Getting diagnosed with lupus might be the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I had several mini-strokes in 2023, and was ultimately diagnosed with systemic lupus erythematous. It was attacking my central nervous system and had caused spontaneous deterioration in one of my main arteries.

My job decided I could work from home permanently since my doctor told me I needed to avoid driving when possible. Working from home felt weird at first and I would stress myself out over how wrong it felt. I was always sending emails and sticking my nose in places it probably didn’t belong, just to prove I was actually working and not just sitting at home being lazy. As a hardcore, life-long introvert, being granted the privilege to work from home has been surreal.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. We went through a really rough patch in 2018-2019 and a lot of trust was lost, but I think I’ve finally managed to heal and forgive. I’ve felt more loved by him since my diagnosis than I ever have, and our bond has never felt so solid. My daughter has even joked that my health decline was the best thing that could’ve happened to our relationship. The last two years have been really dark and scary at times, but he’s been an absolute beast in the area of caretaking.

There’s always been an abnormal amount of turmoil between me and my mom’s boyfriend. To say we hate each other is an understatement. So around 7 years ago, he forbid my mom from having any kind of relationship with me, and we went no contact. When the TIA’s started, he actually tried to convince her that I was faking it at first. Fortunately, it was a huge wake up call for her and she finally put her foot down and told him that he wasn’t going to force her to choose anymore.

We’re not as close as we used to be, but I’m finally starting to get over some of my abandonment issues. It’s so confusing being an adult woman crying in bed unable to form any other words besides “I want my mom.” I’ve missed my mom more than anything and not having her fucked me up pretty good.

I finally paid my car off in January and have been able to do some splurging on myself and even opened up a savings account. Of course there’s not much in there yet, but the balance grows a little more each week and I’m so excited to see what it will look like a year from now. Money is probably the thing that used to stress me out the most. Not checking my account balance every single day and no longer panicking about money has to be the highest high that there is in the world (this one doesn’t really have anything to do with lupus, it’s just something that happened around the same time as my diagnosis that contributed to my newfound complacency).

I was always on the thinner side as a kid and in my 20’s. But around 5 years ago, I began finding a great deal of comfort in food and eating, and had gained about 50 lbs. Out of embarrassment, I started avoiding seeing people that I knew, rarely bothered getting dressed up for date nights, and had basically been living in sweatpants and oversized men’s t-shirts. I didn’t want to accept the fact that I’d gotten fat by purchasing fat-girl clothing. Plus by that point, I really didn’t care what I looked like anymore anyway. I felt like crap all the time and desperately wanted to feel healthy again, so about 3 months ago, I bit the bullet and decided to take a chance on Ozempic to see if it could help pull me out of this dietary rut I’ve allowed myself to fall into. I really don’t think I would’ve bothered with it if I hadn’t had any health issues.

It really is a miracle drug. I’m 18 lbs. lighter today than I was a couple of months ago. It’s been so freeing not sitting around daydreaming about what I get to shove into my mouth next. And the breathing problems I had previously attributed to asthma have almost completely disappeared. I actually have the energy to work out most days now, and I get turned off by all the sugary garbage and comfort food that I used to be so in love with. My last spinal tap showed a significant decrease in spinal inflammation, which according to new studies, might be linked to the use of Ozempic.

My life has honestly never been better. The change has been unbelievable. Sure, life isn’t perfect, and having lupus isn’t exactly a picnic, but somehow I’ve stumbled into this level of satisfaction that I didn’t think was attainable. I spent a good chunk of my life in anticipation of hitting rock bottom. I was never full-blown suicidal, but sometimes I’d get a little too giddy at the thought of being involved in some kind of fatal accident. And it all just kind of went away.

I’ve found true contentment. I never thought I’d live to see a day where I would be able to say “I’m okay,” and honestly mean it.