For those who take weeks or months to reply to their friends

r/

Do you have an expectation for them to continue keeping up the conversation, or do you hope that the conversation dies out?

I ask this honestly, as I have a very close friend that I love but currently struggle with. I know she has difficulties communicating over text, so I actually avoid that and wait until she’s good to respond or when the stars align and I can see her.

When she’s feeling good, she sends me a series of texts, like 15 separate texts – about her weekend, asking me about my weekend, questions about my life, updates, etc. I get very happy to hear from her, so I respond. But then she’ll take two weeks or more to respond to my series of texts, or she will drop the conversation completely and never respond.

I’ve already told her to not feel pressured to keep up conversation if it’s difficult for her, but she pushes and says she does want to talk and that she just goes through a lot of difficult emotions that make her stop responding suddenly. I’m struggling emotionally with this, cause I get so happy to hear from her, and when I finally respond to each of her msgs and hear crickets.. I do feel hurt. So lately I just try to shorten my responses or avoid talking about my life, so it’s easier for her to get back to me.

I never expect a “quick” response from her as I can also be a slow texter too. Just, how do I just detach myself from this emotionally and care less about not being responded to by a close friend?

Comments

  1. Agreeable-Juice6982 Avatar

    Life gets in way sometimes

  2. marxam0d Avatar

    Some of each, honestly. I have a few people I miss and some I’d be fine never speaking to again. I think that’s how I can be sure for myself that it’s pathological and not a lack of desire.

  3. hauteburrrito Avatar

    I can’t be close friends with people like that. I get that they have struggles, but I just require more from my actual close friendships. I mentally/emotionally lower my expectations of and friendship “level” with them and that’s the only way I can really eke it.

    Sorry you’re dealing with this, though, OP. It’s tough for them but tough for us, too!