I (m22) went on a road trip with some friends and their girlfriends. I’m sleeping on the couch as it makes the most sense (I’m the only single one going) and my friends gf (23f) got up at like 1:30 this morning while everyone was in bed. She was in some really short shorts and a tank top so I just looked away but she started talking to me. Still looking away she started conversation about how the trips going and plans for the rest of it. I heard her voice getting closer and she sat on the couch out of nowhere. She proceeded to tell me she says how I’ve been looking at her (never looked at her in anyway as suggestive and only at her eyes) and that if I want her i just have to take her. She also had her hand dangerously high on my thigh and leaning in very close. I told her I’m not doing that and if she goes back to bed I’ll chalk this up to a drunken ramble (we were all drinking together a couple hours prior). I fully intend on telling my buddy but I’m torn on if I wait or tell him now because this morning it’s already really tough seeing them laugh together and he doesn’t know. She’s giving me some glances I can’t tell if she’s nervous if I’m going to say something or is trying to send out a “vibe”. just needed some advice as I know this is going to hurt him a lot just not sure what the best course of action is.
Friends GF tried sleeping with me on a trip. We have 4 more days left so I wait until we’re back to tell him?
r/Advice
Comments
Either she was trying to cheat on his friend. Or she was looking for a threesome. lmao the choice is yours.
You did the right thing by shutting it down. That took integrity, and your friend deserves someone who would do exactly what you did.
As for telling him, timing matters. If you tell him right now, mid-trip, it could cause chaos and put you all in a really uncomfortable situation, especially if there’s no way to leave early or have space afterward.
But waiting too long can also feel like hiding it. The key is intent. You’re not keeping it from him to protect her or yourself. You’re trying to avoid dropping a bomb in the middle of a trip where he can’t process it properly.
If you can, write it down somewhere just to get it off your chest. Then tell him as soon as you’re both home and in a private, safe space. Be calm, direct, and honest. You’ve got nothing to feel guilty about. You did right by him. Now finish it with respect.
Even if you tell him, he’ll not be the same friend to you again. And if you don’t tell him, there’s a chance that she fills your friend’s brain with toxicity about you to safeguard herself. So a better way according to me is Govinda’s dialogue from the Bhagam bhag movie:
“Is kachre ko hum kachre me phek dete hain or khud kachre se bahar aate hain”
Meaning in English:
“Let’s dump this garbage in the garbage and get ourselves out of the garbage “
No, don’t wait. Tell your friend immediately and end the trip, so that this person can’t spin lies and tall tales.
Bro code. INTACT! Good job sir. Wait until the vacation is over then tell him.
I would record her with you mentioning what happened and how you want her to tell your friend what she did and said, that way you have proof.
Even if she gets to him first after you have the evidence it makes no difference, you can just send it to him.
Be prepared to lose your friend just in case he might be a sport about it but you never know. I know that a lot of woman tend to blame it on the messenger I’m not sure how men take it.
You did the right thing. My buddy’s gf did this to me in the late, late hours of a party and I shut it down the same. Glad I did because she was fucking other dudes besides my friend.
I think you should tell him now mostly because the longer you wait, she might panic and try to spin the narrative that you came onto her.
You could just let it go. Maybe it was, as you said, drunken ramble. Maybe you’re a chick magnet. Someone has acted, but you aren’t forced to react. You choose. Ask yourself – what’s the long game? What’s in it for you? “Discretion is the better part of valor” (attributed to Shakespeare) points out that sometimes, judgement, discipline and thoughtfulness are more valuable than courage or blind adherence to bro code.
Nice job you showed integrity and loyalty, that’s really rare. I’d personally wait until after the trip and then I’d tell him. Be prepared for the worst case where he turns against you, but hope for the best case where he turns against her. He will eventually confront her, and when he does she will most likely lie and deflect. This is a really crappy situation you’re in but you’ve done great so far.
Id wait until after the trip. No reason to blowout up now. If she tries anything again, tell him right away, though.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. If you have a safe exit i would talk to him sooner than later. You have definitely done a good thing so far.
I’d say u tell him now before she spins it on u hitting on her or worse. Some women do crazy stuff when they feel rejected
I’d tell him asap
OP, how about Option #3?
Tell the next closest person to you on the trip. They will have a vantage poin that can back you up if she is seen side-eyeing you. You will have a witness to the timeframe everything went down if she decides to spin a crazy tale.