Some context for the title: I’ve known my friend online for close to a year now. I know it might seem like a short amount of time and plus the virtual aspect, but the sheer number of life experiences and struggles we’ve shared has led to a strong bond between us.
Lately, he’s been asking for advice and venting, saying he feels lonely, like he doesn’t fit into any group in real life. He always feels like he’s being ignored when he speaks or left behind. That even when he tries he can’t seem to find any group where he feels comfortable.
He works about 15 hours a day (including travel) from Monday to Saturday, so he’s under an enormous amount of stress and beat down. When he gets home, he feels lonely, with no one to talk to and no group to play video games with to let off some steam and take his mind off things. So he just goes to bed and thinks himself to sleep.
He’s dealing with health issues, financial problems, and has a family member going through a serious health crisis (they might not make it). So, he’s in a really bad place right now.
I know there’s no magic phrase or motivational quote that will suddenly turn his life around. I’m feeling pretty desperate because, other than talking to him each night, there doesn’t seem to be much I can do from a distance. I wish i could take the burden off his shoulders. Has anyone been through a similar situation and managed to help? Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks for reading.
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I’m the same, I don’t usually gel well with group activities as I find it’s always the people with the least to say who say the most.
I find things like BJJ and climbing groups better as there’s a combined focus and it’s more about ability than personality.
He works 15 hours 6 days a week, how much time can he even have to invest in friends? That’s a big part of his problem. He might have friends but he has no time to hang out with them.
15 hours per day including Saturdays is totally insane. Does he have to work this much (e.g. financial situation, debt, health costs, child support or anything)? This is the main problem, he literally has 0 time and 0 energy for any meaningful activities and hobbies.
“He doesn’t fit in” because he is constantly exhausted and tired (both physically and mentally) and doesn’t have the time.
His priority number one should be to do something about the work/life balance.