Okay, well. It’s been a cold marriage. Lots of lies and secrets going on behind my back. But i never really knew until i got my husbands phone as a hand-me-down. Neither of us did a factory reset. I just added my apps, put on a new background and it felt like a new phone. Pretty soon some of the secrets were right in my face. So after this, after 12 years together, i finally prowled. One thing i found was pictures of a girl 10 years younger than us. They weren’t really bad. She is trying on 2 different dresses, and the expression on her face is half “im cute” and half “what do you think”. That kind of scares me worse than the other stuff. I have been trying to find her, and i finally did. The email had a forwarding number on it. I can’t find her on social media or a current email address. But i did find a current phone number, that appears to be a landline. Should I call her? I want the tea. Im so tired of being lied to and even though “i know”. I want to hear it. I’m not trying to make her mad or feel bad, i just want to know how they found each other and stuff like that. Should I call her, or write her a letter and mail it?
Found pictures of a girl in husbands email, should I try to call her?
r/Advice
Comments
Just end it and move on with your life. That’s my advice.
Realistically your husband should not be doing anything at all behind your back. I think that’s really wrong of him considering you are married. I’m really sorry to hear all of this. My advice would be to contact the girl and ask who she is and how she knows your husband (adress him by his name) her answer should help define what you should really do. If he met her on a dating app or something similar personally that would instantly be cause for separation. If it’s a completely innocent answer then proceed to ask your husband the same things and see if the stories add up.
You’ve been in a cold marriage for 12 years, carrying the weight of lies you didn’t even know were there and now that the truth is in your face, you’re craving answers that should’ve been given you. You’re tired, you want the missing pieces, you want someone to just say the truth. But she’s not the one who broke your vows, he is. Calling her might give you tea, but it won’t give you peace. He owes you the truth, I would confront him, and move on because you deserve better.
Why not just end it? Calling her won’t do anything and it could be completely innocent like a scam email.
If you think he’s lying and having secrets why not just confront him?
Sample the evidence you have, give him everything and hand over the divorce papers. You deserve more than that. Men are so predictable
I’d call personally I have before and I got what I needed from it. Made it so much easier to boot him out of the house. Didn’t feel bad or nothing but I got my answers. Plus if you are going to divorce then you need as much proof as you can get.
I wouldn’t let them know that you’ve figured it out. You should start moving money around to your advantage, consult a lawyer, and keep it all as evidence.
You will need this advantage ……it will give you peace of mind if things really escalate. You won’t be able to think straight and it will be very difficult to put in place if things escalate more.
Once you have everything prepared, THEN confront him with the evidence. Or just serve papers.
yes call
What’s staying with him doing for your emotional and spiritual well being?
She should know, if she doesn’t already
You could use his phone and text like your him and invite her for dinner.
Start moving money out of bank accounts. Get yourself set up and ready to leave
She may actually be his daughter. Yes I know you said she only looks ten years younger her but who knows.
I’d call her.
UpdateMe
Don’t contact her – she will just lie. Put a tracker on his car and hide a recorder taped under his car seat. Check his phone when he is sleeping. Start saving money and be a detective.
She knows he’s married – it just might make them be more secretive. Get more info first.
You need to start your exit strategy you are not in a healthy relationship and your husband‘s behavior is not normal. You need to start talking to a lawyer to see what your legal options are and what you can legally do. I do not mean to be cold hard, but I’m being blunt with you, the marriage is over. You just haven’t pulled the trigger yet. As I said, you need to talk to a lawyer and see what you can legally do as and possibly separate your finances or anything else that might take.