I honestly feel like I won’t find a better partner. Gorgeous, loyal, same goals in life, we have so much fun together, friends/family are aligned, and we’re so excited for the rest of our lives together. We’re 2 years into our relationship, not engaged or married yet, but have gone ring shopping and I do want to marry her and get started on the next stages of life.
But there’s one thing just weighing on me, and it’s the sex. When we have it, I love it and I feel so connected to my partner. We’ve had weeks where we have sex 3-4 times, and there’s such a strong bond between us that makes me feel so content with life and where it’s headed. But at the same time, we’ll also go 1-2 weeks without it and she won’t seem bothered. Is it the best sex I’ve had? No, I’ve been with partners who have been so open to sexting, talking about sex, body type more aligned with what my type is, etc. My current partner just isn’t as open to talking about it, being playful, etc. But aside from the sex, she is better in every other way.
For those who have had better sex in other relationships, what was the reason for you breaking up? For those still together that feel like you are aligned/connected on sex, what are other issues in your relationships? I honestly feel like sex is the most important thing in a relationship, because they just seem to be the happiest ones. Though I totally recognize that I may need to level my expectations and realize that I can’t “have it all” so to speak, I do feel like I’m at the point in my life where I deserve great sex, and hearing a woman’s perspective on this would be super valuable too.
TLDR: feeling that sex could be better elsewhere and feeling guilty that it’s such an important thing to me considering that so many other elements of my relationship are 10/10
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Sexual compatibility is hugely important in a relationship. Realistically after marriage and kids if you want them, you’re only going to have less sex than now. If you can’t even discuss this with your partner, it’s not going to improve. Try talking to her and if there’s no changes, you may need to decide you’re not compatible
If you feel like sex is the most important thing in a relationship then you are not ready to be a husband or a boyfriend. Let her go find someone better and you go find someone who meets your sexual needs.
One day you’re gonna be old with an ED and your wife has gone through menopause and probably lost her sex drive for good and all you’ll have is the life you’ve built together, a partner to talk to, kids and grandkids to raise in a loving family. I personally think those things are more important than people’s pleasure. You should focus on what good you can leave for your family and for the world when you’re gone and choose a good partner to make the world a better place with.