I don’t know how this app really works but i need help. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. We’re both autistic, but i’m more developed i guess I should say. He’s basically a 15 year old in a 23 year olds body. He has never given the impression that he’s a cheater, he’s sweet, he’s not as romantic because of his disability and that’s fine, i love him the way he his. 4 days ago while he was sleeping, i went through his xbox messages to see the memes he sends his friends. I came across this one guy who asked my boyfriend how he felt about a 16 year old (when he was 21) and his response was “She’s cool and a great friend and that’s all, any concerns?” and i knew from the way he worded that, something was fishy so i kept looking. Then I saw a blocked account where the girl was harassing him every few months and one of the messages said “Are we still ___ when i turn 18?” and my heart dropped. i kept scrolling and found out before she harassed him, they had a relationship for 2 months. He talked about kissing her, doing things with her, meeting her, marrying her.. and before you guys say “autistic men don’t know better” he told her he knew the age gap was an issue but continued. For a few hours after I saw those texts, i was in shock and didn’t bring it up to him until 2am and told him why i was acting like that. He lied to me for 3 hours saying he was forced to be in that relationship and that she’s the monster. A day later after we calmed down, he admitted that he dated her because he was lonely and desperate and that he completely regrets it. He said he became a shut in until he met me. He says I took away that pain. I guess I believe him, but ever since that day the messages I read are replaying in my head. The fact he wanted a minor sexually, that fact he knew it was wrong, the fact we both work together with minors and they probably aren’t safe around him, it’s draining me mentally and i need help. Is there a chance he’s grown in 2 years when he was already an adult? Could he have changed? I’m not ready to leave him.
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Wtf did you just make me read…?
First of I think you’d have to process all the information and stuff that’s happened, and see if you can go forward or not in the relationship. Given your initial feelings I don’t see how the relationship could move forward especially when you have those concerns regarding minors.
I know people will say he was waiting until they were 18 but he was still essentially grooming a younger person when they were 16. I get man can be lonely (hell I use to be one of those) but it doesn’t excuse his behaviour, nor does being Autistic like you said…
As to your question of has he changed? It’s possible, but I think the question is now, with all the information you have, is this a relationship you want to continue?
>My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year.
> I should say. He’s basically a 15 year old in a 23 year olds body.
What the hell…
He wasn’t successful in making her the bad guy, so he came up with a different story to make you feel sorry for him instead. He knew, he’s a predator
N that was only his xbox messages… I’m sure he’s cleaned house everywhere else by now tho