I’ve been dating this girl for over a year. We moved in together recently and things have been awesome. She told me she was married before and divorced a few years back but last night her sister told me she’s still legally married.
I’m a Christian man and to us who follow the Bible, this is a HUGE no no. But even without that belief, I still think it’s wrong that she’s still married. I feel betrayed and lied to. I haven’t spoken to her about it yet so I’m here asking how to go about this.
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She lied and you can’t ignore that. Face the truth now or lose yourself in the lie forever.
I mean moving in before marriage is a no no also right?
First and foremost, does that sister like you and approve of your relationship? If not, do you have independent proof of her words? Or does the sister follow a religion that does not believe in divorce?
Divorce is also a lengthy multi-stage process. It is possible they started the proceedings, but did not finalize them, or different states have different rules about finalizing it.
Even they are fully and legally married, it sounds like she is separated from him, so this is not really cheating.
Also, did they get married in a church? Do either of them go to church? If not, this is not a violation of religious rules. In fact, do you still have anything from your ex? Plenty of women would consider that highly inappropriate.
Finally, divorce process is quite lengthy, expensive and unpleasant, and infinitely worse if the other partner does not want it or lives far away. So it is not surprising that she did not go through with it.
You should tell her that you want her to be free of her past, and you will support her in all the divorce proceedings. Like go to lawyer appointments and court hearings with her.
And there is the legal aspect of it that he might lay claim to her money or her property.
Talk to that person, ask her for proof. That kind of stuff matters, but it’s something that matters between you and your person. The people on here, they like to tear people down. They like to break you down until you have nobody left to talk to you about it not even your person. Don’t make my same mistake, talk to the person that you really care about. Especially if y’all live together, it’s always important. The best way you can do. It is just say look this is what I heard. Can you explain it to me? If she doesn’t want to explain it, then maybe that’s when you pull out the big guns of saying I can’t do this. But if you really care about her, give her a chance to explain it to you. I didn’t, and my page says it all.
Hey man—first of all, I’m really sorry you’re walking through this. That kind of betrayal hits sooo deep, especially when you’ve invested not just time and trust, but your future. You were trying to build something real. You deserve truth, not secrets.
Let’s call this what it is: a lie. Whether it was fear, denial, or straight-up deception behind it, you were misled—and that matters. Especially for someone walking in faith. The Bible’s pretty clear about covenant and truth. And marriage? That’s not a detail. That’s a foundation.
Now… how you move forward? That’s between you & God.
But here’s what I’d say:
•You need a real conversation with her, and fast. Calm, direct, loving—but firm. Give her space to speak truth, but don’t let her gaslight you or brush this off.
•Ask yourself this: If she hadn’t been caught, would she have ever told you? That answer alone will tell you a lot.
•Pray for discernment, but don’t ignore what’s already been revealed. Sometimes God doesn’t shout—He just lets the truth leak out when you need it most.
If you stay, you’re staying with full awareness of a foundation that was cracked from the jump. If you leave, you’re not abandoning love—you’re honoring truth.
Either way: you are not crazy. You are not overreacting. You are not the one who broke trust. You’re just the one deciding whether to live inside of someone else’s lie or walk forward into something real.
Praying for peace, wisdom, and courage as you face this head on. You’re not alone. You’re covered.
✌️ & 🙏 from someone who’s been blindsided before too.
If you’re looking for a reason to leave, I guess you could use this. Personally, I’d quiz her and see why she’s still married, it could be complicated and out of her control.
Did you validate this information? Even if it’s true, what’s the rest of the context?
You haven’t spoken to her about it, so honestly dude, that’s how you go about it. It’s impossible to provide any advice with the dearth of details you provided.
You’re Christian? …. and moved in together??? Smdh.
“I’m a Christian man and to us who follow the Bible”
My advice is to realize that all religion is a fraud and that there is no god.
Sometimes you just don’t want to deal with the bs of getting divorced or deal with your ex. That was my experience at least.
From a non-religious perspective, let me give you thoughts based on my own experience.
I was married for years and then we decided to part ways. I was single for a couple of years and then started dating. I fell in love and we moved in together while I was still married. She knew I was still married though, but she knew I wanted nothing to do with my ex. In fact, the only reason I was sti married is because I did not want to have to deal with my ex in any way, shape or form. I just didn’t so I chose to not get divorced for years. Eventually, I decide to just get it out of the way and it was the best thing never. It’s like weight off your shoulders.
My point is… she probably wants nothing to do with her ex but she doesn’t want to deal with what it implicates. Talk it out; hope you guys work it out. Cheers
My ex son in law lied to his now wife about being divorced . Grant you him and my daughter had agreed to a divorce , see other people but for financial reasons they didn’t really see the need to get divorced in that moment. My daughter was honest with her eventual counter part but her soon to be ex never told his eventual new wife that he was still legally married . I know this because the fool married his new wife while still legally married to my daughter . That’s for another chat lol .
Anyway it’s possible she was never honest about it for a series of reasons but regardless that’s a huge thing to either lie about or omit .
That’s. Omicron
Honestly i wouldnt worry about it. I would just talk to her and tell her to finish the legality part of the divorce. shes the same person, nothings changed, nothings different. They legal part of it costs money and maybe she didnt have it at the time. If they are over they are over. I understand you follow the bible, but if you choose a book over her, then you probably shouldnt be together o.O