It was a toxic 5yr relationship that started with friendship and turned to love, then it broke down. He (55M & I’m 54F) just couldn’t keep his temper under control, and his words turned to verbal derogation. It was full of punitive retaliation and complete disregard of feelings. It was verbal abuse. But he thought it was justified behaviour. After trying many times to stand my ground and let him know my boundaries, he always reverted back to just being mean and disrespectful. Here’s seemed to be just a verbal bully.
Here’s the problem. I understand why he is like that. However, I’m just not able to help him mature. I still wish I could reach out to him to make sure he’s ok. What’s wrong with me? Why do I still care? Better question is why can’t I let go, and just be grateful that I’m out, and walk away?
We agreed to no communication and were to walk our own paths. I guess I just need to re-find my confidence and walk away. Right?
TD;LR the good was great but the disrespect was bad.
Comments
Login here to leave a comment
Anytime a romantic relationship starts off as a friendship regardless if you know the person is bad news it ads a layer of complicated feelings it could be your trying to separate who they used to be as a friend and the person they became once things got romantic and now your in a place where not only is the relationship over but then its the reality that the friendship is also beyond repaired thats gotta be hard to come to terms with
>I understand why he is like that. However, I’m just not able to help him mature. I still wish I could reach out to him to make sure he’s ok. What’s wrong with me? Why do I still care? Better question is why can’t I let go, and just be grateful that I’m out, and walk away?
You put 5 years of your life into building the relationship up and trying to help him mature and work through issues. Of course you can’t just turn it off and walk away. Love is more complicated than that. Don’t beat yourself up for having a tough time to walk away. Just stay focused on the fact that things needed to end, invest time and energy into the rest of your life, and when you’re feeling more at ease, move on and find somebody who you don’t need to fix in order to have a successful relationship.