Me (22M) and her (21F) (6 years) moved in together about 1.5 years ago. We were long distance before that and we moved into our parents house. We both agreed this was a big mistake because my mom was acting out of control towards her and making her feel worse as the days went on. At the start of July we finally got the opportunity to move into our own apartment and everything was literally perfect. It felt like we had worked through the issues and gained independence because we both agreed that being in my parents house was causing us a lot of stress and disconnect. At the start of September she went to Florida to see her family for the first time in over a year. Admittedly I was being stressful over the phone because we’ve come off a lot of issues and we both agreed we had fixed them and made plans for our new apartment, got pets, bought a lot of stuff she explained her plans for school and everything else. She was only supposed to be gone a week but she didn’t want to come home and missed her flight on purpose. That was okay I understood it because she hasn’t seen her family in a while. That ended up turning into 3 weeks.
We kept arguing over the phone and text because I cannot properly do this over the phone and I think it led to a point where she just stopped caring. I explained how I felt hurt because I just wanted to talk in person about all of this because we have invested so much money and time into this and we can try to find a compromise. Every time I tried to explain that she would get mad at me and stop talking to me. She finally came back today to get her stuff and we sat down and had a really constructive conversation for the most part. She wouldn’t really let me express my emotions about our relationship and wouldn’t respond to any of it. I just don’t understand because everything was perfect and it snapped and it’s all gone. I suffer from BPD so I can be really erratic and unpredictable but she loved me for who I was. Nobody else got me like she did and she turned so cold and didn’t wanna talk about anything and just left me here with an apartment I cannot afford and pets I can’t really take care of. She said she still wants to be friends and she’s been talking to me first already.
She has already said plans on how we can do something together in the future. I don’t know what to do because she committed to so much then just threw it all away in my face and acts like she wants to be friends and stuff, she even said to her grandma that we needed each other. I don’t know what to do because I feel like she wants to continue it but she’s going through so much and doesn’t wanna talk about anything at all. I guess I’m just looking for help in this situation because I don’t know what to do. I want to give her like 3 months and then attempt to reach out about this again but I don’t know. I’m struggling so hard because she’s just so special as a person and she’s been with me through everything. We cannot even go no contact because she still owes money to break the lease and all this other shit.
TL;DR Girlfriend went on vacation and turned cold after a week and wants to move out and break up. Didn’t wanna talk about anything when we had just made a huge commitment that will have repercussions for both of us. But still wants to remain friends because she said we needed each other