I (27f) stumbled upon my boyfriends (24m) previous subscriptions when he logged in my ipad. He had multiple dating apps there with subscriptions that ended right before we got together, Tinder, Hinge, and Grindr.. I have some trauma from a past relationship where I was dating a DL guy who cheated on me with multiple men.. anyways, I asked him why he had a Grindr if he claims to be 100% straight when we talked about our sexual orientations. Im bisexual and wouldn’t have minded if he was too. He brushed it off at first as if it was no big deal (he knows about my past trauma). I pushed further because I felt like I had been lied to, and he finally said that he made it because before we got together he was interested in couples, but insists that he has no interest in men… I dont know anything about grindr as a woman, so I took his word on it. He also shows some signs of being gay, like hes a litte competitive and instead of complimenting my ass, he says that he’s jealous of it. He’s also in the Navy and we once got into a heated argument when I brought up the fact that I’m okay with him joke flirting with his guy friends at work, but I’m not okay with any physical stuff like ass slapping (which apparently happens a lot). He insisted that its just a guy thing and that he doesn’t know why its such a big deal to me.. I don’t know if I’m over thinking this because of my trauma or if I’m right to be suspicious. Anyways advice?
TL;DR! My boyfriend had a grindr subscription before we got together. He said it was to look for couples, and that he’s 100% straight.
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Info: how long have you been together?
Try his search history if not.. Deffo warning sign that he looked into it even after you told him about your past..
Feeld and 3fun are for finding couples. I don’t think Grindr has a reputation for that.
He’s probably just uncomfortable with his bisexuality. A huge chunk of men who have sex with men claim they’re straight.
But your assumption that he’s gay is exactly the reason why they stay in the closet.
honestly im sorry but, hes probably lying & is DL :/ Also, almost everyone who says they’re into couples (barely anyone) on their profile usually has couples AND <something>.
I think you’re over thinking the ass slapping, it’s just friends mucking around.
He’s in denial. He’s clearly in denial. Sooner or later the cheating is going to get physical. Save yourself OP
Grindr is definitely just for men. It’s possible that he got it out of curiosity or to experiment. Of course it’s possible that he is in denial about his attraction to men, but it’s also possible that he just tried it out and came to conclusion that it wasn’t for him. None of it necessarily means that he isn’t attracted to women too.
However, I’d be very weirded out by ass slapping friends though. I know every circle is different and maybe in some circles it is a thing, but definitely not where I’m from or among the straight men I’ve ever interacted with – that being said I do come from a culture where everyone is expected to have two feet personal space and being very physical is not something that most are comfortable with, for some people even among family or partners.
Ultimately, no matter what the reality with him is, you can’t control his actions. You can only control your own, including whether this is something you want to deal with or not. Are you happy with the relationship? Do you like how he is as a person and how he acts? Cause there’s a possibility that all this is just who he is and there’s nothing more behind it. At seven months point you’re still getting to know the person, so you’re just going to have to make decisions based upon what you know and feel right now. Either you choose to trust him or you don’t.
break up. if he’s going to lie and defend himself that bad then it’ll be worse. put urself first op