FINAL UPDATE: In-laws straining my marriage

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Hello reddit, I’m back with a final update date! Please refer to previous posts if needed for events that lead up to today.

Recap: I’m a working mother of 2 young children and my BIL moved in for a year that was only supposed to be for a couple of months. Also moved in his GF, she didn’t have a job for months afterwards. My health severly declined from constant stress and anxiety of wanting them to leave. Husband got hostile any time I brought up them needing to go. AITAH?

They are out! Moved out about a month ago. Life as I know it is getting back to normal again. My husband got the message with the divorce papers, we have since been having way more open communication and I have decided to hold off proceeding with divorce atm to see if there is anything worth saving in this relationship. I have since had some more health issues come up that I am going through a couple of procedures for next week and that has been my main focus for the last couple of weeks, hence the no reply for a while. I appreciate all the support and advice from everyone, I am taking every day still here on this earth as a blessing. Especially now that I have peace in my home and can sit back and breathe.

I have also had the conversation with my husband about if he actually cares enough about me to stay with me through my procedures/possible diagnosis because I DO NOT want to live what could be my possible last days with someone who isn’t there physically, emotionally and mentally. He has taken off work next week to take care of me throughout it all and I’m just going to go from there.

Comments

  1. Mysterious_Book8747 Avatar

    Good for you! It will be easier to recover in peace. 🙂 I hate that it took such drastic action for him to finally listen but I’m glad you were willing to go to that point to make him listen to you.

  2. MistakeConfident2588 Avatar

    Good on you girl! I kicked my bil out years ago – best thing that happened to him. And us.

  3. Zanke95 Avatar

    Hope you two manages to work through all this so that you can get the support and love you deserve.
    Good luck with everything

  4. Salt-Wave-1742 Avatar

    Bro, gotta say, mad props to you for keeping it 100 and laying down the law. Your casa, your rules. Health and peace of mind over everything else, fam. Divorce papers were a bold move but looks like it was the wakeup call your hubby needed. Prayers for a swift recovery and better days ahead! 🙏 Never easy but mad respect for your strength. 👏

  5. Aegon2050 Avatar

    Good Luck with the procedures! I hope they go well. Good riddance on the BIL!

  6. sunny_suburbia Avatar

    I wish you all the best with your health challenges. Glad your man will support you through this.

  7. bionicdaughter Avatar

    Prayers for a complete recovery in health and life.

  8. Lotty3 Avatar

    Good luck. I hope all goes well with the procedures, thinking of you xx

  9. ChiccyNuggie20 Avatar

    Reading your past posts, your husband deserves to be divorced….the mad disrespect towards the person that brought his children onto this world is insane. You risked your overall health, got even more stressed, and you progressively deteriorated into a bad mental space and now are having medical procedures. With the track record he’s showing he’ll yell at you while in hospital all frustrated and shit because he’s a man child and use it against you that “now he’s there, why can’t you just be happy?” He deserves to be kicked to the curb permanently. I know relationships and marriages aren’t as easy as Reddit paints them to be and divorce isn’t the solution in every case …but come on you seem of sound mind. He’s an awful person.

  10. FlygonosK Avatar

    Glad that things have come to normal and you regain your normal life and your house.

    Sad that you are going thru these health issues.

    Hope everything goes well with the procedures and that you recover well.

    Good luck.

    Also please at least update us one more time about your health just to know if things went well and keep sending you prayers.

  11. HelpfulPersimmon6146 Avatar

    Praying for heeling for you.

  12. Secret_Double_9239 Avatar

    NTA don’t hold off on the divorce. He is only changing his behaviour now because he wants to get his own way, he’s done this before.

  13. Razszberry Avatar

    Wishing you healing, op. Your husband showed his true colors and how little he cares about you unless he’s about to lose the benefit of having you around. That is hard to come back from and many couples do not. He needs to make a lasting change not just a change long enough to placate you. Best of luck.

  14. MommaKim661 Avatar

    We still dont know how he’s gonna act with your health, ans if he’s actually changed. Keep the papers handy and updateme with what happens over the next few weeks