I have two kids, one is 2 and the other is 2 months. I have noticed older white women LOVE to see my baby and have conversations with me in regards to motherhood and the baby when we are out. This happened with my 2 year old when she was a baby and now my two month old.
Genuinely curious, is this a cultural thing with older white women? They’re SO nice and eagerly excited each time. Always asking to see the baby and have baby/motherhood convo.
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White woman , 62, I love babies and small children! Yes I always compliment Moms on their children. Became a grandma and it’s the best thing ever .
White, black, Asian, all moms do this
We take our role as grandma seriously!
But honestly a lot of us just like to talk about babies. I don’t always do that but sometimes I’m just curious about how parenthood has changed in the last 45 years.
They probably just remember what it was like to have a sweet baby that young and are a little melancholy because it goes by so fast. My kids are grown but I have grand babies around and I still notice babies when I see them. I don’t usually engage in conversation with the mother because I don’t want to bother them or come off as weird or nosy but I look at them and smile.
I think a lot of older people are very nostalgic about their time raising children, and in many cases, the current older generation’s kids (millennials) are delaying parenthood, or not having kids at all. My parents were desperate to become grandparents. We live a thousand miles from them and they are relatively consumed by missing their grandkids. We started our family in our late 30s while my parents had kids in their mid 20s.
I don’t know if this is specific to white people in any way, but that’s how I see it as a white parent of young kids.
I’m a white woman 44 with two younger kids of my own, and I will do this. It might be compulsive, but I’m also Midwestern growing up, so I will literally talk to anyone at any time.
I remember how isolating early motherhood was, plus have always worked jobs involving babies. I’m happy to be encouraging, a listening ear, or whatever other support I can give and new/new again parents need. I’m also happy to take a hint if interactions are unwanted!
Also, kids, like dogs, give people an opening to interact. I think older white women feel like they can’t talk to you without it being awkward but they see you have a dog or a baby, they see it as an opening. It’s like wearing “Today is My Birthday!”
Former kindergarten teacher here… fewer kids are being born, for various reasons. I think many mothers feel ( rightly or wrongly) their children won’t have children , so when they see small kids in n public they feel a variety of different strong emotions…
My mother is 77. She misses being a Mommy to babies even after 40+ years of that period passing. She has literally offered to watch all of the neighbors babies while they nap. She remembers how wild of a life transition that is. She would watch anyone’s baby. Hahah she also said when she went 100% white hair that children just gravitate towards her. They see their grandma in her. She just loves it.
I love my kids and others kids. I believe parenting is quite the community bond. We all need some kind words on those hard hard days. Raising little humans is definitely the hardest job I’ve ever had.
If the parents are cold. I don’t continue the conversation or engage the baby. Airports are notorious for crying tired babies and parents. My kids and I tend to cheer up those cranky babies for the happiness of all.
Ah yes and we’re YT 😂
People of all races, genders, shapes and sizes love children. Not all, but a lot.
I‘m not sure it’s just a white woman thing. I’m south Asian 54f. I still have a teen, but he is a long way from the baby years and I love to see babies.
What heritage are you OP? Do women of your ethnicity not comment on your babies?
It’s a baby for goodness sakes! They are cute as buttons and I don’t have to change butts or listen to them scream.
Nothing more fun than a duty free baby.
Agree with a lot of comments but it’s also a pretty safe topic given the current culture. Also I know I’ve been trying to spread more positivity IRL.
I can only speak for myself but I being shut inside for a while thinking about how I could take for granted human interaction has made me more effusive around kids and animals. Or basically anything that isn’t dragging things down.
I remember having my daughter and being thunderstruck with love for her. It was such an amazing and intense experience. I feel happy for new moms and want to support and encourage them.
As a light skinned Black woman I often felt like white women wanted to see my black babies and it felt weird.
I’m 60 and I hated babies until my mid-thirties. I do like to smile at babies and congratulate the mom. I love toddlers, also, so full of personality and curiosity.
Do they show the same interest in the two year old? If not please make sure that they do. Personally though I loved all my babes I would far rather talk about a toddler and up or even talk to the toddler. How wonder how much of the interest is simply to pass on their opinions?
Really you think it’s an old white lady thing?
Because my experience is most people like cute babies.
White woman, 63, not a baby (or children) fan at all 🤷🏼♀️ I guarantee I would try to keep my distance and keep fingers crossed we weren’t sitting next to each other.
Now have a dog with you, I will attach myself to you 😉
I’m a 47 year old white woman (mother and grandmother) and I love children. Especially babies. I’ve basically turned into my mother when it comes to this sort of thing, so yes I’m guilty. Lol
Isn’t it all women?
“White woman” isn’t a culture
I’m 50, childfree, and more interested in dogs than babies
OMG, are you my neighbor? I JUST had a conversation with my neighbor and her three-year old daughter about an hour ago. I’m an older woman. LOL!
Old White lady here. I like kids, they are easy to please and transparent. I feel sorry for moms, particularly young moms who need a little positivity. Sometimes it is nice to be an old lady because we can be nice and talk to anybody. 99% of the time I make a person feel good about themselves and that in turn makes me happy. My grandchildren (teens) aren’t sure if they are amused or mortified. Half the fun!!
I’m white female 62. I won’t necessarily ask to see a baby, but I notice every baby and small child. If I see them looking at me, I smile at them. I might comment to the parent how cute they are but that’s it unless the parent takes the conversation further. I try not to be too annoying. LOL
FWIW I do the same thing with dogs.
I’m 53 and miss my kids when they were babies, so I’m always checking out other babies when I’m in public. I usually just smile and say that they’re cute.
Yeah, I think it’s an older woman who is a mom thing.
I don’t have kids, so while I will coo over your little one, I can offer no motherhood advice. I do oddly enjoy hearing birth stories, though.
I’m disappointed to hear this is culturally a white thing or it might seem that way because they might be the majority in your region, but babies and toddlers are precious and adorable. I personally always try to be complimentary of all children.
I have my own kids and a grand baby. I couldn’t care less about anyone else’s. I’ve only ever had interest in my own. I’d love to meet your dog though.
I don’t necessarily think its a skin color thing more than our kids are grown up or close to it. Babies are awesome. Just a tiny little bundle of joy, giggles, tiny toes and smiles that can brighten the darkest of days. Check back in with us in a few years!
Old white lady here and I just love kids and babies. My 3 grandkids are under 5 but they’re 3 hours away so I don’t see them as much as I’d like. I always admire kids in public.
When my son was a newborn, a beautiful way older lady stopped us. She asked to tickle his toes and told me not to let anyone touch his hands (germs). Then, while she was tickling his toes, she said, “They sure are a whole lot more fun going in than coming out, aren’t they?” 😂 That was nearly 16 years ago now. I am only 49, but when I am “I am shrinking” old I will pass that line on to the next generation.
Because I remember how hard being a mom of an infant and toddler was. How hard it was to take them into public and wrangle them and the groceries. How much it meant when I had been home for a while alone to talk to someone out and about and have them compliment my kids and my parenting when I wasn’t sure I was doing it right. How deeply appreciative I was when my toddler had a meltdown as we were checking out but I needed those groceries for the three people who stopped their days, held the baby and packed up my groceries while I helped the toddler and then pushed the cart out to the car for me. And so I try to pass on those things that helped me then to others.
People keep saying they want a village to see them
and help them and apparently trying to support others like that is just being an “older white woman” and ignoring them would be a more acceptable strategy.
I don’t think so. When my daughters were little, older women of all colors talked to them. But interestingly, twice older black ladies offer money ($5) to my girls. One time, when I was getting coffee, the barista gave my 2 yo a cookie and said the man in front of us had already paid for it lol.
Old white woman here.
OMG we LOVE babies. I don’t know if it’s genetic or what but my mom loved babies. I love babies, my daughter loves babies. I don’t know a white lady that doesn’t love babies.
A coworker of mine brought her newborn to the OFFICE recently and I nearly shrieked! I held back because the cutie was sleeping.
My mom was very intrusive and It might have been the times, she’s a boomer, she just pushed her face right into a baby mommas space and started demanding to see/hold, etc.
I’m genX, I’m respectful, I don’t invade anyone’s space, but I can’t hide my joy whenever a baby is near. I always smile even if I can’t see. If Momma smiles back, I might lean a little to try and take a peek, but if they aren’t receptive I back off immediately.
I am an older white woman and have zero interest in any random child I see out in public. I don’t think it’s cultural so much as societal coercion of women to adore all children.
Yes, 56 year old ww here and I find myself doing this. It just happened, like menopause.
Oh seeing a baby just warms our hearts and we just see the miracle they are and remember out own babies.
Not aware of it being cultural. I might see a new baby and compliment the mama but that’s it and not every time.
Of course it depends on which culture you’re talking about , American, British, Danish ECT.
It’s not racial. It’s motherhood.
I had no idea that women of color do not do this.
It’s a woman thing, anytime a man is out taking care of his child alone, instantly more attractive for some reason😂
I’m a 53 year old whiter than skim milk woman and I avoid babies like they’re grenades with the pin out. I don’t even like the smell of the baby aisle in the supermarket.
So no, this is not a white woman thing.
Doesn’t everyone like babies? They’re precious.
I’m a 51 year old white woman with teens. I will smile at babies and say hi to a small child if the child speaks to me. I don’t tend to randomly engage the mother in chit chat, though.
Try taking any hue of baby to your city’s Chinatown. I was mobbed when my baby was tiny!
I attended college in the Rio Grande Valley, 92% Hispanic. Try walking with a baby around the abuelas. Cooing, admiring, touching them to ward off the evil eye – it’s awesome and heartwarming.
Old white woman here. I’m not the least interested in babies.
My mom does this to the point where I find it weird and off-putting. I think she really misses having little kids and also wants to talk to people and doesn’t know how else to start a conversation. Out of curiosity are you white? I sometimes think it is performative niceness to try and demonstrate how nice and not racist they are. But I guess that’s the more cynical way to look at it; my mom certainly does it with all babies.
I have no idea if this is a thing with just white women. I love to see little kids and babies. I’ll smile at them, and that’s about it, though. I think most parents of young children are very busy and don’t have enough time in the day, so I don’t try to engage the parent unless we’re standing in a checkout line or something. And I never ask to see someone’s baby if it’s covered up in a stroller – I assume the baby is asleep.
When my kids were babies, it felt so nice for someone to recognize how adorable they were. I’m just paying it forward.
I don’t think it’s just a white woman thing, but as a white woman in my 50s with children in their 30s, I can tell you for many of us we’re very unlikely to see grandchildren in light of current cost of living pressures – or if I do I’ll likely be in my 70s. I haven’t felt super moved to have conversation with random babies and mothers at this stage, but I certainly do feel some wistfulness about that fact, and if I was of a different temperament I probably could be one of the people striking up conversations with you as a result.
When you’re closer to one side than the other, a lot of people forget that we were young and full of life once too. Seeing babies is a great reminder that the world keeps going.
What? I think this is a mom thing in general regardless of race. It’s a quick way to connect with someone.
I love babies and telling moms how cute their babies are.
Unpopular opinion: I do think white adults in general and white women in particular respond to black babies and toddlers. There is a racial component. There is this sense that black babies are cuter. More available for public consumption; there is an aspect of difference that is interesting but there is also something wrong with it. Being “cute” after all is to be unthreatening. I think us white people need to think more about our fascination with black children.
We’re just being nice.
I love babies and small children! I try to be encouraging to the parents when I interact with them.
I doubt I’ll ever have grandkids so I gotta get my baby fix with others’ kids.
I think it’s just an older person thing; I’m a white mom of a baby living in Asia and EVERY WOMAN and also a lot of older men want to stop and see the baby and talk about the baby lol. Some older man in Costco last weekend even asked which counter was handing out the cute babies lmao. Also there’s generally a lot of concern that baby is too cold or shouldn’t be outside and they ask if he’s hit his 100 days yet LOL.
We remember how amazing that time in our lives was and love seeing new mamas with their sweet babies. I also tend to talk to moms with little ones because I know the struggles of raising babies and like to give encouragement or suggestions if they ask. It’s all about the sisterhood.
Women of all colors have been doing that since the beginning of motherhood. Some men, too.
I always felt cared for when people stopped to fuss over my baby. Thank you for recognizing my baby is perfect! Thank you for giving me kind, if unsolicited, advice. No, babies do not need to wear bonnets in the summer, but now may I ask you a question? No she’s not yet sleeping through the night. You’ve been there. Thank you for reminding that some days are long but the years are short.
Yes, you can talk with other moms about the highs and lows of parenting. But speaking with someone who has been there, done that, provides comforting reassurance. They were a good enough mom. I don’t have to fret I won’t be.
I like to see babies. Pretty sure my skin color has nothing to do with that, but sure.
I am white and older and I do love babies. I will compliment them and all that, yes.
I am 70 yo. I love babies, but not a big fan of children. Probably because I didn’t have any of my own
White women probably feel non-threatening so aren’t shy to approach strangers
I’m 64 and love seeing babies. Yes I am white, but I honestly think it’s because babies grow so quickly and looking back it was the best time with each of my now grown children, but it goes by so fast!
This is especially common among parents who paid for their kids college and now those kids won’t get married and have grandkids. SMH 🤦♂️
Maybe it’s a maternal “grandma” thing, not even a mom thing.. you said older women. I will ignore the race comment because I don’t think that has any part in the reasoning.
We love to see babies and young children. Its an amazing stage of life and it has been awhile since our own were that young.
Mom of 5 here. I love the babies because my youngest is 12 and I miss those days.
I’m black and it’s majority white women that are the most forward and fawn over my almost 3yr old and 7mo. Occasionally women of other races engage but it’s pretty rare. Only a few men have said hi or that they’re cute.
I’m curious, OP: With what race do you identify?
I would think it’s a mom thing in general. Makes us think of our now teen children when they were babies and we just wanna bask for a moment.
I feel like this is a mom thing not a limited to one race
Of course. You did the most apex peak fun thing in life. The biggest accomplishment ever.
Your baby represents hope. It brings out our highest emotional vibration to see babies.
White grandpa here: 67. Love the little goobers. Kids, and not grandkids, are all grown. I don’t expect any great-grandkids, so I’ll miss out on that.
I think it’s just a mom thing. I’m in the South so it’s normal for this to happen. Especially after my kids all moved out. Seeing a baby gave me an oxytocin high every time.
Listen, I wanna see your baby, I wanna know how birth was. I wanna know how you’re coping. I wanna hug you and tell you it changes and you become more adapt and confident.
It’s a I was there once and I wanna be there helping anyone else doing it cause it is unimaginablely hard.
I’m an old white lady and while I probably think your babies are cute if I notice them, I honestly couldn’t care less about them.
This is so funny because you ask if it’s a white cultural thing but never mention your race lol. Anyway yes old people love kids and babies it takes them back to a more simple time. My parents in their 80’s go crazy for strange kids.
I’m semi old and have 2 grandchildren of my own so I don’t tend to harass strangers about their children unless the children speak or are friendly to me I reciprocate.
My son was born prematurely so he was very small for his age for the first five years of his life. (he is now 6’2” tall) He had these huge eyes that took up almost his entire face plus a goofy grin. And he had a notable disability. It used to freak me out because elderly people would just walk up, ooh and ahhh for several minutes then try and give us money. Sometimes a couple dollars- sometimes $5.00 of even $10.00 (and this was 35+ years ago.) we would protest but they would usually insist and say “buy him something special” or “he is just too precious”. Strangely the last time it happened he was a senior in high school and he was mortified.
Now I am elderly. I don’t go up to total strangers but I always notice babies and toddlers. They just make me happy.
What a strange way of wording the question. Are women of other races are not interested in these conversations?
Grandmas were once moms and they miss the sweetness of baby time too.
I’m a white grandfather and wishing I had more grand babies on the way. So not only mamas. Grandparents also.
I’m a white woman over 50. I love all babies. ❤️
I’m an older white woman and I’m really not interested in babies at all. But since that is not socially acceptable, I try to remember to say something like “Aww what a cute baby” so people don’t think I’m weird.
I never get into conversations but will always tell a mother, in passing, her child/baby is adorable.
My mom (76) and I (58) always smile and watch babies in restaurants and stuff. We were absolutely crying at a baby a couple of weeks ago. Mom and dad were having an intense discussion. Baby (about 18 months)quietly reached up and grabbed the little plastic cup of honey butter(Texas Roadhouse) and just started eating it with his fingers. To be fair, that butter is awesome. But the baby eating it was the best.
Also I have fuchsia and blue hair so Littles are pretty fascinated anyway.
I never had kids, and am not really interested in them. But when I’m in a store or something and see a parent dealing with a fussy baby, I do my best to distract the kid. I wear funny eyeglasses that often fascinate babies, so that helps. The parents often look relieved that 1) I’m not irritated 2) sympathetic 3) doing my best to help without actually interfering by touching, etc.
It’s just natural to be friendly, and babies are so cute!
Babies bring so much joy and hope! Thank you for being polite and allowing older women to share in the beauty and perhaps also the challenges of motherhood. It brings back happy memories of raising a young one. Very kind of you.
This isn’t just a mom thing. I didn’t have kids. I get my Grandma fix however I can!
Could be wrong but dont think black women are like that
I did wait kind of a long time to be a grandma — I had my sons at 22 and 25 and then no grandkids until I was 60. But I don’t remember it being something I thought about very much, I knew my kids weren’t ready until they were ready. However, now that I have grandkids they are my main source of joy.
I enjoy seeing babies and toddlers out in the world, and even wave or smile at them sometimes. However, I’m pretty introverted and not very likely to strike up a conversation with parents of little ones when I am out and about.
I suspect that many women do have some nostalgia for the days when their own kids were little. Even grandkids aren’t babies forever. It’s a magical time of life and when your own kids are little it’s hard to appreciate the magic because you’re so exhausted and busy. So can understand being drawn to talking with young parents about their children just from that place of nostalgia.
I think it’s probably that it’s more socially accepted for women to do it. My husband loves seeing babies, but its a bit more frowned upon for a man to go over and randomly start looking at a woman’s kids and chatting to them. With dogs though, there’s no stopping him 🙂
Heck, both my husband and I have both done this, even while young. When we’re at a park or store, we’re both always aware of where the kids are and help make sure they’re safe, and we always strike up conversations with the parents.
As a previously single mom, I have a special place in my heart for single moms who are struggling. I always try to get their spirits up and do random acts of kindness when the opportunity presents itself (like help out when their card is declined in the grocery line).
I remember a few people saying mean things to me, but I also remember that wonderful anonymous person who paid my tab at a restaurant with a note saying I have a beautiful family. I had just taken custody of my nephew, making me a single mom with three kids under five. I was exhausted and doubting myself, and that person gave me the strength to carry on.
I can’t resist looking at a baby to smile or wave. I raised 3 children and have 2 grandchildren. One regret I have in life is not having at least one more baby.
I’m guessing that an American is asking this.
For a moment they see their own children when they were that age. Their children are now grown and moved on in life, but for just a moment in your child’s eyes and smile, they see their own children and their younger days. Seeing babies are happy memories.
This is a weird generalization
Currently living in Arizona, USA and have a newly turned one-year-old. Our daughter has recieved compliments and lovin’ from every race, women and men, of all ages.
We live in a predominantly white area, so yes, she has received more attention from white people (statistically speaking). However, we were at the zoo the other day and a Hispanic couple in their early forties were all about connecting with and cooing over her.
Some of the people who have approached her have surprised us, not in a negative way. Many boys and young men, of all races, have expressed interest and curiousity. Most, if not all, have stopped to connect, ask questions, or simply smile and wave.
I believe it is a global and natural desire to want to connect with new life.
You gotta get over it. People, not just old, not just white, will like babies. I know it’s quite a reach that your baby actually is liked by everyone and you’re a bit more approachable than normal due to it.
It’s not a color thing, it’s a human thing . Old, young, or orange or blue. What difference does it matter? Culture?
It’s just a person who likes babies, get over yourself to think white people have a special interest because they’re white. WTF is wrong with you that part of your interaction is the oddity?
I think it’s odd you feel that white people are focused on babies because it’s cultural in its methods? No, white people are just the same as others, it’s not cultural at all. Your question is divisive.
As a middle aged white woman, I am now reviewing all interactions with babies. 😂
My only child decided babies weren’t for her, so no grandchildren for me. I respect her decision, but I still absolutely love to see babies!
I’m while & child free by choice. I only comment on babies to be polite.
I read somewhere “You know babies are magical because every time you see one it’s like the first one you’ve ever seen”.
I think most women are appreciative of all the work producing and caring for a baby takes.
I’m a grandma. I want to see and gush over ALL the babies!!
Yes, I am fortunate to have at least one granddaughter. Wish I had more grandchildren. But whenever I see a baby or toddler, I go nutz. It brings us back to when our own were babies. Not sure about women who never had kids, though. They will surely chime in.
It’s a mom things, skin color has nothing to do with it.
If there was a baby or puppy, my wife would have to hold it.
When the situation is appropriate, I absolutely ask new moms about their babies and try to engage the little ones with peekaboo and smiles if the parent is cool with it. I never try to touch, of course. It just delights me no end to see the newness of the world again.
Older white woman here. I have never, and will never coo over a baby, ask to see one, talk about it, or otherwise engage.
I have never once in my 60 years held a baby nor changed a diaper. Nor do I want to.
Am I the exception that proves the rule?
I can’t answer as I’m half white and Asian lol 😆 I definitely wave at babies staring at me and give new moms the baby compliments because babies are all adorable 💕
Yeah, 2 kids old white women here, and nope, I won’t ever do this to another person. Couldn’t stand it when my kids were little.
I don’t think it’s a white thing. I think it’s an older mom thing. Our kids are adults and raising them was one of the most important times in our lives. We miss it and are reminiscing
Some of us are not blessed with children or grandchildren. So we want to talk about your baby because we don’t have any cute babies to look at and play with
My kids could never figure out why I always stopped to admire babies. Then my daughter became a mom and suddenly got it 🥰
We want to hold a baby and have a litter with the right person.
United states
Shit, I do this and I’m a dad
I’m an older white woman who can’t resist babies and small children.
Babies and children and pets are the light of the world, and bring us joy. Of course we love to see them. I suppose that white women may feel more free to fuss and impose themselves on strangers, because of our privileged position in society.
It’s a universal mom thing.
Moms, especially those who can’t have more babies of their own, love talking to other moms about their babies. I love babies, as do all the other moms I know. I think it’s built into our DNA.
I’m an old white lady with an old black lady best friend. We both love interacting with babies, we do t have grandchildren yet either:)
O heck no! It’s got nothing to do with whiteness! People go ga-ga over babies no matter what color they are. Seems like they can’t quit talking about older children, too. It’s actually disappointing that they talk so much about children that they avoid talking about themselves. I joined a group of women in a sewing group and their children and grandchildren was ALL they talked about. Drove me nuts.
It’s a mom thing, and may be a woman thing. I think it’s hormones and combined with the fact that babies are so stinkin cutteee!!!! And all us moms like to reminisce about when our kids were little babies. So that’s probably why they are telling you how they did things with their kids. I wouldn’t take it too personally unless someone is straight up telling you that you’re doing something wrong with your child. Then I’d tell them to gtfo!!!
I’m an old white lady. I love Littles so much that I went to work at a preschool after I retired! I think most moms love tiny kids, though!
I can’t help myself. I love the babies
I’m an older white woman, and I think babies are universally wonderful. I agree about that new baby smell, too. I thought it was a universal trait, though.