Today I won $20 in a bet all because MIL and her DARVO BS is absolutely predictable. My DH injured his back and had to have surgery and of course his son told MIL. He has been NC for a while. Anyway, I bet a family friend who knows how she is, $20 that she would send him a card and it will somehow be about her. It arrived today! It was an actual Get Well card, and she wrote 2 lines : “I hope you continue to improve. I too am considering a surgery . Love Mom”.
DH saw it for what it was and ripped it up and threw it in the outside garbage because we don’t bring that energy into our house. But seriously? Why would a mother send a get well card to her injured son and put the spotlight on her POTENTIAL mystery surgery?
I should have bet $100.
Edit to add: Give me your best translation of what she REALLY meant!
Comments
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP’s needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don’t be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
^(Full Rules) ^(|) ^(Acronym Index) ^(|) ^(Flair Guide)^(|) ^(Report PM Trolls)
Resources: ^(In Crisis?) ^(|) ^(Tips for Protecting Yourself) ^(|) ^(Our Book List) ^(|) ^(Our Wiki)
Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL!
I’m botinlaw. I help people follow your posts!
^(To be notified as soon as protectingpeace79 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe protectingpeace79 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) ^(click here.)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please) ^(contact the moderators of this subreddit) ^(if you have any questions or concerns.)
Narcissists can make everything about themselves. That’s how they survive.
Translation: “Everyone is paying special attention to you and I can’t stand that, so I’m going to save money by doing the publicly expected thing of sending you a card while also hinting about a medical condition of my own in an effort to siphon off some of that attention.”
Note how she never stated what her surgery was for, leaving it just vague enough to make people worry. She’s not actually sick, she’s not even getting a procedure done. All she wants is to draw the sympathy and attention away from her son and back to her.
“I’M a caring and loving mother, unlike you who ignores ME and doesn’t consider that I have things going on in my life, too! Families are supposed to care, so I’ll tell you enough about my surgery and in your state you should be able up empathize and reach out to check on me!”
My take:
I hope you continue to improve (because you’re not being a good son, you need to fawn all over me.)
I too am considering a surgery (probably not but I want you to worry about your poor old mother, who might be dancing on the precipice of death and so, I’m giving you an invitation to “improve” by paying attention to me.)
But I could be wrong and I had a run in with the JN in my life today so I’m really fucking cranky.
Whatever her meaning, congrats on winning your bet and even more congrats DH tossed the bait in the trash. Best wishes to him for a full recovery.