I really need advice and kinda of to vent right now.
This year has been the worst year of my life, it started out amazing.
I got a new job in January (last year I was working 2 jobs and still wasn’t making enough to live off).
I signed a lease with my boyfriend.
Put down a deposit for a dog.
I had great supportive friends who I thought would be there for me no matter what.
Then the weekend before Valentine’s Day everything went to shit.
I got a call from a girl claiming she was my boyfriend’s girlfriend and asking who I was…
My boyfriend and I took a break in November to work on ourselves because we were both struggling mental health wise and we got back together in December better than ever… or so I thought.
Turns out in the month we were broken up he had slept with 3 other girls and let one believe they were dating even after we got back together (emotional cheating there was no physical). I found this all out 1.5 weeks before we got the keys to our apartment we were moving in together.
I decided to forgive him after he made a lot of changes in his life, went to therapy (individual and couples). A lot went into my decision but I loved this guy and decided to give him one last chance.
Well, when I told my friends they told me my friendship was overwhelming and they needed “space”. That was shitty thing #1 (I have a longer story about this posted)
2 we are halfway through our lease, and my boyfriend breaks up with me because “he’s not ready for commitment” … should have seen that one coming I guess
To break the lease we would need to pay 3 months rent which I just done have, so his parents gave me half of the fee to break the lease and he had already signed a lease somewhere else.
3, 2 weeks ago I had a colposcopy done and Monday they called me to let me know I have high grade precancerous cells and I have to have a LEEP procedure done.
I just feel like every time I start recovering from one thing, the next thing pushes me back down.
My dog is the sweetest little guy every but he’s a puppy and I’m so overwhelmed with everything in my life that I don’t know if I can even keep him, but then the thought of giving him up also shatters me.
I live in the other side of the world to my family, I’ve lost most of my support this year and I have made great friends but I just don’t know how to see the bright side of anything anymore.
Do I give up my dog? I don’t know how to stop feeling overwhelmed with him but then I would be absolutely shattered to lose him.
I don’t know how to stop feeling overwhelmed and down about everything right now.
I was diagnosed with high anxiety a few years ago and I have pretty bad abandonment issues because of my father being a piece of shit.
Any advice on how to get through this time would be very welcomed.
Comments
You’ve been through so much, no wonder you feel overwhelmed. Don’t be hard on yourself, anyone would. Maybe get some help with the puppy instead of giving him up, and just take things one day at a time.
Take a slow, deep breath
Forget about the bf, don’t waste energy on someone who doesn’t want to be with you & block him
Sit down and create a budget, figure out if you can afford your lease on your own until the lease is over
Give your friends the space they requested, but after a few weeks/months text them asking how they are doing – I don’t know if this is the case but you might have been a little one sided in the support you needed – and that can be exhausting for even the best of friends
Find a therapist to work on your anxiety issues, if you can afford to keep your dog then keep him because that is an awesome emotional support & forcing yourself to go on walks is good for you too
Don’t let your mind go I to overdrive until after the LEEP – yes it is scary, but spending all of your time worrying about it won’t change anything
If you want to read up on the procedure, that makes sense, but put yourself on an info diet for your own mental health and do not go down the rabbit hole on google, webmd, other subs or Facebook groups
Finally, lean on your parents, email & FaceTime when you can
Wishing you the best of luck
A dog is the greatest friend and companion a human can have. They love you unconditionally despite your flaws or mistakes and they provide incredible support. You may not see that at the moment if you’re overwhelmed but honestly a dog will never let you down. If you can afford to definitely keep as it’s a great mental health motivation to go for hikes and trecks and they are great to vent to because they can’t answer back.
I’m sorry you’ve had a really tricky year. We’re nearing the end of 2025 so maybe journal some goals for 2026. Prioritise yourself in these goals maybe do some things you’ve always wanted to! Don’t give up hope remember this too shall pass.
Wishing you a safe and well recovery from your operation, go easy on yourself xx
Oh boy. I’ve had years like this. Please listen to me. First: do not give up your dog. Not matter how overwhelmed you feel or how much of a pain in the ass it is, don’t do it. You’ll regret it. Having a puppy is HARD, I do not blame you for considering this, but please trust me that one day all of this will pass (it will, truly) and you will be so happy you have him. That being said, that guy is an asshole and you’re better off without him. Doesn’t seem that way now but it sure will in 6 months. The LEEP procedure is scary but you will get through it, its good it was caught in the stage it’s in. Bad years like this seem never ending. For me, I blew out a disc in my lower back and couldn’t walk without a cane. Then my beloved, best dog in the world died very unexpectedly in a tragic way. 4 days later I had back surgery. 6 months after that my husband of 15 years left me for my best friend. I got kicked out of my own home and I lost everything. And I do mean everything. It’s four years later now and my life looks completely different. You will be okay. Square up to this, don’t let it defeat you. Get yourself into therapy if you haven’t already. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you’re a tough bitch every day even if you don’t feel like one. This will pass. You’ll be okay. It’ll pass. Keep your dog.
Focus on what you can control, and let go of the rest.
Stop with the pity party nonsense. You are stronger than that!