I (22M) have been with my girlfriend (24F) for a few months. I met her during a study abroad semester, we are both from different countries but are trying to make this work somehow. She has been at my hometown and I will soon visit her hometown and get to know her family and friends.
I’m very excited to go there and meet everyone, but there’s one thing on my mind.
Recently, she casually told me that in her (mixed) friend group there’s a guy that likes to do a stereotypical “protective dad speech” to new boyfriends of girls in this friend group. I reacted quite bluntly and told that he can piss off if he’d try this with me, as I’d understand if her parents want to have this conversation, but I don’t tolerate someone else patronizing me like this.
My girlfriend was surprised and thinks I overreacted a bit, I think I have a point here though, or am I taking this too serious?
TL;DR: 22M dating 24F for few months. Protective friend wants to patronize me. I don’t tolerate this, am I overreacting?
Comments
It sounds like a cult leader
I would wait for the love speech. You can’t tell what the dude might say. Maybe it’s actually something valid. And if, most likely, it’s not you can either tell him to stuff it and to mind his own business or just smile and nod and have your thoughts.
I wonder if she told you in order you can prepare and take the second approach.
Because when I met gf her ex husband had some words for me, too. I just told him his advice isn’t needed and maybe he should have used his wisdom before he did what he did. I was very polite.
Yes you are massively overreacting. You are choosing to let this bother you and it hasn’t even happened yet. You have primed yourself for creating a confrontation and drama. How do you think that will end for you? Not well.
So many things in life are best dealt with as emotional Teflon: shit hits you and it slides right off without sticking and you don’t care either way because it doesn’t even register.
I would react similar way, or take it for a joke yeah.
Honestly… it’s a bit much, isn’t it? The whole “protective dad speech” thing is a power move, and you’re right to call it out, um. It’s classic control tactic, really. Don’t let that friend’s need for drama become your problem. Focus on your girlfriend, meeting her family, and enjoying yourself, that’s what matters most. A little ridiculous, but hey, you’re doing fine