Topic Tw- kink.
I (20F) had my partner (26m) move in with me back in September. We’ve had a great relationship really he treats me great but he hid this from me knowing it might be a deal breaker but due to how happy I was and am with him is making this decision hard. We have been together over a year at this point and about 1 month into living together he came out and told me about his diaper kink(it’s been about 7 months since then) I’m not okay with it, I don’t hate him for it or see him any differently. But it’s not my cup of tea and idk it makes me feel weird about having kids with him too(we don’t have any but I want some and so does he in the future)
I love him but I dislike that kink and I don’t think it’s fair to him to be in a relationship where he’s not allowed to enjoy or interact with that. But it’s also not fair to me to allow him to do something around me I’m uncomfortable with in the way I am. .
We are going to try couples therapy, but I do think this is something that he just can’t kick since it’s recently been on his mind more than normal and he’s been very open about it to me now. He also agrees if we can’t fix it we should seek other people.
Is there hope? Has anyone else ever been in this type of scenario??? I wish I understood it and him better but I just don’t. It’s rough being so so happy with him but then knowing either he’s gonna be feeling unfulfilled in our relationship or I’m gonna feel on my toes worried he’s getting satisfaction for his kink elsewhere if that’s makes sense.
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It’s great that you’re considering couples therapy; it can help you both navigate this complex situation. Open communication and professional guidance are key. If you both remain honest and respectful of each other’s boundaries, there’s hope for finding a compromise or understanding whether staying together is the best option.
Wait a sec… so, he purposedly hid that from you BEFORE you two moved in together and after it, he was like ‘surprise, surprise, I have a kink, I purposedly suppressed for the entirety of our relationship, but NOW that you are here (and can’t leave that easily) I am showing you that this is part of my life reality and you have to accept this???
WHAT???
No accident he sprung this on you once he had you on the hook. Most likely manipulation right there.
I dont see how a diaper kink would work for you and im not sure whos meant to wear them. If its him theres probably less issue about kids but can you still see him as manly? If its you he wants in them, gtfo, he should not be near children.
That is called bait-and-switch, coercion, and manipulation. He deliberately waited to tell you until you were financially and socially invested, so it would be too difficult for you to walk away.
DTMFA.
Don’t have kids with him
What’s the actual kink in practical terms ? Has he asked you to do x, y, and z ?
Do we really think this kink needs to be meet for the sake of his happiness ?
I dunno, not all my kinks are getting met, but they’ll just remain kinks.
So yea. An ex had a baby fetish. Like diapers, bottles, baby food, baby talk.. all of it.
I couldn’t do it. I did try. But I just couldn’t. It’s not the reason we broke up; I told him to keep it away from me. We broke up because he’s super psycho.
Last I heard he moved, got married, and is living like a literal baby.. strollers and diapers and all of it.
No matter the kink,if you are not into it,not a 100% sure you want it…this is not for you. And he should have told you before living together, he did it on porpose to get you trapped. Girl this man is not for you,and you know it
Why do they never have kinks that involve rubbing my feet every night after work?
Unpopular opinion: this is not a kink. This is a psychological issue stemming from his childhood… and also he’s choosing to date a girl much younger than him ( it’s a big difference at this age) tells you a lot about the type of person he is.
You’ve got a bit of a double whammy there. Not just a secret kink, but also a kink that’s generally less known, and not exactly glamorous. It sounds like he’s into what’s known as “age play” which you can some research on. The more common or popular type of age play seem to be the little girl and daddy or naughty school girl/boy and teacher etc type scenarios.
Couples therapy is a positive step, however it may be also about your boyfriend doing some deeper work on his own to explore how important living out his kink is, and whether there’s ways to do it that won’t impact the relationship.
You may need to think about how open you are towards exploring other kinks down the track if your relationship continues. Is he someone who’ll want to try new things? Are you more vanilla?
Each of which are fine. It’s just about working out sexual compatibility.
https://freebooksmania.com/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that-pdf-free-download-by-lundy-bancroft.html
You might want to post on r/BDSMadvice too