In the text she tells me to be myself when I ask her what she’s wearing bc I don’t know what to wear yet. But then softly critiques my high heel choices by telling me not to be ostentatious. Saying they’re party girl shoes and we are going to a classy dinner. Mind you, they’re black high heels, nothing flashy or loud. They’re not even platform.
Some things that she said:
“Just be you. No need to be fancy.”
To a 5 star restaurant, yeah ok.
“Is too party, looks sexy but I can tell you go to clubs a lot. Good men will stay away from party girls.” Haven’t been clubbing in several years.
“Plus, a man who really loves you will still find you attractive even in sweat pants with no makeup. “
I contemptuously do not care… it is my birthday dinner… not a date.
Actually, it was a full on lecture. It’s off putting and I’m sensing some kind insecurity from her. I really don’t want her projections to become a buzzkill, and I’m going to wear the high heels anyways because I like them. I cannot fathom getting worked up over someone’s choice of shoes. Not sure how to navigate this because I find this behavior annoying and it’s going to pmo. But I’m not going to kick her out of my birthday. Maybe just seat her away from me. Any ideas??
Anyways I’m seeing a side to her that is a bit alarming. I’ve had jealous and sabotaging friends in the past, but I wouldn’t say she’s sabotaging.
Comments
Do you girl and now you know to wear the heels if you want
If it was her birthday then I’d probably understand the dress code. But it’s not her birthday, it’s yours. She can’t dictate how you dress regardless, that’s weird. I’d definitely have a talk with her after the birthday about it though. If you look good then that’s all that matters! Happy early birthday btw 🙂
Maybe see less of her?
Does she normally give this much advice or critique on other topics? I totally get where you’re coming from but just maybe she is trying to make sure you look your best (albeit overstepping)?
omg girl its YOUR birthday! dress however u want u own that day. she sounds jealous afff bcs u probably look too good and shes tryna put u down. honestly just make her sit away from you but if you can, just uninvite her. tf she mean “too party” bro ive seen ppl wearing the most cuntiest fits in 5 star restaurants. go be sexy!
If you’re friend’s responses to your outfit choices are anything but “slayyyy queen” or “wear the black top instead, it matches your shoes more”, then something is up. I would guess you’re right and there is a confidence thing. Are there any guy friends going to your dinner? Maybe she’s crushing on one and doesn’t want you taking the attention. Maybe he made a comment about how good you look in those heels.
She doesn’t want you to shine. Go ahead and wear those sweatpants!
Unless she’s taking you horseback riding just smile and ignore it lol it’s your day. A little distance never hurt either