in the 20 years since.
She said she hated lord of the rings.
For real, some of her political views don’t align with mine at all and I didn’t find out until after we were engaged.
That being said we’re sexually compatible, emotionally compatible, we have similar life goals, we both don’t want kids, we both prioritize travel, and we both care about the homeless and high risk communities in our city.
So I decided I had hit 95% of the jackpot and went with it.