Context: I met this friend in college and we got comfortable with each other real quick we are both virgins and have never had any contact with a man
He has become persistent in seeing me naked he has seen my chest but that’s it but every time I ask him why he says he is curious about female anatomy and want to see it in person I don’t want to show him because I have really bad attachment issues and this would make it worse
He knows this but still asks because he wants to be the first to see and yes he is gay and I am 100% sure i have suggested he ask his other girl friends but he says it has to be me since we are already close like that
my question is this because he wants to have some control over me /power he doesn’t like it when I touch him so I don’t but he says it’s ok for him to touch me because he isn’t attracted he does ask for consent everytime he tries but I always say no
Comments
That sounds like it is about power and really not all that healthy. You shouldn’t have to say no to a request like this more than once if ever, that’s for sure. The next time he asks you, I would tell him that this is the very last time that he will ask and that you will have to say no, or he can find another friend. It feels creepy and manipulative to me, OP. Proceed with caution with this “friend.”
This person is not your friend. Their orientation is irrelevant, they asked to see you naked you told them no. He even knows what a difficult thing this is for you and yet he’s still pushing it.
It is about power and control. Not only should you tell him no but you should really reconsider whether you want him as a friend. I could never ever imagine disrespecting my friends wishes in such a way after they explicitly told me it was making them uncomfortable.
His argument makes no sense either. If he wants to see a real woman naked, he can go to a strip club? Hire a stripper to come to his home if he wants. But he doesn’t want any of that. He wants to see you naked and he doesn’t want to see just any woman naked.
You deserve better friends than this guy.
He’s freaking weird. You need to ditch that dude.
Tell him the internet will satisfy all his vaginal curiosity. He doesn’t need a live model.
If you are uncomfortable with it. Stand your ground as clearly he is crossing a border. He says he is “gay”, but could be bi and have arousal from seeing you naked. I would not
Your “gay” friend maybe Bi don’t succumb to his requests, that’s a game play. It’s also dangerous territory if you have attachment issues. Tell him go get some hoe or google naked woman and it’s no different. He thinks he’s slick! He’s trying I’m the gay bestie angle! Better yet, tell him to fuck off!
Bottom line, you don’t want to be seen naked. Thats all that matters.
My SIL doesn’t even let her sister see her boobs. Meanwhile my wife doesn’t care if her sister sees hers. It just comes down to your own boundaries.
That’s weird and suspicious!!!!! He can not be gay, maybe bi, but a gay guy would never want to see a female naked!! Please be careful around this guy. Being too persistent in wanting to see you naked could be worrisome.
yeah no, i dont think hes gay, best if you don’t let him see your body parts or touch you at all
You said no. You don’t wanna do it. That’s the end of it. It doesn’t even matter what it is or why he wants you to do it. It’s your body and you said no. Done deal
39 year old gay man here.
This is REAL fucking weird. I’m not doubting he’s gay but this is just absolutely not normal behavior. I’d put a lot of daylight between you and this guy. Nothing about this is normal. I promise you.
Recommend him google, or better yet, hit the library for some anatomy books
Yea, I tried that line once…didnt work.
So hes not attracted to you, but wants to see you naked and touch you? Umm..ok. There is a little dichotomy going on there.
IF he is gay, he may have a personal bias towards the feminine, which could explain his fascination with the feminine form, but that doesnt excuse him wanting to violate your personal privacy.
This is inappropriate to impose such an intimate interaction if you are uncomfortable, regardless of who is asking. He only has power over you if you give it to him.
He can Google what a naked woman looks like or he can look at the various platforms with videos of naked women. Please don’t allow yourself to be cajoled or guilted into a situation that you are not comfortable with. It’s tantamount to violation. Be firm and say you’re not comfortable and certain things are kept private, even between good friends.
Bottom line this guy is a weirdo and a creep. You told him no but he keeps asking. Red flag. You can’t touch him but he can touch you. Red flag. Drop this guy.
No is a complete sentence, and you do not have to say why.
Keep telling him “No”.
If he is curious, Wikipedia has lots of pictures. If he’s still curious, have him go to PornHub and look for “Korean Threesome”. There are a couple of clips there where two guys slide a lady’s pants and panties off, then spend 10 – 15 minutes looking at her private parts. (Some internet rabbit holes are more interesting than others.) Those particular clips stay in my memory because of how long they spent looking at, as opposed to using, the lady’s crotch.
Tell him to stop asking. If he doesn’t, drop him from your friend’s list. Gay or straight, he should respect your wishes.
Doesn’t matter if gay or not. A no is a no and if they can’t respect that walk away!!
OP he is not respecting your words, your boundaries, your body and you in general. He’s not your friend.
I think that’s really messed up. I don’t like it at all. I say get away from that guy. Gay has no reliance on this whatsoever.
That guys some kinda freak don’t trust him
You’ve already answered your own question when you said, ” I don’t want to show him bc i have really bad attachment issues.” You just need to find the courage to take your own advice and say NO! Save your body and image for the one YOU want to share it with and believe they want to share with you. Idk why some of us girls have a hard time saying ‘NO’…but bc the guys never do!