My wife (flight attendant) and I just got married recently and I just found out she cheated on me while we were engaged with a pilot (didn’t know about the affair back then). Two months after the wedding she hooks up with the same pilot again on a layover.
I have found out about the affair, who the pilot is, and who his wife is. Do I tell the wife of the pilot about her cheating husband? I’m sure this isn’t the first time he’s cheat on her with a flight attendant.
Comments
I mean you could but maybe your first concern should be what be what you are going to do with your wife. If you think that telling his wife is gonna make your story you may be in for a rude awakening. Your wife isn’t giving him up for nothing… she surely didn’t attempt to give him up for the sake of you or you marriage. Don’t count on it now.
Get rid of your wife, then tell his wife, walk away, and let the chips fall wherever they land.
Annul your marriage and absolitely tell the pilot’s wife
Leave your wife then call the airline’s HR dept.
She prob knows. Pilots are known to be serial cheaters. Ditch your trashy wife though. She won’t change.
Divorce her
Blow it the fuck off and put them both on blast.
Nice story
You owe that pilot’s wife the truth she deserves to know who she’s married to, just like you wish you had. Blow it all up and walk away with your dignity
Expose to POSOM wife, STD test for yourself, annul the marriage and move on in that order 👌
Get a lawyer.
Separate immediately.
Consider getting the marriage annulled.
Protect your finances.
Tell his wife.
Tell your friends and family why you are ending the marriage.
Yep, burn all the bridges!
Like everyone has said already, divorce her in the easiest way possible then tell his wife. And can the airline and try to get him fired off possible. Fuck him.
Yes, end the marriage. She’s proven she’s not loyal and you’ll never be able to trust her again. You’ll always wonder what she’s doing and whom she with on her trips.
Definitely tell the wife, she deserves to know. Even if she maybe aware of what he does, at least you’ll know you did what you could. Wouldn’t you want to be told? What she does with the info is up to her.
Yeah, tell the wife. She needs to know for her own health safety.
Get all of your stuff in order before you do a thing. That means having an attorney all ready and following whatever instructions they give you to a T. Once that’s in order and you get the go-ahead, spring it all on her and fire the email with all of the evidence to his wife. Fuck them both. And I hope you have a great rest of your life after this bullshit is well behind you.
Dump her. Tell the pilots wife. Report them to the airline. How is this even hard
First, I’m so sorry this happened to you. Being betrayed by the person you trusted most is devastating. Personally, as a wife, I’d want to know. That said, just a few things to consider;
Are you able to provide concrete proof for the wife? If someone is going to come to me with the kind of information that might upend my life, I’d need for it to be substantiated.
Are you certain that their marriage is monogamous? They may have an arrangement, and if that arrangement is that they’re allowed to sleep with other people provided they don’t discuss specifics, then telling her may disrupt her peace for no reason.
Are you wanting to tell her because she has a right to know, or are you out for revenge against the pilot who slept with your wife? If it’s more the latter than the former, I certainly wouldn’t blame you. That said, it’ll likely be a very temporary satisfaction, but won’t do as much as you hope it will to help you heal from this.
I’d consider looking into getting the marriage annulled on account of fraud, and definitely get into therapy to help you learn how to trust again. You have a lifetime of love in your life ahead of you and you deserve someone who would never do this to you.
Go nuclear!!!
His wife has a right to know, maybe get some evidence if you can.
Consider leaving but entirely your choice
Divorce and tell, there you go.
How did you find out?
Nobody is surprised by this
You’ve already got good advice. The only other suggestion is to get tested for STDs.
Id annul the marriage so you don’t owe her anything when it ends, and if you like her still and don’t care about her sleeping around, just stay boyfriend girlfriend in an open relationship. Realistically, if she’s just fucking for the sake of fucking, do you care?
Bruh, you know what you need to do. Follow your instincts.
Id say what you do regarding the pilot and your wife should begin with first how solid is your evidence? Both what you know and what you can prove. If you can’t prove anything, it might be dangerous to go after him as it’s slander. You’re attempting to ruin a career/life/marriage and if it’s all based on gossip that’s not enough.
I’m not a lawyer but I do wonder if you snooping in her phone is illegal. Quick internet search resulted in this:
“Any evidence of an affair that you obtain illegally from a spouse’s personal phone may result in charges against you if you attempt to present them in court”
Absolutely, tell the other betrayed spouse. Get an annulment if you can. If you’re renting, try and get out of the lease. STD checks.
Inform her work HR too. Most places like that have strict rules now.
Maybe wait till she’s traveling for work and move out or change the locks.
Contact a lawyer first. Pretend everything is normal until you contact the lawyer and see what you need to do to protect yourself. Then after you have everything documented, serve her papers. Then call the wife, call the HR dept and see how much youncan take her for. You may be able to sue the pilot for emotional distress, keep your options as wide open as you can to destroy these two.
Tell his wife. Dump your wife
Consult a lawyer, see if you can annul or if you have to divorce, (if the lawyer recommends) move half of joint accounts into new account, cancel any joint credit cards you may have, move any of your important documents with SS number, passport, etc., tell his wife, tell HR. This will probably get ugly.
Edit: I forgot. STD screening for yourself. Who knows who he’s sleeping with and what she’s caught from him.
Sadly this is very common, pilots are very often in addiction programs and are serial cheaters. I’d tell his wife
Tell the pilot’s wife and get tested. Divorce your wife. She has zero respect for you.
Yes, let the pilot’s wife know. She should be a secondary concern though. Deal with your ex wife first
Check on that annulment approach. Keep in mind that reacting emotionally (I understand it’s an emotional event) isn’t always the best. A divorce is easier when both parties are cooperating. If you get her back now you might not get the cooperation you need later. I’d wait on getting back at her as revenge is best served cold.
It’s time for you to fly (REO Speedwagon) and pun intended. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
You should give her a pair of cold play tickets and say to bring him.
Cheating flight attendant?? …. NO WAAAAYYYYY!!!!!
Can any flight attendants tell us how common this is and what the hookup and cheating culture is like in this environment? I’m curious to know.
(I know this doesn’t really help the OP, but there’s not much left to say, others have already covered most of it).
Tell the pilots wife, go out on a date with her!! Karma
Keep your evidence to yourself, consult a divorce attorney for advice on next steps, and go from there.
Depending on your jurisdiction, there’s a lot you can do before your spouse knows you’re leaving to set yourself up to emerge better off after the divorce. A good divorce attorney will give you a step by step plan.
And then once the dust settles a bit, and if you have the blessing of your lawyer, yeah tell anybody and everybody who might have an interest.
How did you find out? Solid proof? Or heard from someone that heard it from someone?
If she cheated and you have undeniable proof, leave her! But don’t confront her or start legal proceedings until you are 100% positive.
Accusing her of something they didn’t do only to find out it wasn’t true will leave a scar on your relationship.
Just be sure, that’s all I’m saying.
He’ll figure it out sooner or later. Deal with your feelings with your wife and move on.