y girlfriend went overseas with another female friend and 2 guy friends. So total there was 4 people, 2 guys and 2 girls. And they went clubbing together, it was her first time and as I have never went clubbing before, i felt very uneasy. However, when she came back, I asked her what she did in the club and her stories were very inconsistent, initially she said it was 3 girls and a guy, she went home early, and she didn’t drink. After further persuasion, she admitted to me that it was 2 girls and 2 guys ( including her ), she went home at 4am and she drank and played dice games with the other guy friends where the loser had to take shots. I can’t help but feel like something was off due to her inconsistent story. I don’t know how to feel about this. Can I get some opinions on how i should handle this situation? đ
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That ainât your girl lmaooo
When she initially told you it was 3 women it was because it otherwise looks like a double date.
That lie should give you the leverage to ask more questions.
If you want to. If you donât trust her you should just leave her.
WellâŠ.. sorry to say but if she is lying over something like this, what other truths is she not telling you. Is she trickle truthing you about what went on at the club and after?
Somethings not right and she has broken your trust. The question for you is can it be regained? I guess at this point all you can do is sit down with her and have an adult discussion. If she veers into youâre being insecure and controlling, you have your answer. Make sure you write your questions down beforehand as it could be ugly. Sorry this happened to you OP.
How long have you been with her?
Something fishy is going on and you should be trusting your gut for once. Either she is willing to have a long talk with you about what happened, or not. You should demand what *really* happened, and if she refuses to give in, you’ll show some self-respect and get out of that relationship.
If she chooses to be honest, it doesn’t mean that you have to let things slide. Either you’re okay with what happened (which likely will be physical and emotional stuff that would cross any healthy boundary) or you’re not. If not, you tell her that this broke your trust and that you can’t look at this relationship the same way anymore.
A word of advice, women going clubbing without you is an extreme red flag, and you shouldn’t be leaving your loyalty up to fate either. Either you have standards or you don’t, and if you have some slight bit of self respect, you should leave her if she cheated on you.
Why would you let your gf go over seas with 2 dudes without you lmao
You don’t trust her. Whether she gave you a reason to or not, you do not believe or trust her. Break it off, because that’s not healthy. If she did do something wrong, find someone who doesn’t cheat. And if she did nothing wrong, she’s better off if you end things now because she doesn’t deserve to be questioned forever because you can’t trust her.
So just do it. Clean break, move on. You’ll both be happier for it in the end.
Sounds like sheâs on a couples trip. UpdatemeÂ
Your problem is you are insecure she is having new experiences. You didnât have a problem with her travelling with these friends but she goes into a club with them and all of a sudden you are suspicious and questioning her behaviour.
She probably didnât like your weird questioning about what she did. Drink and dance is the usual activities. Do you not want her drinking or going out at night if you arenât there?
If she was going to cheat with these friends, clubbing would not be the cause.
Let me start here, 1st your girlfriend went on a couples trip with someone else. If that wasn’t what it was then why weren’t you invited?? 2nd your not stupid your on reddit trying to find someone to tell you it’s ok and everything will be ok right… well you already know what happened and what you have to do is leave that ho bag and get free before she scams you for more.
My ex used to go clubbing without me too, she fucked other people behind my back. Wake up mate.
đ© you have got to know better. Come on dude seriously
She probably doesnât remember all that well⊠she may have cheated⊠maybe not. Only way to tell is how much you trust her.
Reading the comments, op has his head in the sand.
Why not go with her??
Iâve been in your shoes before. If I could go back in time, I would have told myself to leave way sooner. Have a back bone and some self respect and donât tolerate their behavior.
I loved the idea of my ex, I didnât really like who she was, but I made myself look past her shitty behavior because she was âhotâ and I thought I was in love.
I was exactly 23 when I moved out of her place. Being single was so fun, and I met a lot of real cool people. Everything happens for a reason. And while things suck at first after a break up, it gets better everyday.
Hmmm
You were ok with her to go overseas with her gf and two guys
Your gf is experiencing new things and freedom – clubbing with the people that you approved
You donât go clubbing.
Your gf enjoyed clubbing
Both of you are young
Trust you gut, mate. It’s always correct. It’s not just a feeling. You feel like that because you’re reacting to the situation and her mannerisms around you. Even if nothing happened, she’s already trickle truthing you, which means there was intent for bad behaviour and she’s trying to cover it up.
She doesn’t want to talk about it because she banged another dude and is also apparently a terrible liar. No talking means no trying to keep lies straight.
Oh hell nah, she definitely is cheating brother. Sorry to say.
 đ
You lost her, sheâs overseas dating.
Dumb this fool now and move on
Good luck man. Hopefully the truth comes out eventually
Trickle truthing js a major red flag. Youâre young and you guys have no trust left. Why force the answers and attempt the miserable process of rebuilding the trust.
I canât tell you how you should behave. But if it were me, Iâd just end it, not further back and forth and no hashing it out.
I learned the hard way how people who trickle the truth are. Donât put yourself through that and donât dig deep on explanations.
If she doesnât want to talk about it, you donât need to either. But donât let her magically come around to discussing if you make the decision to end it.
Rip the band aid and leave without looking back or being wishy washy.
Get an std test too
Clubbing with a friend group involving guys till 4am is a red flag,
But even larger red flag is the inconsistent stories like “initially she said it was 3 girls and a guy” “she went home early, and she didn’t drink”,
these are not things someone forgets, this is her lying to you, and that shows a big lack of respect towards you,
the lying and deflecting makes me wonder what happened at best she could have had a moment with one of the dudes, at worst she could have made or full on cheated.
> she just doesn’t want to answer me and gets mad at me which leads to me ending up comforting her instead
you’re problem here is trying to fix her emotions, which is how she manipulates towards you
Picture this, If a guy friend of yours wrecks your car, then lies about it, and you demand an explanation, and instead of answering he pouts and pretends to cry, would you comfort him, or tell him to cut the shit?
You’re in this relationship with her, your emotions also matter, and if she thinks you’re not owed an explanation then break up with her! not for anything shady (as you cannot be 100% sure), but for not giving you basic respect that a partner deserves.
Why does it matter what she did if she comes back to you. Is your ego so fragile that you canât handle her having a good time if guys are involved? Give her space and if she comes back to you, you know thatâs where she wants to be. If she decides that she doesnât want to come back to you then thatâs the way it is meant to be. You freaking out about it is very unbecoming and will influence her decision..