Well, the title says it all. Now I’m left here with my two kids trying to figure out next steps. I am the type of person who always has a plan, or who likes to always have it together even though I really don’t. Right now, I’m so confused and I clearly don’t have shit together. Really just came here to say this much. Everyone close to me who knows, automatically assumes the marriage is over. I think the writing is on the walls, but is there any coming back from this? He claims it was all purely curiosity. I really never thought he’d cheat. Definitely a gut punch.
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If you have any self-respect there is no comming back. But that’s just me…
Curiosity may be one time. Multiple men? That’s not curiosity.
He cheated on you. It doesn’t matter if it was with another man or a woman, he cheated.
Most straight men are not curious about sex with other men. So, maybe he is curious about being Bisexual or he is curious about being Gay (or he doesn’t know how to come out to you).
As soon as you can, call your Doctor’s office, get a full physical and a full STD/STI screen panel.
Go see a lawyer. You need to have all the information, before you can make a decision.
Then, with all your information in hand (Dr. and lawyer) then you can decide what’s best for you and your children.
Therapy may help, or it may prolong the inevitable.
If you had a sister or BFF in this situation, what advice would you give her?
Good luck
Take out the ‘men’ and replace it with ‘women’ and then ask yourself if that makes the question of what to do more clear. Because the gender doesn’t matter here at all; it’s his lying, his cheating, his disrespect, his betrayal, and his disregard for your health. That’s the kind of man he is. Leave.
Girl have you gotten an std check?
Yes you should leave him. He will only end up giving you an STD or leave you in the future.
Not only is he bisexual and it’s probably not gonna stop until he wants to, but he cheated. The marriage is over. If you stay, you will drag yourself through the mud. It will feel like somebody tied you to the back of the pick up truck and drug you over gravel Road. One bump at a time. Get as much as you can together quickly and leave.
It’s hard coming back from cheating. Not just the cheating part … but getting to trust him part again is the mountain that you will have to climb.
It was with men. Not man. Men.
I could not.
He’ll do it again unless he puts in the leg work to change. And I mean really work hard to change. But not very many cheaters do it and even then some will cheat again.
You also said people know what he’s done are you will to face them and to have to continuously defend your husband and his actions?
What has your husband said and done since you found out?
I can only imagine how you’re feeling right now with something like this coming completely out of left field. There’s no way to avoid the incredibly difficult feelings that come with a situation like this.
But while you’re working your way through it, don’t lose yourself. You’re too important to too many people. And you have people that love you and care for you SO deeply that will be there for you when you need them.
Stay strong for your kiddos and remember that what you’re feeling won’t last forever. You WILL be ok 💜
Cheating is cheating. Lies, unfaithful, health risks, making your relationship less. He has broken the critical bond of trust, he has taken focus and effort away from you. He has engaged in risky behavior at your risk. Could you ever trust again?
I know what I would do.
OP, if your life was a movie – what would the audience watching along be screaming at the screen for you to do??
Hope his name is George cuz 11 years is a lot for all that “curious”🐒
Your husband is gay. Im very sorry this has happened to you. In this day and age it is unforgivable. He has betrayed everyone. He owes you big time and I would get thee to a decent lawyer. Also get an STD test. He is a liar and a cheat and you deserve better.