FINAL FINAL UPDATE – My [F35] BF [M37] Threw a Party After My Dog Died – AITA for Cutting Him Off?

Hi again, friends. I didn’t plan on updating again (hence the dramatic “final” in my last post haha), but a lot has happened and I figured I owed it to all the kind strangers who reached out, offered support, and stuck with me through this ridiculous nightmare of a saga cuz i still can’t ebelive this is even my life some days.

This will hopefully be my actual final update and despite a few stressful developments, things are looking up!

First, quick note: I’ve been calling my best friend “Mabel” in these posts because of our shared obsession with Gravity Falls. It started as a joke, but honestly? It fits. She’s bright, a little chaotic, and full of love. So yeah, “Mabel” she shall remain. 🙂
(She loves it and has been reading these so now Opal and Mabel have become my “guy in the chair” lol)

I’m still staying with Mabel and her incredible family (Zelda (her mom), Kaiden (dad), and her sister Opal). They’ve taken me in no questions asked and somehow made me feel more like family in these days than my ex did in a whole year.

While I haven’t found a job yet (ugh, job hunting is FREAKING BRUTAL), I’ve taken on kind of a homemaker role in the meantime but not like before. With Caleb it felt like being a maid who couldn’t do anything right. Here? It feels like contributing to a team. Like family. I garden with Zelda, help groom the family’s 3 adorable dogs (who I’m obsessed with AND ONE IS NOW OBSESSED WITH MEEEEEEE! 🥰), and I’ve even started cooking a bit again.

Opal volunteers at an animal shelter, and she just got me signed up to join her. I start next week! I’m excited and nervous but I think being around animals again will help me heal. She’s also offered to help me adopt again someday, when I’m ready and in my own space Just thinking about that fills me with a warm little hope I hadn’t felt in a long time

I also studied like mad and passed the entrance exam for a tech bootcamp. I start in a week! It’s been hard, SO HARD, and while software engineering is a beast, I’m aiming to build up UX/UI skills with a stretch goal of getting into project or program management. I am open to suggestions however as we are not given track options until next month!

Kaiden and Zelda have fully covered the tuition (🥹 still crying) and the only thing they expect from me is to do my best. The program has a part time option in case I land a job midway which I’m still hoping for. Right now, I’m even applying to part time roles just to get back on my feet.

Kaiden keeps reminding me: “We’re in no rush to be rid of you.” I may or may not cry every time he says that.

Okay. The stressful part.

Caleb messaged me again. 🙃 He said the party was a joke? Some stupid TikTok “empty nest” trend(?) and even sent me a video clip showing me walking in and out of the room. You can hear one guy mutter, “that didn’t go well” and Caleb reply, “yeah sorry. I’m going to get it.” As if I would’ve yelled or lost it (when in reality I was quietly heartbroken and stunned and if he knew anything about me he would know that).

I left him on read. I’ve also disabled all location sharing and only go out with Mabel to places Caleb doesn’t know. I’m being very careful.

Then… Caleb’s mom Cassie reached out again.

Cassie let me know that Caleb has been actively looking for me. She’s told him to leave me alone, but he keeps saying he’s “heartbroken,” “messed up big,” and “misses me.”

Cassie and her husband have now made therapy a requirement if he wants to continue living rent-free in their house. He says he’ll go. We’ll see – not really my problem anymore.i guess. Cassie told him very clearly that he is not to contact me under any circumstances unless I reach out first. She also told me to call her immediately if he does try to reach out or harass me in any way again. (This was after he reached out last but i did tell her about it)

I’m still anxious. I’m still grieving. I’m still tired pretty much everyday all day. I think it’s just the stress.

But for the first time in a long time, I feel safe. I take long naps. I breathe deeper. I laugh more. I feel… somewhat human again.

I know healing isn’t linear at least tjats wjat Zelda keeps telling me, and this job market is kicking my butt, but I have people around me who actually care. I have a path forward. And even though I’m scared, I’m walking it.

Thank you, Reddit, for reminding me I wasn’t crazy, for validating my pain, and for cheering me on. I can’t reply to all the messages but I hope this answers the questions. I won’t update unless something drastic happens.

• Vera