So I’m in a bit of a pickle. I’m on the other side of the world away from home. My partner is from Columbia originally. At some point when they were teenagers, their family moved to Australia. My girlfriend decided to move to the UK for university and has lived here since. The whole point of this trip was for her to catch up with her family. Using fake names here.
We’re staying with Stephanie and Ross. Last night or the night before. Ross came out to before we went to bed to show us how to adjust the heating because it’s a weird set up in their house. The panel sometimes locks and you need to do something. It’s beside the point. He had very noticeable lipstick on his neck and collarbone. Whatever.
My girlfriend has this weird hang-up about it because she doesn’t think her sister should be doing that when they have guests. And somehow she wants me to talk to Ross about this. And I just know how this would go. She keeps bringing it up and I don’t know what to do. How do I handle this?
“TL;DR:” Girlfriend wants me to talk to her sisters boyfriend about being intimate.
I’m
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You can’t make demands of people in their own home.
Tell her to talk to her sister if she wants, but you don’t expect it to be well received.
It’s her sister. She should talk to her sister.
Tell her to get over it or deal with it herself.
Pretty rude to think she dictate what others do in their own home.
Mate, if her issue is with her sister, why are you being sent into the lion’s den with Ross? You’re not the intimacy police, and this isn’t your house or your hill to die on. If it’s bothering her that much, she needs to have that conversation with her sister directly not delegate it to you like you’re the household manager. You’re already a guest trying to be respectful; don’t get dragged into some awkward family dynamic you didn’t sign up for.
Your girlfriend needs to be a big girl and speak to her sister herself
That’s a crazy demand. It’s even crazier when you realize that you are at her sister home but she wants you to be the one to make crazy demands for her . She is out of her mind and imho it’s a huge redflag
You tell your GF to mind her own business. Refuse to do this, it will not go well.
Not your place. You’re a guest and it’s not your sister. If she wants to talk to her then that’s her choice, but it’s pretty ridiculous to expect someone to live by your rules in their home.
Your gf is a wacko. Do not say anything
>How do I handle this?
By telling her “no.”
You are allowed to disagree with your girlfriend and say no to requests that violate your sense of propriety.
It is objectively rude to try to intervene in what people do in their own homes. You are the guests: you’re the ones who should leave if you’re u comfortable.
So, tell you girlfriend you’re not going to do this and you’d like her to stop asking. Offer to go to a hotel if you guys can afford it, or to cut your visit short.
You don’t have to convince her she’s wrong, you just have to make clear that you’re not willing to do this.
“If it’s so important to you, tell her yourself, it’s YOUR sister ffs. Also, you’re paying for the hotel when we get kicked out.”
The answer to your gf is haha- nah I won’t be doing that.
If she has a problem with her sister‘s behavior, she talks to her sister.
Your SO putting it on you to talk to Ross (like is this a Man Thing and Ross is in charge of their intimacy?) smells a little sexist
and
say No. This is a Her problem.
Tell her if SHE has an issue with this SHE needs to take it up with HER sister. This isn’t your issue. This isn’t your family.
It would be incredibly rude for you to take this issue to Ross. It’s his home, that he is kindly letting you two stay in. And you and he aren’t really anything to each other. Had the two of you even met before this trip?
Your gf needs to either suck it up or bring it up with her sister. If she chooses to talk to her sister I hope you’ve got money put aside for a hotel, you may need it. If I was putting someone up in my home and they asked me something like that I’d be showing them the door.
GF has lost her mind trying to dictate what people do in their own home. She could’ve paid for a hotel instead.
Absolutely not. This is not your home, your sister, or your problem in any way. Your girlfriend needs to be an adult and talk to whoever she wants to, although she’s likely to be told point blank that it’s not her business.
Why is he letting adjust the thermostat?
There is more going on in your GF’s mind than you know. But this is a conversation between sisters. I would ask your GF what is her hang-up. Most people keep it down if they are intimate in their own home with guests. In either case, its not your place to “put in a request”. Speak to your GF and get to the bottom of this issue. Let her speak to her sister.
Your GF is an idiot
No. A whole complete sentence.
Oh wow she’s setting you for failure here my dude. You’re an outsider. Staying in someone’s house. She’s her sister if she has a problem she can confront her.
Just remember even if it goes wrong they’re sisters they will get over it. Whereas with you, it’s going to be held against you forever.
Your gf has issues!! Say no and let her deal with them! You can’t tell someone what they can and can’t do in their own home!
That’s none of your business as guests. Period. You’re gonna be under THEIR roof.
You don’t get to make demands.
If your girlfriend is that hung-up on this issue, she needs to get a hotel room.
So she won’t talk to her own sister about it but she expects you to talk to him? Nah I wouldn’t because they can always tell you to go stay somewhere else if your so uncomfortable
1- it’s her sister, she’s the one who needs to talk to them
2- it’s their home, unless they’re doing it in shared spaces, your gf is out of place
lol. She can speak to her sister if she wants to make a request.
But really, it’s silly. You cannot dictate when people should or should not be intimate in their home.
Honestly this is a no win situation for you lol. Do not speak to her sister about this.
Best option? Sit her down and explain that you can’t tell people what they can and can’t do in their own home. You are guests. They are doing you a favour by welcoming you into their home. It would be disrespectful to make the request she is asking you to make. It’s also weird she wants you to talk to her own sister about it, instead of bringing it up herself. If she has that big of an issue, suggest you get a hotel room instead.
Get a hotel, problem solved.
Its her sister’s home, and you are guests. Neither of you have any right to ask such a thing.
It’s her sister. If she has a problem with this she should talk to her own sister about it.
She should also lighten up.
Their home, their rules. She’s way too grown to be meddling in other people’s business like she owns the place, and for all we know they could’ve just been kissing? Like playful “hehe I got lipstick on you” sort of stuff. If it bothers her maybe y’all can find a hotel or AirBnB, or stay with another family member. I’m hard pressed to believe they’re having wall shaking, ear shattering sex though?
If she wants that she can ask her sister, why tf would U as the bf ask her sister? She wants u to take the backlash
get a hotel or keep your mouth shut
It’s their home and you are their guests. Not your place to say anything about what they do in their own home.
Say no, then break up with her.