This ain’t the first time this happened. When we first moved into our first apartment one 3 years ago I found his reddit and it had the same thing but it wasn’t asking to talk or meet up with people just comments about someone’s appearance. He promised it would never happen again. He had another reddit account he’s used since then which I looked at once in a while and it was always innocent. I noticed a few weeks ago that his account was deactivated and he told me he deleted Reddit. Tonight I saw him scrolling and when he fell asleep I checked his phone to find his new account. The things on there including a post which I could only see the title of asking if anyone else wished their gf was more “colorful” I can’t cope. I’ve been non stop replying to some comments pouring my heart out because I don’t know what to do. He’s trying to sext with people in our area and talking about how he wants more than just me. We’re in our mid 20s and have been together for 7 years. He’s sleeping in bed I’m going to be up all night trying to figure my life out. I don’t know what to do. I genuinely want to die right now. I don’t know what to do. I wrapped my life around him for 7 years. I can’t do this please someone help I don’t know who to talk to. I don’t know what I’m going to do about work tomorrow. I’m not sleeping. I don’t know what to do. I feel like my world is gone. I don’t know what to do.
Edit: yeah just looked through his Reddit dms and it’s over. He talked to a lot of other people about him doing sexual thing with women but never once mentioned that he has been in a relationship for 7 years. Also one person he offered to pay for pics so yeah. Also I’m going to be deleting this post since he has my reddit. I blocked my self on his account but still. Thanks for all your comments they’re really helping me calm down!
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I’d wake his ass up and talk to him about it. You don’t have to be worried and sick and not sleeping because of his actions. Talk to him about it.
Mid 20s and 7 years is impressive! You committed, no question, and I hope the relationship mostly brought you joy and mutual growth.
Don’t let it get to 8 years.
Do nothing for now. Act as if everything is normal. Gather your composure. Slowly plan your getaway. You need time to arrange an alternative space to live in. When ready, just leave him and never contact him again. You will find someone who appreciates you for you.
First of all, sorry this is happening to you. Breathe. Everything will be ok
Secondly, pull yourself together. Your boyfriend ain’t shit and is getting away with this shit because you let him. That stops. Now. Love yourself because he clearly doesn’t, put yourself first and kick his ass to the curb. He’s a waste of space who doesn’t like you. Sorry if that’s harsh but he doesn’t
7 years is better than 7 years and one day
Don’t confront him. Don’t let him know you know. Get all your money, get everything squared away. TAKE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. Don’t let him guilt you, try to lie his way out of this. Get ready to leave.
You deserve so much better.
Your world is not gone. You are complete without him. He has lied to you and deceived you. He is not the man you thought he was. You do know what to do, he needs to go. Please believe in your own worthiness and give yourself a hug, you deserve it. What you do not deserve is a lying liar.
you know what to do. gtfo. without knowing you I can say, you deserve better than someone who lies to you, complains about your color, and sexts other people (or worse). you know why? cause nobody deserves that if they haven’t been doing equally shady shit. and if you’re both doing shady shit, break up already!!
I know it’s tough when your lives are wrapped together. but you either do it now, or accept lower and lower standards of how people can treat you. do you want to waste more time trying to fix a person that isn’t committed?
I’m sure he, like you, appreciates the convenience and stability of staying in the relationship and will make at least some effort to salvage things. if you want to forgive him, that’s your choice. but just know that you shouldn’t have to raise hell or threaten to leave to get him to NOT sext other people. there is a better man out there waiting for you after you leave him and take some time to recover. you don’t need to settle for him.
good luck!
I know this is a lot, but what you need to do first is to ground yourself, which I know is way easier said than done. Please do not make yourself have a panic attack or do anything reckless. Don’t make rash decisions, try to breathe.
After you have calmed down enough to properly think, you need to figure out what you want to do.
You can talk to him about it and evaluate based on his reaction (which, if you feel unsafe about doing that, please think twice about this, I’m saying this because I don’t know if your partner may be abusive or not)
If you feel unsafe, you should figure out a safe escape plan during the coming weeks/months on how to best leave him. Make sure you have a place where you can safely stay (family member/friends he doesn’t know about, for example) money that he can’t access, etc. Once you got everything figured out, leave when he’s not at home and don’t look back. Make absolutely sure you have a safety net to fall back on
I’m super sorry about this, you don’t deserve this treatment
If he wants out, he wants out.
I suspect you’ve both grown in 7 years, and it sounds like it was in opposite directions. No shame in that.
Make your exit plan now, while you have time and stability.
You pick yourself up, and you start making an exit plan.
Anything less than leaving him will leave you wasting more and more years on someone who cannot or will not love you in the way you deserve.
He is a liar. Do not fall for his bs, do not fall for his excuses, or his manipulation.
He’s a liar.
A lying liar who lies.
Yes this sucks and will be hard for a little while.
But, you are so very young and about to be free of a bad boyfriend.
Leave him today and be proud of yourself. You are going to kick butt.
(I didn’t have my first kiss until 24, and I’ve had a wonderful dating life and much later a wonderful married life. From mid-20s on is going to be great.)
Just had a squiz at his history, makes a mention of sniffing underwear out of “the family hamper”. 🤢
Cut him loose.
Your ex-bf’s account is gross af. Good on you for leaving, and don’t ever look back. Find someone who actually respects you.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, he’s shown you who he is. You deserve to be loved and prioritized and that’s not what he’s giving you. I know everything sucks right now but it’ll get better. You need to start making a plan for ending the relationship, you deserve far better and he won’t give you what you deserve. It’s better to end it after 7 years than stay longer with someone who doesn’t respect you.
” mid 20s and have been together for 7 years”
Aren’t you tired? I wouldn’t go back to my 20’s for a million dollars because this dramatic shit is some of the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.
He doesn’t want to be with you no matter what he says to your face.
He is already sleeping with other people.
You have the choice to stay and put up with more of this behavior or leave.