Everyone loses in life. That’s how you become a winner. You lose, learn, and come back better prepared. Just don’t repeat the same mistake too many times
The only other choice was giving up and dying, which wasn’t an option to me. Even though I had nothing at all going for me in my life, if I had done myself in it would have devastated my parents to the point that they’d have never recovered. That was the sole reason I stuck it out.
Eventually I got into therapy and things were able to be turned around as I dealt with the mental health issues I was experiencing (mainly PTSD).
I’m a recovering alcoholic. I’m coming back from it thanks to a lot of support and kindness from my family and my partner. I also found building a routine, doing fitness, and looking into philosophy helpful.
Personally, I get a lot of strength from having a plan. For example, I’ll build a little regimen of supplements I’ll take each day. I’ll plot out my exercise routine for the week. I’ll write down a list of topics I want to learn about.
I won’t always stick religiously to the list, but acting with intention gives me reassurance that I’m making progress.
It took time, but I hit rock bottom. $20k credit card debt, living paycheque to paycheque, $3k behind my car payment, and super out of shape. It’s been 4 years since and I’m doing a lot better. I’ll be finished paying off my debt next year and my car payments will be done in 3
Years.
I just had to get shit done. Took charge of my life and quit smoking weed. Cut out all the junk food and made sure I did something productive each day. Just took things slow, didn’t do it all at once. As long as you’re at least taking micro steps, you’re improving each day.
Okay this one I can answer…. I was pretty lost in life. I was like.. 31 years old. I had no job, I had been looking for a job for over a year and just kept getting rejection after rejection… I was depressed, I was overweight. Probably about 35% body fat. I was single.. I hadn’t had sex in about 3 years. All my family had moved overseas, so I was the only one left. I was broke. I’d lost most of my friends. I was a loser. I had no prospects, no hope, nothing. The only thing I owned was a shitty old European car that needed a lot of money spent on it to fix it up.
I was pretty suicidal, I was actively thinking about how to end my life and making plans.. it was coming up to Christmas and I was due to visit my mom in another country. I had decided that I’d do it when I got home from my visit, I’d go in my garage and use the old exhaust trick in my car and end things that way.
Anyways, I had applied for this job at a streaming company, just doing customer service. The interview ended up being the week before Christmas, so I did the interview and then I went over to visit my mum.
The interview was actually really interesting and the job seemed like something I would actually find interesting and could get engaged in, not soul-crushing and boring like a lot of my previous jobs.
So I decided, if I could just get accepted into this job, I would give life one more go…
I managed to get the job, they actually called me before I got home from my trip to let me know.. which was good because I was actually assuming I didn’t get it, and my intent was to carry out my plan when I got home.
It was a decent job.. I started a couple of weeks into the new year.. I worked there for about 6 months before I actually applied for and got a promotion at another company.
Long story short, about 12 years later, I make a six figure income, I run my own business, I’m very happily married, I’m not fat anymore.. I actually have abs now. I exercise 5-6 times a week. I’m about to buy my first property and I genuinely have a lot I think I can be optimistic for.
I do think often back to those times, when I was at my lowest low.. I look at how far I’ve come.. I think about how hopeless everything looked from that vantage point.. if I can come back from that, then anything is possible.
The hard thing about it is, even now, after going through all that… I don’t know what words I would have used to go and ‘comfort’ the person I was back then to help them realise their was a way forward.. when you are in a position like that, it’s very difficult to be helped.. you really have to help yourself.. well at least that was my experience anyway.
As for how I did it? Well, without writing a giant essay, I would say I just looked for opportunities. EG I got that job at the streaming company, I could have just stayed there, but instead I looked to build on getting that job and use it to move into other positions. I kept doing the same thing. I am always looking for opportunities that I can use to better my position in life.
It’s cliche, but never give up.Get back on that saddle and keep riding partner… It’s Not over until it’s over. And then you realize it’s just beginning because You don’t die where eternal beings with a soul
1 thing I heard that always stuck with me is that rock bottom isn’t the worst thing in life. the worst thing in life is climbing out of rock bottom and having to come back down to it.
So from that point on I was all about 1. not wasting any opportunities that came my way. and 2, covering my bases against as many worst case scenarios as I can think of so I don’t get blindsided.
so like… one thing that’s helped me a lot when I feel all messed up in my head is this weird little thing I do called “room of selves.”
basically, I just sit in silence for a bit. no phone. just me. and then I imagine there’s like this house in my mind with a bunch of rooms. each room has a different “me” in it. like one room has the sad me. another one’s got the super angry me. sometimes it’s the tired one or the me that just wants to give up. whatever I’m feeling at the time.
sometimes I draw the rooms on paper and label them. doesn’t have to be perfect, just scribbles.
then I pick one room to go into in my imagination. I walk in and just look around at what that version of me is doing. sometimes they’re just curled up. sometimes yelling. sometimes staring at a wall doing nothing. I don’t talk to them or try to fix them. I just watch, like I’m some kind of outsider or alien or something. just being there.
some rooms are scary. like, I wanna leave right away. but if I can just stay and sit and not run out, things kinda… soften a little. I feel less afraid. sometimes I go back to the same room a few days in a row and eventually it doesn’t feel as bad.
it’s not magic or anything but it really helps.
I feel like before I can really get along with other people, I gotta learn how to sit with my own self first. like, be my own friend. this little mind trick helps me do that.
Comments
Reverse Uno card.
I will let you know once I come back from losing.
That’s a large answer for anyone’s “lost” could be anything.
But lost a grandparent whom I was very close to, a multi-year relationship, and a job in 6 months. I just kinda…kept going on.
Got into better physical health, wandered into a new job, and just trying to be a nice person. Loss hits hard, jobs are jobs.
TLDR – one fucking step at a time, one day at a time.
I haven’t
Everyone loses in life. That’s how you become a winner. You lose, learn, and come back better prepared. Just don’t repeat the same mistake too many times
Those people probably aren’t on here reading posts.
joined the army
The only other choice was giving up and dying, which wasn’t an option to me. Even though I had nothing at all going for me in my life, if I had done myself in it would have devastated my parents to the point that they’d have never recovered. That was the sole reason I stuck it out.
Eventually I got into therapy and things were able to be turned around as I dealt with the mental health issues I was experiencing (mainly PTSD).
I’m a recovering alcoholic. I’m coming back from it thanks to a lot of support and kindness from my family and my partner. I also found building a routine, doing fitness, and looking into philosophy helpful.
Personally, I get a lot of strength from having a plan. For example, I’ll build a little regimen of supplements I’ll take each day. I’ll plot out my exercise routine for the week. I’ll write down a list of topics I want to learn about.
I won’t always stick religiously to the list, but acting with intention gives me reassurance that I’m making progress.
It took time, but I hit rock bottom. $20k credit card debt, living paycheque to paycheque, $3k behind my car payment, and super out of shape. It’s been 4 years since and I’m doing a lot better. I’ll be finished paying off my debt next year and my car payments will be done in 3
Years.
I just had to get shit done. Took charge of my life and quit smoking weed. Cut out all the junk food and made sure I did something productive each day. Just took things slow, didn’t do it all at once. As long as you’re at least taking micro steps, you’re improving each day.
Every loss is a lesson
Life is full of losing. The only way to win is to run after the only thing that can save us from life… Jesus.
Okay this one I can answer…. I was pretty lost in life. I was like.. 31 years old. I had no job, I had been looking for a job for over a year and just kept getting rejection after rejection… I was depressed, I was overweight. Probably about 35% body fat. I was single.. I hadn’t had sex in about 3 years. All my family had moved overseas, so I was the only one left. I was broke. I’d lost most of my friends. I was a loser. I had no prospects, no hope, nothing. The only thing I owned was a shitty old European car that needed a lot of money spent on it to fix it up.
I was pretty suicidal, I was actively thinking about how to end my life and making plans.. it was coming up to Christmas and I was due to visit my mom in another country. I had decided that I’d do it when I got home from my visit, I’d go in my garage and use the old exhaust trick in my car and end things that way.
Anyways, I had applied for this job at a streaming company, just doing customer service. The interview ended up being the week before Christmas, so I did the interview and then I went over to visit my mum.
The interview was actually really interesting and the job seemed like something I would actually find interesting and could get engaged in, not soul-crushing and boring like a lot of my previous jobs.
So I decided, if I could just get accepted into this job, I would give life one more go…
I managed to get the job, they actually called me before I got home from my trip to let me know.. which was good because I was actually assuming I didn’t get it, and my intent was to carry out my plan when I got home.
It was a decent job.. I started a couple of weeks into the new year.. I worked there for about 6 months before I actually applied for and got a promotion at another company.
Long story short, about 12 years later, I make a six figure income, I run my own business, I’m very happily married, I’m not fat anymore.. I actually have abs now. I exercise 5-6 times a week. I’m about to buy my first property and I genuinely have a lot I think I can be optimistic for.
I do think often back to those times, when I was at my lowest low.. I look at how far I’ve come.. I think about how hopeless everything looked from that vantage point.. if I can come back from that, then anything is possible.
The hard thing about it is, even now, after going through all that… I don’t know what words I would have used to go and ‘comfort’ the person I was back then to help them realise their was a way forward.. when you are in a position like that, it’s very difficult to be helped.. you really have to help yourself.. well at least that was my experience anyway.
As for how I did it? Well, without writing a giant essay, I would say I just looked for opportunities. EG I got that job at the streaming company, I could have just stayed there, but instead I looked to build on getting that job and use it to move into other positions. I kept doing the same thing. I am always looking for opportunities that I can use to better my position in life.
It’s cliche, but never give up.Get back on that saddle and keep riding partner… It’s Not over until it’s over. And then you realize it’s just beginning because You don’t die where eternal beings with a soul
1 thing I heard that always stuck with me is that rock bottom isn’t the worst thing in life. the worst thing in life is climbing out of rock bottom and having to come back down to it.
So from that point on I was all about 1. not wasting any opportunities that came my way. and 2, covering my bases against as many worst case scenarios as I can think of so I don’t get blindsided.
I sold all stocks related to the US and invested on countries with serious governments…
so like… one thing that’s helped me a lot when I feel all messed up in my head is this weird little thing I do called “room of selves.”
basically, I just sit in silence for a bit. no phone. just me. and then I imagine there’s like this house in my mind with a bunch of rooms. each room has a different “me” in it. like one room has the sad me. another one’s got the super angry me. sometimes it’s the tired one or the me that just wants to give up. whatever I’m feeling at the time.
sometimes I draw the rooms on paper and label them. doesn’t have to be perfect, just scribbles.
then I pick one room to go into in my imagination. I walk in and just look around at what that version of me is doing. sometimes they’re just curled up. sometimes yelling. sometimes staring at a wall doing nothing. I don’t talk to them or try to fix them. I just watch, like I’m some kind of outsider or alien or something. just being there.
some rooms are scary. like, I wanna leave right away. but if I can just stay and sit and not run out, things kinda… soften a little. I feel less afraid. sometimes I go back to the same room a few days in a row and eventually it doesn’t feel as bad.
it’s not magic or anything but it really helps.
I feel like before I can really get along with other people, I gotta learn how to sit with my own self first. like, be my own friend. this little mind trick helps me do that.