I (28F), found A Victoria’s Secret underwear tag on my (26M) floor.
We have been dating almost one year. The tag was between the bed and wall. I don’t wear their underwear. He said he doesn’t know how it got there and he even asked me if I planted it there.
How do I find out if he’s cheating. I don’t have any proof outside of the tag. I took the tag with me but it’s the silky part of the tag with the size which is strange. It’s not the tag with the barcode so I can’t even look up what pair they are. What should I do, or how should I go about this?
TL;DR- I found an underwear tag on my partners floor that I am 99% sure are not mine.
Comments
Near a wall or in a place where it cold have got loose from rug or fallen? Without any more evidence or coincidences, it looks like a random innocent thing
You can dump him without evidence. Him immediately saying you planted it is DARVO tactics, red flag even if he didn’t cheat tbh.
If hes accusing you of planting it, he is 100% cheating. Innocent people dont deflect.
Some questions:
has he ever given you reason to doubt him
does he live in an apartment or can you think of any other reasons it may show up
don’t underwear these days not use a tag anymore since they are uncomfortable? I’d imagine this is an old tag, maybe from his mom or something.
you’ve been dating a year. Is it possible it was from someone before you? odds that he’s having a woman sleeping with him while dating you in his bed is low, I’d think you’d see other signs too.
Anyway, I think at this point I’d leave it alone unless he has any other suspicious activity.
Edit: missed the part about him asking if you planted it. That’s unacceptable, I’d talk to him about that. But then again, did you accuse him or cheating first?
you said you guys have been dating for a year? have you ever moved the bed or moved the bed on accident while changing the sheets? … i don’t wanna say he’s out cheating but something seems sus especially to say you planted it! just weird after a year a tag would still be stuck between his wall and bed🤷🏼♀️
The fact that he accuses you of planting it is definitely a red flag. My first thought if I was questioned about this would be to say I have no idea where this came from, reassure my partner that I didn’t cheat, and try to see how it could have appeared (without accusing that they are setting me up). Unless you’ve recently moved or do laundry in a shared space, it is likely that he was indeed cheating, especially with the jump to accusal.
Has he lived there longer than you’ve been dating him? Between the bed and the wall is not a common place to vacuum, that tag could’ve been sitting there a long time.
Does he do his laundry in a communal facility? The tag could’ve fallen off in someone’s wash and then gotten tangled in his sheets when he used the machine next.
Are there other suspicious signs? Unaccounted-for time, strangely private with his phone, receipts for things that could be gifts, odd fragrances on his clothing he furniture, new music or snacks that he’s never liked before, etc … if no other signs, then I doubt he’s cheating.
Has he given you any other reasons to be suspicious of him? To me it’s totally possible that it’s from a previous relationship from ages ago that predates you. I once found a glass bead behind my bed frame and I couldn’t place where it came from for ages. I realised it had come from a friend’s earring. She had crashed on my bed OVER A YEAR AGO.
Wow- if you are that suspicious of the guy, why are you even with him? Or ask yourself, why are you trying to find any sliver of evidence of cheating? One cannot have a healthy relationship without trust. If you have been burned before, maybe you need to work on healing instead of being in relationships to be suspicious of the people you’re dating.