Hi fam, long time listener and I have never had a problem like this where I have needed advice on. First ever post so bear with me please.
My boyfriend (22m) and I (21f) have been together since 2019 with only one breakup in that time. A little background, He is my high school sweet heart and also the only man iv ever slept with. We broke up previously due to immaturity on his part and not being ready for a life commitment.
On to the issue. We have had a photo album of us we have been working on together since we first started dating and it’s almost complete. I went to his photo gallery to see if there was any new good photos to add to our album to finish it off ( we have an open phone policy ) anyway I’m scrolling and I see photos of my pregnant sisters and a video of my sister breastfeeding her daughter. I can’t describe the sinking feeling that came over me and how fast my heart started to beat.
The videos and photos were recorded from my phone 24 days ago WHILE I WAS SLEEPING!!! I have no idea what to do or what to say to him. The one thing I have done so far is edit them on his Snapchat to where the video says “why are these on your phone!!” And to the pictures “?????”. I’m currently waiting for him to wake up and notice. Once he does I’m not sure what to say or what to do, so Morgan and TwoHotTakes fam what do I do??
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Backup of the post’s body: Hi fam, long time listener and I have never had a problem like this where I have needed advice on. First ever post so bear with me please.
My boyfriend (22m) and I (21f) have been together since 2019 with only one breakup in that time. A little background, He is my high school sweet heart and also the only man iv ever slept with. We broke up previously due to immaturity on his part and not being ready for a life commitment.
On to the issue. We have had a photo album of us we have been working on together since we first started dating and it’s almost complete. I went to his photo gallery to see if there was any new good photos to add to our album to finish it off ( we have an open phone policy ) anyway I’m scrolling and I see photos of my pregnant sisters and a video of my sister breastfeeding her daughter. I can’t describe the sinking feeling that came over me and how fast my heart started to beat.
The videos and photos were recorded from my phone 24 days ago WHILE I WAS SLEEPING!!! I have no idea what to do or what to say to him. The one thing I have done so far is edit them on his Snapchat to where the video says “why are these on your phone!!” And to the pictures “?????”. I’m currently waiting for him to wake up and notice. Once he does I’m not sure what to say or what to do, so Morgan and TwoHotTakes fam what do I do??
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Wake his butt up and confront him and tell your sisters what he did
Yeah… I understand the impulse, but the edit was not the way to go. Him having these pictures is weird and creepy. Give yourself some time to gather your thoughts. Decide if this is a deal breaker if there isn’t a reasonable explanation, then talk to him about it.
It is not your job to raise a grown ass man. If he isn’t a partner, move on. He’s just a man. There are literally billions of them. Focus on building the life you want. You’re young. You have your whole life and the whole world ahead of you.
He is filming your sister breastfeeding and exposed without her consent. He is not a safe person for you or your sisters. I’m also wondering if what he did is illegal in your area. There is no coming back from this. Get him out of your life now!
[deleted]
First of all, I’m so sorry. I’m sure that was hard to see, and I’d have a roller coaster of emotions. Mostly anger… the petty me would create a group chat with your sisters, him, and yourself and out him for it. I don’t think there’s any coming back from that and he can’t have a valid explanation.
That’s disturbing and WEIRD. I’m sorry OP!
Dump him. I mean, honestly, do you even have to ask?
Tell your sisters and ask what they want to do about it. This is disgusting. Also please dump him. wtf
What do you mean what to do? You are dating a perv. If there was perv register he would be at the top of that list
Updateme
You’re 21 and want a life commitment?
Use your phone to record the videos/pictures on his phone. Include time stamps. Then send the photos/videos to yourself and delete them off his phone. Take all of this to the police. Tell your sisters, they deserve to be protected. And protect yourself by getting out. This guy is NOT safe.
You dump him. Geez. You are way too young to be looking for a lifetime commitment, anyway.
It appears his immaturity has developed further into more nefarious territory.
You’re saying he recorded the video on your phone and sent it to himself? Because that shows a level of premeditated plausible deniability, especially if it’s erased from your phone. You need to confront him, not wait for him to notice, and you need to tell your sisters about this violation too. They should allowed to choose how to proceed. As far as dating him, are you okay being with someone who would do something like this to you and your sisters? First loves don’t always last and it sounds like the immaturity issues that broke you up before are still an issue. This is not a life partner.
girl if you don’t wake his ass up and throw his things outside right now, istg. he’s not only got photos of your sisters but videos of your INFANT niece/nephew breastfeeding and you’re letting him snooze away? BYEEE. kick his ass out and tell your sisters immediately.
Uh oh.
You break up. You tell your sister.
Screen shot. Copy to multiple places. Make sure he has no chance of access to 2.
Then tell your sisters.
You have already done it. Called him out in public. Embarrassed him. Your sister. Just maybe, he think breastfeeding is beautiful, and sis agreed to the pic because you are all family. But you have taken care of it now.
Updateme
Updateme!
Ick. Please don’t marry this guy. You need to experience men, not boys. And make no mistake. He’s a boy. A creepy boy.
He is still immature and not worth your commitment.
There is nothing he can say that makes this alright.
Updateme
!updateme!
Girl, you need to delete these photos and videos off his phone and break up with him.
Are you sure your sister and your boyfriend are not hooking up and the baby is his???? Maybe thats why he was recording/taking pics of a tender moment.
Regardless, he should be your ex now.
Updateme!
Don’t date perverts. This man is a pervert.
I would also be concerned about who he shared those pictures with. And if he says he didn’t I would not trust that either.
UpdateMe!
Since you have an open phone policy, he wasn’t trying to hide anything from you. You have asked him why they are on his phone and are waiting for him to respond. Did he record them secretly, or was your sister nursing in public, and he recorded her? Did she know he was recording? Wait until he responds before flipping out. He may have an innocent explanation.
Listen…. As someone who is about to be 26 and I breastfeed my son (currently 19mo and likely having another kid with my partner in this next year) very casually… This is weird, creepy and wrong in the all bad ways. Idk how close up the video is or what but like… videos like that? With AI nowadays? Scary, disturbing implications. Wake that man up and confront him calmly. Don’t ask leading questions. Just straight up ask him what’s up with him keeping the video that was sent to you.
I would have been ruined my boyfriend’s ass out of that bed and demand in an answer and there’s really no good answer that so then his bags would be packed and he’d be out the door
What do you do? Cut bait, sister files report for non consensual photos, move forward with your good self. And, thank your lucky stars you saw who he really is before marriage/kids.
Life commitment lol. Why you’d want a loser to commit to you for life is beyond me, especially being as young and naive as you both are.
Wake his perverted ass up!!
Updateme
Ok, before you do anything, please go back into his phone and delete every single photo/video of the breastfeeding but also any incriminating images OF YOU. This is not someone you want to have your nudes forever. And check for any he took of you when you didn’t realize.
Then dump his ass.
Me? I would take his phone and delete the content, delete any backups, and get the fuck out because that’s MY sister and no person gets to disrespect my family that way. Absolutely disgusting. What is WRONG with him?
You need to tell your sisters, trash that content, and get out now. No big scene, no drama, don’t give him a chance to talk you out of it or attack you. Just get the fuck out.
You HAVE to tell your sisters! Please tell me you kept evidence/sent to your phone for safe keeping! Giiiiirl what? Creepy. Just wake his ass up and be like “excuse me? What is this?” But personally I hate confrontation, I’d be right there in your boat too, waiting for him to wake up while you figure your words out. I honestly don’t know the best advice so I hope someone on here does!
I am confused though, how did he use your phone to record those while you were sleeping? Can you explain that bit a tad more?
Ok so wait… your boyfriend took your phone while you were sleeping, recorded your sister breastfeeding her baby, and then sent it to himself and nobody had any idea? What? How does that work?
Tell your sister – he violated her. And run.
Were your sisters aware? why would he use your phone? im confused.
He’s obviously a creep jerkin the gerkin to it all
Updateme
That’s totally not acceptable. Keep evidence and make sure you are safe when you confront him. I’m so sorry this is happening
Send the videos to your sisters. So they can view them and then tell them to Standby for a phone call …
Get your boyfriend up, call your sisters on speaker phone and then ask boyfriend WHY HAVE YOU GOT THESE VIDEOS ON YOUR PHONE?
Let him explain to EVERYONE and he can’t lie and say they told him to film if they’re in the conversation
Also, delete them off his phone before giving his phone back and make sure they aren’t in the cloud.
You dump him, period. That is gross on several levels. He’s a creep. There is no excuse, and you would be horrible to forgive some for violating your sister’s privacy that way. The video was not meant for him.
Dump him, immediately.
Screenshot what you saw, send it to yourself & tell your sister right away. Also, check your phone & the “recently deleted” section pictures section on your phone. There’s a good chance he could have air dropped them from your phone to his so there was no trace in messages of him sending that video to himself. And lastly, just leave him. There is no reasoning as to why he would need that video what so ever. So sorry to hear this.
UpdateMe
Has the baby daddy been identified?
Pregnancy and breastfeeding fetish. This is a Kid-adjacent fetish. I’d be concerned that he might be a pedo. Sick puppy. Time to move on.
What else is he/has he done? This could be just the tip of the iceberg. File a report. Get him on a registry. He violated two sisters and put a third sister in an uncomfortable position. Using your phone is calculated.
take a video with your phone of his phone and going into the gallery.
next, once you have solid proof that those images/videos were in there, i would maybe ask him to delete them IN FRONT OF YOU, and then go into his recently deleted and delete those in front of you too, and then ask if he has them hidden anywhere else on emails or other places…
and then you dump him. he 1000% took those for self pleasure which is absolutely disgusting. make his life a living hell… ask your sister to what she wants done with this info. if she wants to press charges or file a report, get her onboard with it and also, maybe tell your sisters spouse. see what that guy thinks… seriously. tell him and then maybe wipe your hands with this and let that guy deal with him. do not try to protect this pervert.
Wake him up girl!
that’s exactly how i found pictures of my moms behind in swimming suits taken from her facebook and cropped on my ex husbands phone. i deleted them and left him within a week without ever confronting him. in my opinion that is the worst thing he did, and he also abused me. there is no redemption for weird behavior like that.
we were also high school sweethearts, together for eight years, don’t waste any more of your time.
Updateme!
Time to call your sisters. I’m so sorry 🙁
Could it be OP photos accidentally shared and uploaded on his phone?
Leave him!
Of all the things that never happened 😂
I have not been in a situation like this with a partner but I unfortunately have been in a situation similarly where my brother has been charged with >! Possession of Child pornography !< and it’s extremely sad and disheartening experience.
Having someone you love and care for so deeply do something so wrong. It is scary.
Two feelings can exist at once — you can love your boyfriend and know that he has done something incredibly wrong and disgusting. But it does not mean his actions should be dismissed.
Sending you love OP
First tell your sister what he did then you both confront his a$$ and dump him because he is unfaithful and u can do a lot better then his a$$
Updateme
Updateme!
OK, first I would like to know how and why you have photos and videos of your sister breastfeeding on your phone.??? Something just doesn’t sound on the level about this story .
Updateme
Updateme
Mam, did you seriously just tell us you did not delete them from his phone but edited them? Take a screenshot with your phone and then delete them!!!
I hope for your sake, and your family’s sake, you break up with him. This will only get worse from here. It will just be kept behind your back until you find it again.
I’m sorry this happened to you, but maybe it’s good to know this now, then you two deciding to marry. It’s really your decision if you want to tell your sister, although she has the right to know. It sounds like this is his second mistake, and not his last. I think you should end it because who knows if he’ll ever stop being a creep or/and he could do something worse to you if not, already. I hope it works out for you!
This is my first time responding so please be gentle!
you’re a spineless coward if you decide to stay with him & put the safety of your INFANT niece at imminent risk. there’s only two words to describe your “loving boyfriend”- a pedophile & a pervert. he should never have the opportunity to be anywhere near your poor family…hopefully you realize that. do not feed into your codependent behavior
Honestly just have a conversation with him, it could be nothing for all we know. It could just be him creating a memento for your sister. Don’t break up with him yet wait till you find out answers.
The fact he took YOUR phone WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING
And sent HIMSELF (or as you said, recorded them to his phone using his phone?) intimate moment videos and photos that WEREN’T MEANT FOR HIS EYES (or he’d be in that group chat)
Proves he knows he’s wrong and he’s not safe to be around your sister and her child cause, who does that unless it’s to get off?
He was your high school sweetheart, and your first… maybe you need a second. You’ve grown up, but he hasn’t. It sounds as if you already broke up once because of “immaturity” on his part. Doesn’t seem like he changed.
RUN!!!!🚩🚩🚩🚩
Updateme
This is disgusting and sexually violating. Please do not keep this person around your family
Sounds like you need to cut him out, hit the bar and get some “experience” , protected of course. Youre young, hes kinda cheated on you, wasted years of your life and violated your sister. Hit the town and ditch him
Hot take here. I don’t think it’s that bad. Seems like a kink or perhaps it’s not even sexual. Maybe he likes thinking about OP pregnant or breastfeeding. Who knows until you ask. Is it a little unethical? Sure. They have an open phone policy so taking them off her phone isn’t violating a rule. It’s a little violating to sister perhaps yet she’s open enough to send these in a way he might see them so it’s not soooo violating. It’s just a little unethical. I think the comment section thus far is overreacting quite a bit.
Vomit
man just run
First he has no respect for you. Why are you still with him. You clearly have outgrown him. Second when someone does something like this go to their face for answers. Ugh. It’s time for a break from this nonsense
Why would you want to stay with someone who takes covert videos of your sisters? While my ex didn’t do this, believe me when I say you should not stay with your childhood sweetheart. You are both growing and maturing and figuring out who you are as individuals. Unfortunately, it sounds like your bf is growing into a creep, if he wasn’t already.
if ur a female why is ur username john foe? seems like a bot considering this is their only post
He’s a creep. What else do you need to know. I’d be done with him today.
OP, did you take the pictures in question using your own phone and your BF later sent them to himself?
Updateme
Omg