Fiancée wants to wear heels, what do the short guys do?

r/

To all my short homies out there, I need some help.

My fiancée and I are starting to pick outfits for engagement pictures, wedding, etc. She has always had an issue wearing heels around me because we are the same height (about 5’7″, in the right shoes)

She is wanting to wear heels for all these events, but doesn’t want to be towering over me.

What are y’all doing to increase your height? Any certain shoes or insoles you recommend?

ETA – this is easier than replying to all the comments. I have zero issue being shorter than her in the photos, I haven’t grown since freshman year, I’m used to it now.

She is having the insecurities because she isn’t wanting to look like a giant next to me.

Comments

  1. AHailofDrams Avatar

    Tell her she can’t have her cake and eat it too lol

  2. LosChivos Avatar

    Wear taller heels

  3. Cybersoaker Avatar

    Be a good fiance and wear the heels for her.

  4. MrAlbritton Avatar

    5’7 or 7’5 I’m still the man! It’s a reason why you go that beautiful woman by your side! Don’t sweat it! 

  5. msantaly Avatar

    How are you two engaged and having this problem? But get lifts 

  6. bbbbbbbbbbbbzsn Avatar

    Timberland’s with black shoe polish

  7. levilee207 Avatar

    Those two ideas are mutually exclusive unless you fancy bone lengthening surgery or wearing heels yourself 

  8. Longjumping-Oil-7419 Avatar

    They make men’s dress shoes with a heel on them

  9. Fabulous-Suspect-72 Avatar

    Unless you want to wear heels too, I’m afraid there is nothing you can do.

  10. PmButtPics4ADrawing Avatar

    what does she expect you to do?

  11. dadToTheBone37 Avatar

    I wouldn’t increase my height at all. Tower over me, that’s hot as hell

  12. Dindamom Avatar

    Own it and let her wear heels.

  13. YaumeLepire Avatar

    She could always wear them and not care…

  14. OldStray79 Avatar

    Does she insist on having the heels show up in the photos? If she doesn’t, at least for the photos, have a small platform to stand on, and have the photographer do it so it doesn’t show up.

    As for the rest of the night, just enjoy being able to have easier access to stare at her chest.

  15. 5-15 Avatar

    “Babe you are so feminine and beautiful I don’t think you looking taller than me is a problem”

  16. White-tigress Avatar

    Just let her wear the heels, literally no one cares. If YOU care then that’s something you need to figure out why. She picked you for who you are, you will both look great in pictures no matter a height difference or not, and the only thing anyone cares about is seeing how happy you are and the date of the wedding. Don’t be so insecure over such a ridiculous thing. Let her wear heels and wear your dress shoes and move on.

  17. Coidzor Avatar

    >She is wanting to wear heels for all these events, but doesn’t want to be towering over me.

    I suppose the next step in that conversation is to ask if she’s trying to ask you to wear lifts without asking you to wear lifts.

  18. IFixYerKids Avatar

    She wore the heels and looks taller than me in the photos. There are some men’s dress shoes that will make you look taller, but fuck it, just embrace it. That’s going to be your wife, neither of you should be insecure at this point.

  19. KingEsoteric Avatar

    My wife is four inches taller barefoot and still wears heels. The answer is to not worry about it. If she has an issue, she needs to get over it or get with someone else because it’s not going away.

  20. jumboponcho Avatar

    Get whatever shoes Pacino and Cruise wear in their movies

  21. JJQuantum Avatar

    I’m 5’10” but dated a girl who was 5’11” in college. I just let her be taller than me. It was like dating a model when she wore heels.

  22. ope_sorry_there Avatar

    Brother if superficial height supremacy is that important it’s something that needs to be addressed earlier in the relationship. Stand proud next to your partner, always. Isn’t that what the vows in a marriage say you’ll do. 

  23. InnerSight3 Avatar

    Got some awesome Converse Lift Hi Tops. Sole doesn’t look that much thicker than the OG, and the lift it has looks swanky AF. I couldn’t believe the difference in height they made! Look around for something like this.

    Side note, I and all women I know do not care that much about a man’s height as much as men think they do. She might not care as much as you think.

    Find a solution that honours you both. She doesn’t have to wear stiletto heels, just normal. You can scout around for some thick/lift sole shoes.

    Btw, congratulations and blessings!

  24. No_Nectarine6942 Avatar

    Embrace the short king.

  25. klc81 Avatar

    Either don’t worry about it, or insist she has leg-shotening surgery.

  26. NotHyoudouIssei Avatar

    Let her wear the heels, man.

  27. HDxRUSH Avatar

    I feel like it’s safe to assume she doesn’t like you for your height. My wife and I are the same height. Nobody has ever made a comment, heels or not. I think you both are making more of this than is needed.

  28. t1msh3l Avatar

    Own it and show off your tall hot drink of water!

  29. InterestPractical974 Avatar

    I’m not short but the issue is that my wife is only an inch shorter than me. I’m lucky she isn’t into heels as a fashion choice but it does happen every few years. Think a wedding or fancy dinner. Those nights SUCK. My posture is never tested more than on those nights. I suppose that it is proof that I am self-conscious about it but like I said it happens so infrequently that it really feels awkward when it does.

  30. sirdabs Avatar

    Don’t worry about it. It’s not an issue.

  31. sweergirl86204 Avatar

    Whatever you do, don’t stand on tiptoes for pictures with her. I saw a guy do that because his wife was like 8 inches taller than him (she was wearing heels. Usually she’s only like 3-4 inches taller) and it was the most insecure, goofy shit I’ve ever seen 🙈🤢

  32. gaelorian Avatar

    Sounds like you have the right attitude. She either wants to wear heels and be taller or she doesn’t. Completely her choice.

  33. uranusishome Avatar

    get shoes that have a higher heel, but also get some inserts that help with height? my cousin is 6’0 and she wore kitten heels and her husband is like 5’6, he wore some thick platform shoes for wedding picsss

  34. chaos021 Avatar

    Seems like that’s a her problem. Either y’all get someone to do some photography magic or she will have to deal with it.

  35. Temporary_Tune5430 Avatar

    Would you complain about a trophy being too tall? 

  36. Wi11y_Warm3r Avatar

    I mean, idk what to tell you man. I feel like putting lifts in your how shoes or whatever is kind of dumb just for her to be able to wear heels. Maybe ask her what exactly it is that makes her insecure (ike, I get the not wanting to look like a giant, but ask why that is exactly). Maybe you guys could work through it.

  37. Strike_Wide Avatar
    • She wants to wear heels

    • She wants to not tower over you

    • She wants to continue being with you

    She can only pick two out of the above list.

    You shouldn’t change anything about yourself, instead you should reassure her that it’s okay for her to be taller. People read a scenario like this and immediately assume it must be you, the man, that has the height insecurity, but I’m sure it’s not uncommon among taller women.

  38. PromotionStriking353 Avatar

    Grab her glutes more often there closer

  39. Mythnam Avatar

    A bunch of people are telling you to get over it, but since she’s the one with the issue, the same thing actually applies to her. She should get over it.

  40. Chubbygator847 Avatar

    So, she has the insecurities? Because she’s afraid of making you feel insecure? Or does she not like the idea of physically being taller than you? Also, how do you feel about it? Does it bother you?

  41. FlimsyConversation6 Avatar

    Good photographers can work around this to make both you and your fiancée happy with the engagement and wedding pictures. Same with videographers and video.

  42. RickyRacer2020 Avatar

    Encourage her to wear 4 & 5 inch heels.

  43. ArrrrghB Avatar

    Wear a nice Chelsea boot with a wee (or wee+) bit of a heel on it

  44. CountDangerfield Avatar

    I know a couple that had this exact problem. It was her problem and she solved it by deciding for herself. she decided to stick with flats. If she had decided to go with 8 inch ballet spikes it wouldn’t have made a difference.

    she’s an adult, she can pick her footwear all by herself.

  45. AmorinIsAmor Avatar

    You both need to move on from that

    You wont magically get taller. If she towers you so what? It is what it is.

  46. DreadfulRauw Avatar

    I don’t know man, seems like her hang up, so you’d have to work on that. I’ve dated taller women, and in just fine starting them in the boobs.

    People are different sizes. If she towers over you, no big deal.

  47. Bigbennjammin Avatar

    Boobs closer to eye level. I don’t see the problem.

  48. workingMan9to5 Avatar

    Honestly, talk to you photagrapher about this. It’s something the deal with all the time and they will be able to give you the best guidance.

  49. YaBoiSVT Avatar

    Get you some nice cowboy boots. They’ll give you a decent lift and make sure to break them in before the event 👍

  50. coachglove Avatar

    Let her be taller than you?

  51. waltzing123 Avatar

    As a tall gal, I appreciate your attitude. My husband and I are the same height and I have never heard him complain about me wearing heels or not—sounds like you are similar. That being said, I prefer to be a similar height and not tower above in heels. Sometimes I wear heels anyway and just go with it. For your engagement photo situation you could let the photographer know ahead of time that fiancée does not want to look taller than you. They should have some good ideas about poses that will give an illusion of what she wants. You can look up poses online too and practice before the photo session. Sitting on the ground or on chairs, you standing, her sitting, stairs, certain ways of standing or her standing slightly behind with one leg (and showing heel) in front, standing far apart-hold one hand in the middle and her dramatically leaning back? At the wedding will be a little trickier since it is a live event.

    I like the idea of you continuing to support her that you love her at any height. Oops, just noticed this was the ask men section.

  52. Possible_Peak5405 Avatar

    Well that settles it, ask to use her other pair of heels.

  53. turbotong Avatar

    tell her to go watch that south park episode where kyle gets height surgery to play on the basketball team

  54. Haisha4sale Avatar

    Boot up. Chelsea boots are appropriate in most situations. I wear them all the time. 

  55. Character_Club_5257 Avatar

    Look up to your queen.

  56. Mattene Avatar

    Sounds like a her problem

  57. ChannelOk1931 Avatar

    They make lifts that can be put into the heels of shoes. If that isn’t enough find some shoes that have thick soles and maybe even add the lifts to those.

  58. abomb420666 Avatar

    Most cowboy boots have 1-2 inch heel on them. It’s an easy way to get a boost without looking like you’re trying to.

  59. Sketchy-saurus Avatar

    Tell her they give you bunions.

  60. orlybatman Avatar

    >She is wanting to wear heels for all these events, but doesn’t want to be towering over me.

    I mean… it’s one or the other.

    It’s her own insecurity to deal with, not something that you can fix by doing anything. If you try, you’re just reinforcing the validity of it.

    As a guy who stopped growing at 5’2, heels won’t make much of a difference. Nearly everyone I meet is larger than me so I long since got used to it. She can wear moon shoes for all I care.

  61. Spikes7824 Avatar

    Embrace it, nothing wrong with that!!

  62. tville1956 Avatar

    You should enjoy the temporary need to look up to kiss her. Underrated IMO

  63. Retro_Riven Avatar

    Tell her its okay and you like it because it makes you feel like you’re walking around with a victoria secret model

  64. ayeheyyo Avatar

    Let her wear heels dont let it bother you. Be like Joe Pesci in casino.

  65. millenialbullshite Avatar

    Ultimately this is something she has to deal with on her own.
    If she wants to wear heels in her engagement photos, her shoes aren’t going to be in every photo, she can slip them off. And a decent photographer can work with perspective for others if she’s that worried about looking taller.

    Wearing heels for your wedding is stupid and uncomfortable

  66. Ivedonethework Avatar

    Get you own guy heels (boots etc.).

  67. Name-Bunchanumbers Avatar

    Where shoes with lifts, stand on a staircase or hill and have her lean into you. 

  68. MHTrek Avatar

    Accept death by snusnu for the honor it is.

  69. DandyWhisky Avatar

    I know you asked the smaller homies and not me, but I’m a woman who is a bit taller than you and here’s the deal for your fiancée (because she’s the one with the issue, not you):

    Wear the heels and stop worrying because it’s not important, your fiancé doesn’t feel emasculated; or

    Wear flats.

    Either way, don’t sweat it, the photos will be great, have an awesome life together not worrying about shit like height.

  70. YesAmAThrowaway Avatar

    Easy, you two buy heels for both of you.

  71. Idioxix Avatar

    Cowboy boots 👍 they look good and they add a lil height

  72. bratwurstian Avatar

    I read this after your edit, so I hope it doesn’t get post under all the body-positive posts lol

    Wear shoe lifts!

    Congrats and love that you both are (usually) comfortable with your height 🥰

  73. jjamesr539 Avatar

    Take the photos in settings with natural height differences that are in the environment, or take the photo from a slightly lower POV The height difference, even with heels, won’t be more than a couple inches. An inch or two is plenty to visually negate the heels (it’s hard to estimate height in a photo that closely and you’ll be wearing shoes), so even her standing on a thick carpet while you stand next to her on the bare floor would be enough, but not visually stick out. Try a couple selfies with you both wearing the shoes you’ll wear to see how much you actually need for it not to be noticeable. My bet is that it’s less than you think.

  74. RedPillAlphaBigCock Avatar

    There absolutely is heel lifts for men , look into them

  75. vehicularmcs Avatar

    I’m 5’7 on a tall day. In college I dated a 6 ft volleyball player for a while. She had great legs. She wore heels all the time to show them off. People would turn around and stare when we walked into rooms. I thought it was dope. You could tell your lady you think it’s cool.

    Or you could carry a step stool around with you for the pictures. Nobody can tell you’re standing on something in pictures.

  76. bigmilker Avatar

    I dated a girl that was an inch shorter than me and loved heels. She was a hottie so I was ok with it. Tell her you don’t care and something like height isn’t going to stop yall in the future from being happy so just celebrate today in heels