This Dad is Making His Daughter “Pay Him Back” for Period Supplies Through Chores While His Son Gets a Free Pass

We’ve all heard some pretty outdated parenting takes, but one dad on Reddit just managed to travel back in time to a century we thought was long gone. Imagine being a single father for ten years and deciding that the best way to handle your household is to treat your daughter like a servant because she has a biological cycle. It is a story that starts with “chores” and ends with a teenage girl fleeing her home because her own father thinks her extracurricular activities are a joke compared to her brother’s sports career.

The OP is a fifty-year-old widower who has been raising his seventeen-year-old son, N, and his fifteen-year-old daughter, E. Lately, he’s been catching heat from his family because E is expected to clean the entire apartment and cook four meals a week, while N doesn’t have to lift a single finger. When asked for his reasoning, the dad didn’t even try to hide the bias. He actually claimed that because he has to spend money on his daughter’s “monthly supplies” (yes, he means pads and tampons), she needs to “pay him back” by doing the housework.

It gets even more infuriating when you look at the family budget. The OP’s brother pointed out that the dad actually spends twice as much on the son’s activities than the daughter’s. But in the dad’s world, football and baseball are “investments” that could lead to a college scholarship, while his daughter’s choir and dance are just “hobbies.” Essentially, the son is a star in the making who shouldn’t be bothered with a vacuum, while the daughter is an expense that needs to be worked off.

Naturally, when E overheard her father calling her passions a hobby and her hygiene needs a debt, she was devastated. She did what any teenager with a spine would do and refused to be the family’s unpaid maid. Instead of realizing he had crossed a major line, the dad doubled down, calling her a “brat” and telling her “life isn’t fair.” He even went as far as to threaten to stop paying for her dance and her pads. Even if he claims he “wouldn’t actually do that,” saying it to a fifteen-year-old girl is a k!ller way to destroy her trust forever.

The daughter ended up packing a bag and moving in with her aunt, who—along with the rest of the extended family—is rightfully calling the OP an abusive ahole. It is a total sh!t situation when your own son has to tell you that you’re being a jerk to his sister. When your teenager feels safer at their aunt’s house than in their own bedroom, you haven’t just “lost an argument”; you’ve failed a major parenting test.

The emotional commentary here is honestly heartbreaking. A father should be the one person who doesn’t view his daughter’s basic biological needs as a financial burden that requires “payback.” To suggest that a girl should scrub toilets to earn her right to feminine hygiene products is beyond cruel. It sends a message that she is less valuable than her brother because she doesn’t play a sport that might get her a scholarship.

It is a total bullsh!t excuse to say that the son is too busy for chores because he’s an athlete. Plenty of college-bound athletes still know how to load a dishwasher or cook a meal. By exempting the son and burdening the daughter, this dad is setting them both up for failure. He’s raising a son who thinks women exist to serve him and a daughter who thinks her worth is tied to how much work she can do to offset the “cost” of her existence.

The irony here is that the dad is “furious” about being called out, but he’s the one who turned his home into a hostile environment. He’s complaining about “coddling” when his sister is actually just providing a safe space for a girl who was threatened with the loss of basic necessities. If he wants his daughter to come home, he needs to stop acting like a drill sergeant and start acting like a parent who understands that his children are humans, not line items in a budget.

This story is a vital reminder that “fairness” in a family isn’t about counting pennies; it’s about treating your children with equal dignity. Telling a child that their interests don’t matter because they won’t lead to a paycheck is a k!ller blow to their self-esteem. The OP thinks he’s teaching “life lessons,” but all he’s really teaching is that his love and support come with a very specific, gendered price tag.

So, is he the ahole? Every single person in his life, including the internet, seems to think so. He took a basic household responsibility and turned it into a weird, sexist debt-collection scheme. We hope E stays with her aunt until her dad realizes that a father’s job is to provide for his kids—not to charge them interest for being born female.

What would you do if you found out your partner or sibling was making their daughter “work off” the cost of her period products? Would you call them out like this brother did, or would you try to stay out of it? Let us know in the comments if you think this dad is “old school” or just a total ahole!