Yesterday I woke up at 7 am with the baby while my girlfriend slept. I planned to go back to bed after taking care of her and got up to feed her then changed her. After this I realized I wasn’t that tired anymore and decided to go down stairs with the baby and game for a little while letting my girlfriend sleep in. My baby is 4 months old and she has gotten mad before but it feels like it’s controlling in a way regarding me gaming. Mind you my niece and nephew came to visit for 2 months over the summer and I have not been gaming at all during this time so I thought it would be okay to get a few hours on the game while she slept and I took care of the baby. So we went downstairs and I played with her for a little and then when she got fussy I swaddled her and laid her in my lap and she fell asleep while I gamed. At about 12:30 the baby woke up and I went upstairs to feed her and get her changed at which point I saw my girl was awake cleaning the small mess from me making dinner for us last night( a few plates and foil on some baking sheets) I said good morning and could tell immediately she was upset. She asked me to take the dogs out I already had when I got up but it was time again anyway so I did, so after doing that I made her some coffee and sat on the couch with her. She asked if she had been fed and I said I just came up to get her another bottle and then she asked when she had last been changed and I said when we woke up, again she’s been sleeping the last 3-4 hours and she blew up saying I was neglecting our daughter to play video games and that I need to pack up the console or she would give it away on Facebook marketplace. I didn’t want to argue so I just said okay fine whatever and went downstairs unplugged the system and tucked it away in the closet thinking it’s over. She treated me awful all day thereafter including silent treatment and being rude until we finally went to sleep. I slept downstairs cause she locked me out of the room when she went to bed. Then this morning I thought we were good and had moved passed it but she asked if I boxed up the console and sealed it with tape which I thought was ridiculous to which I said no but it’s unplugged and put away. She said okay that’s it you had your chance I told you to pack it away and you didn’t so I’m selling it today which started an argument and I told her no you’re not. She then said either I can make money on it or she would break it and I would be out entirely on it my choice and I responded and said do it and see what happens to our relationship. She said okay cool and proceeded to break EVERY CONSOLE I OWN. She started immediately slamming the switch 2 into the stairway banister then went downstairs and threw my switch original into the floor shattering it then unplugged the ps3, 4 and slammed them into the ground. The only one she didn’t was the ps5 because I refused to tell her where exactly it was. She then refused to let me leave until we talked about it which I didn’t want to because what is there to talk about and she refused to leave me alone finally she said she was leaving but trying to take my truck which is mine we are not married and I had this before I met her and she doesn’t have a vehicle ( she doesn’t work she’s a stay at home mom and any new vehicle is a financial decision for me to make and we’re not there yet). I wouldn’t let her and she said I have two options 1, to put my baby in the truck with her so she can leave or she would go destroy my truck. The entire time I’m trying to deescalate this but it’s not working and then she made the threat that her names not on the lease so any damage to the home I’d be responsible for. I finally got her to calm down and get out of the truck and chill out but this is where I’m at. I need to separate it don’t know where to start, can anyone who’s been through this provide any insight on how to handle this or go about things?
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lawsuit. breakup. therapy.
…. your not married. Who owns the house/lease?
In all honesty you need to break up with her ASAP and I would press charges on her if I were you. Breaking your things is unacceptable and she needs some type of consequence to know that this behavior is absolutely not cool.
I’d call the cops on the fucking nut and take my kid from her violent abusive crazy ass.
Paragraphs dude. Jesus.
Destroying your property is abuse. So dump her, take the baby, and let her figure her situation out.
She’s a psycho. Call the cops. She can’t be destroying your stuff.
Probably you can get a restraining order.
You can literally press charges on her for that and this screams domestic violence … the cops usually take the guys side so you shouldn’t have issues – coming from a female
I don’t have any advice but just wanted to say I wish you luck! She sounds to have some serious issues it’s never ok to break other people’s things. I don’t see a problem with how you handled the morning. It sounds like she wanted to find something to be mad at you for instead of being grateful you let her sleep in and took care of your baby. I wouldn’t give her or let her have anything when you part, she sounds ungrateful
At this point I’d be telling her that the next thing she deliberately destroys will involve a call to the police and a report filed against her for property destruction. Ask her how she thinks that will look in a custody battle? Does she have any family she can move in with?
Best advice is to contact a lawyer and follow their advice. For now you need to document everything. Take pictures of the destruction. Get security cameras if you don’t already have them.
Take the baby and leave.
Imagine what would happen if the baby sets her off.
I would call the police and press charges on her. I would also file for custody of the baby. That is scary that she has a temper like that and she’s a mother? She had no right to destroy your property no matter how she felt about it. There were better ways to handle this situation. Do you want to be with someone who treats you this way? From what you said here she should have little reason to be THAT angry at you.
seriously the moment she does this you need to call the cops, she destroyed your property and threatened to destroy your vehicle. and honestly make sure you start having cameras set up in common areas in case this happens again.
Also, are you guys living in a town where it’s close and she can walk to stores and stuff? how does she leave the house for outside time, grocery shopping, stuff like that?
Ok FIRST of all –
Only you can answer these questions:
Is this out of character for her? If yes, she could be suffering from Post Partum Depression and she needs help. (Think the women that drown their babies).
If this ISNT out of character for her then what the hell are doing with her? Sorry – not helpful – then tell her this behavior is NOT ok and the only way she can continue living with you is she needs therapy and it’s non negotiable.
Record conversation and outbursts because she could try to turn everything around on you. That way if she threatens to take the baby and you’ll never see the baby again – you’ll have it recorded and that will help you with custody.
Small claims court.
OP, if you were listening to a friend tell you this story, what would you tell them? A brother, a sister? Would you tolerate this behavior if your nephew came to you and told you this stuff? Set a good example for your daughter and lose the extra weight. Both your lives will be better.
4 months old baby, welp, your stbx may still going through some PPD, some people have it more severe than others.
And if she’s been volatile before, it can get exacerbated. It can be dangerous.
You need to separate with her. The likelihood is, she may take the baby with her.
Do you know her family/friends? How about you? Contact the ones who can be your impartial witnesses when you do request her to move out.
Safeguard expensive stuffs of yours so that she didn’t get to them, heck if you can, get a storage space for you.
Next time she becomes violent, you need to call the police.
Call the police. Get a custody agreement going and then kick her out, so she can’t run with the kid.
Honestly bro if this isnt fake either call the cops and press charges because its $1000 in damages or throw her out and keep the kid. Theres another option id default to because she needs it but i aint tryna get banned on here but thats always on the table for this behavior
Have you considered getting a restraining order against your girlfriend? If she has been physical with you before and you have a police report documenting it, you should be able to get a restraining order.
I’d call the police over the damage, and get a lawyer and try to get custody of your baby. Someone that unhinged should not be taking care of a child.
Call the cops, break up and please use paragraphs for god sake.
(The paragraph thing is the most important btw)
Bro I’m telling you either report the domestic violence incident and have her kicked out or take your baby and move out and be a single father. If this nutjob ends up with your child she will be an abusive parent and she will use the kid as a weapon against you. She won’t change, she will only get worse.
Shave he eyebrows
This beyond repair. Her behavior is totally unacceptable.
I get her being annoyed that you were gaming but you didn’t ignore baby and you still took care of her between games.
The fact she thought this was acceptable behavior, is beyond my comprehension. Shes threatening what she will do if she doesnt continue to get her way. Id document and video this. If she clams up, thats because she knows shes in the wrong.
I wound count my losses and kick her out.
Don’t try to take the baby or kick her out without a damn good lawyer telling you to ( they won’t).
The advice on this thread is going to get you thrown in jail.
Press charges on the abusive nut.
Seriously.
At least talk to the police and have a paper trail so when she starts abusing the kid too its easier to get custody and keep your kid safe.
You file a police report, hire an attorney and file for custody. File a small claims court suit as well for the damaged items.
Holy fuck, this is so clearly abuse. That baby should NOT be raised in that environment.
As a single man in his 30s, this unhinged behavior terrifies the fuck out of me.
I’m sorry OP you are dealing with this. This is domestic abuse, plain and simple
TAKE PICTURES OF ALL THE WRECKED CONSOLES as evidence. Speak with a lawyer and file a restraining order and file for full custody of your daughter. Call a Marshall and get them to escort her out of the place. Change the locks. Go on social media and tell everyone your side of the story before she takes control of the narrative and threatens to have you arrested for violence against her. Put a Ring camera on your front door, indoors as well if she ever comes to visit.
Take the offence OP. Don’t let her get the upper hand. Freaking go nuclear for the sake of your daughter.
In many states, a protection order restraining order will also give you temporary custody over the child. This will give you time to talk with an attorney and work on more permanent custody arrangements.
She is abusive and kind of crazy.
She absolutely has some postpartum hormone issues right now but this is honestly wild and too much. She needs help and you and the baby need to get somewhere safer.
Postpartum time without family is SO DAMN HARD!! It could be Depression/psychosis too, but have you taken care of the baby for a few days ALONE?? If you have not taken care of the baby, the house, feeding/bathing/changing, getting up at night, grocery shopping, laundry, on your own… You have NO IDEA how hard it is.
Being the “assistant parent” who ‘helps out’, is not even close.
Was the abusive type of behavior typical before or after the baby?
That could help determine if this is who she is vs postpartum…
Either grow up and step up, get her the mental health assistance she needs, get couples counseling, or split up (but if you haven’t taken care of the baby alone, this will be a vacation for her and you will be in for a HUGE wake-up). And wth is an almost 40 yo man doing gaming for HOURS!????