FINAL UPDATE: My MIL asked my husband to subscribe to her only fans to support her

My husband and I have spoken with therapists about the entire situation, and we’ve drawn a conclusion to how we will handle things.

As advised by our therapist, and based on what we’ve planned ourselves, my MIL will be cut off until she does the self work and is no longer overly sexual towards family. That being said, my husband and I are prepared for her to be cut off permanently. She will likely not attend therapy herself, as she sees it as unimportant. I’m not sure if her opinion comes from her visiting a therapist previously, but she does believe that “therapists just tell you everything wrong with yourself and why you need to change. They don’t actually try to help your mental health, just make it worse.” I’m sure everyone can imagine what has caused her to draw those conclusions.

As of now, husband and I will not be pushing legal action. We’ve decided that for us, at this time, we would prefer to lay down the law in what we feel comfortable with. If that is respected, that is great and nothing more will come of it on our end. If that isn’t respected, and there are more attempts to reach us such creating accounts etc., we will most likely seek out a restraining order. As I mentioned in a previous update, I have saved the screenshots from the original issue, so we will have that to present if needed.

Onto family. As a reminder, husband’s side of the family was blowing up our phones asking why we would block MIL. What MIL told them was that we blocked her after she simply asked for our support in the things she’s doing. What they didn’t know was that she sent photos of herself. We told them, didn’t send the photos of course, but did describe them. Things were understood quickly and nothing more was said. I don’t know if family has taken it upon themselves to confront MIL about this. If they have, great, she needs it. If they haven’t, oh well.

Now, from my own perspective. I was raised in a family where everything was very taboo. Sex, sexuality, our bodies, even our periods were difficult to talk about. So much so, that when my mom found out I had a crush on a boy when I was 13, I cried and profusely apologized because I thought I would be in a lot of trouble. Asking questions wasn’t ok either, so when I did have questions, I couldn’t simply ask. For example, I overheard my mom say the word porn and didn’t know what it meant. When I asked my parents what the word “porn” was, and I got sent to my room. So, at 7 years old, I grabbed the family tablet and googled “porn.” Saw a bunch of naked people, got scared, put the ipad back in the living room. When my parents checked the search history that night, I was screamed at and not allowed to touch electronics for the rest of the year. With all of that in mind, a sex positive family was so incredibly foreign to me. The idea of being able to go to your mom, ask about sex or your body, and have a conversation instead of getting in trouble, was completely new. When my husband and I were dating, I never knew that his mom was going to far. I thought that this simply was sex positivity. Of course, I had intuition that things went to far at times, like when I questioned the toy conversation, but when the response to my questions were “she’s just really open”, I chalked it up to that and didn’t really question it anymore.

To answer some common questions. My MIL is not THIS much when it comes to my SILs. I always assumed it was because they were younger, but the pictures being sent to only my husband really hammered the nail into the “covert incest” coffin. Come to find out, MIL also isn’t quite as open with SILs. She is open about her own doings, but doesn’t medal in their own like she did my husband. I mentioned before that she would question my husband on our sex life when we were dating. Another phone call with my middle SIL revealed that she’s absolutely never done that to the girls. In fact, there have been times where she’s over heard my SILs saying something about their boyfriends, and she would say “egh! Lower your voice, I don’t wanna know!” Where as she would straight up ask my husband about sex.

Another common question was “where’s FIL?” He’s never been in the picture. My husbands dad left when MIL was pregnant with her youngest daughter. MIL also doesn’t have a father herself because he left when she was a baby. And, there aren’t a lot of men in the family. 2 distant uncles, and a few cousins, but as far as close family, my husband was the only male growing up. And yes, some people got it right. My husband looks EXACTLY like his bio dad. Same build, same hair type and color, same bone structure, same eye shape, even a very similar birth mark. That fact makes this even more gross all together.

And finally, no we don’t have children. However, I have always had concerns about leaving children alone with her because of the openness. I will know when my future children are ready to know about certain topics, those conversations will come from my husband and I and ONLY us. I’ve always been concerned that MIL would discard our opinions on that and give our future children the “bird and bees” talk whenever she felt like. Unless she cannot fix whatever is wrong in her brain, she will not ever be alone with our kids, and even possibly know them.

But over all, this is my final in the whole situation. The original post was removed in this sub, so it’s been reposted on my personal page for those interested in reading. I’ll remain active on this account to answer questions, so if any other questions arise, ask away and I would be happy to answer. Thank you so much to everyone for all of the advice. I didn’t even know the term “convert incest” before posting, and I’m grateful that I do now. It’s given my husband and I something to do a little research about, and it’s changed our perspective on the past quite a bit. My husband will be taking all of this into therapy more than just his last sessions, and at my next personal session I will likely bring it up too. It’s also a topic that will be discussed at counseling together, more than just yesterday’s session as well. Again, thank you everyone.