So, I was in the mood earlier and was cycling through different thoughts to arouse myself. At some point, I randomly remembered something from when I was 12—this moment where I had asked a friend if I could carry-hug her, and she said no(i was a weird kid). I didn’t think much of it at the time, but for some reason, that memory popped into my head.
At first, I was just going with it, and i thought of things surrounding that when arousing myself but then I started worrying that it might be weird. I changed my thoughts before finishing, but now I’m freaking out because I realized that in my head, I still pictured myself as 12 in the memory. Later in the thought, I thought of someone else—someone I know now but didn’t know when I was 12. I wasn’t really thinking about their age at all, but since I was picturing myself as 12, I’m scared that I accidentally imagined them at the same age, even though that wasn’t my focus at all.
I also wasn’t attracted to the age itself—just the action and situation. But now my brain is spiraling, making me second-guess everything, and I don’t know how to feel about it. I keep thinking, “Did I do something bad? Does this mean something awful about me?”
Someone told me that our brains can sometimes revert to younger versions of ourselves in vulnerable moments, especially if a memory triggers a familiar feeling. They also said that if someone had an intimate experience when they were younger, recalling it later wouldn’t mean they’re attracted to that age, just that they’re remembering how they felt at the time. That made sense, but I’m still panicking. what if i jacked it to a 12yo?
Comments
From what I gather from this post you did not get off from being 12. It seems like you had a memory slip in, like many of us do. I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it, because you did not want to dwell on that age. So it seems to me that you are not a pedo, you just were remembering something that felt good. But not that kinda good, because you immediately thought of something else.