So obviously an ffm threesome is every man’s dream and I want to do it of course but the issue is that my gf’s best friend had just recently gotten out of a relationship. A relationship from a guy who I’m actually good friends with. All I know is that it wasn’t a bad break up and that they’re both still amicable with each other. Which makes this feeling of guilt a lot worse for me if I went through with it. Not really sure if this is a good idea or not honestly. I’m debating whether or not to let my friend know?
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You’re 21, now a they time for those types of experiments. You’ll regret not doing it when you’re 45 and tied down
i’m sure your friend wouldn’t turn down that opportunity if it was displayed for him on a plate
Tell him. Better to see what his reaction would be before the fact than after, assuming that staying his friend is the priority.
Threesomes can be fun, but they are not life-changingly wonderful.
Bad idea. You’ll see that friend many times more. It’s better to do it with someone you won’t see as often if you feel like you really have to do it
Friends come and go but threesomes are forever
While a lot of guys come to fantasise about them threesomes aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be.
In this case yeah, you have a lot of potential social ramifications. But also note your girl was pretty quick to jump in bed with a friend like that, that might be a side eye by itself. And what if it ends up just being the two of them, what if your porno fantasy is actually just your GFs excuse to sleep with her friend, etc.
Like be careful with that stuff. It can seriously throw off the energy of a relationship even just suggesting it. And if you did it that’d change a bunch of stuff moving forwards.
Still… you’re young, maybe it is worth it just for the experience. I just worry there is more to lose here than you seem to appreciate.
Go for it man but keep it quiet, enjoy it.
I strongly suggest sitting down, fully clothed, and talking it out together before doing anything, so you are all on the same page. Don’t do anything spontaneously.
Uh, do you plan on marrying your current GF? If so, maybe avoid this.
She could claim she’s cool with it but in the act she could change her mind very quickly but be too embarrassed to speak up. Then you end up accidentally doing irreparable damage to your relationship.
If your current GF, her friend, and your buddy are all just college friends who will probably all split up after college anyways, go for it.
If your buddy is a good buddy and reliable, swear him to secrecy and let him know. It might be what he needs to truly get over that girl and be done with her, closure.
Also, carefully examine your GF. This could be a prelude for her sleeping with another guy or her way of easing her guilt of cheating on you.
If you ask me, maybe doing it with someone you know isn’t a good idea? You’re gf may end up jealous of her for whatever reason, maybe not before but after. Just my food for thought.. there’s too much attachment with these things when you personally know them.
If you’re having second thoughts, you should listen to your gut feeling and talk about it.
“Danger, Will Robinson!”
Emotional quicksand ahead.
I’d really look at what your life after this threesome would look like and if maybe an hour of fun is worth losing two relationships you have. One with a buddy if you have sex with his ex girlfriend, and one with your girlfriend because eventually she’s going to get weird about you being around her best friend now.
There’s two rules to threesomes: everyone has to be 100% on board, and the person you invite in should not be someone you already know and will see all the time
I would say no in case they got back together.
But also because I only want my wife. I couldn’t do it.
It’s really good of you to not only think with your d***.
World could use a lot more people like you.
But I’ll have to say this. If the break up wasn’t bad and they are still amicable that might change after that 3 some. Or even when you would tell your friend what has been proposed. It’s easy to say they are not together anymore but I’m guessing he would still care a bit, it’s fresh. Could see this as some kind of betrayal on your part though technically it’s not. But feelings don’t always follow technicalities.
Look if you don’t have a good feeling doing it then just don’t. Maybe just postpone and follow your gut feeling for now. Explain to the girls why, have a conversation. I’d hope they understand.
If you go through with it you could lose a good friend and I don’t think a night of fun is worth that.
But it’s your choice.
Yikes
This is definitely a lengthy conversation for you and your girlfriend, not you and reddit.
Have they done this before? Why now? What’s the dynamic exactly? Them together and you with your gf or you with both of them?
This could literally break your relationship and possibly theirs too if this is a new thing for them
I had a few in my youth. I’m old now. I must say that I have no regrets.
Pack toys, pleasure both, ensure a 2nd round
absolutely don’t proceed with it
As a woman my first thought is that this has very little to do with you, OP, and a lot to do with the women wanting to sleep together.
You are possibly just the means of keeping it guilt free. It’s very likely to turn out different than you’ve imagined.
If you’re going to feel guilty then don’t do it. That feeling of guilt won’t change. I’m not really a fan of threesomes because I don’t want to share my partner regardless if it’s another girl or not lol. I wouldn’t want anybody touching my gf but me
It’ll definitely be the end of your relationship with your gf and your friendship with the guy. Probably will have knock on effects on future relationships too. But hey you only live once, might as well right?
As someone who has had a lot of threesomes, they’re really not that great & it sounds like this one would make things awkward.
I wouldn’t do it. I’ve seen guys literally fight over this sort of thing. If you want to keep him as a friend, don’t do it. Good terms break up or not, and I doubt you know all the details, I really doubt he’d be cool with this.
They broke up, he has no business keeping up with her sex life.
If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. But don’t make it about someone else. She’s single now and you should respect this. Their relationship has ended. None of what they do is each other’s business.
Don’t. Listen to your gut
Like Blair Waldorf said… The third in a threesome should be a stranger not someone you’re close to
Choose someone else to do it with
You are way overthinking this. Go for it bro, friends come and go but this opportunity is a rarity.
You’re dating a weirdo who is desperate to jump in to bed with her best friend for some reason.
If you feel like having a sexual encounter involving your good friend’s ex is a boundary you can’t cross, then you should make that explicit.
Otherwise be safe, treat people with respect, and have fun.
Homie, I’m very sorry. I don’t ever see these situations end well. All I’m going to suggest is never do a threesome with your s.o. unless EVERYONE is fully into it. Also, these friendships with ex’s are universally a red flag.
Brother, you’re all young. You are unlikely, and hopefully not, going to marry this person. Just go for it. You’ll likely change friend circles entirely in a few years.
Don’t do it to the friend and what if she wants a devils threeway in the future?
You may be we get another chance and you’ll most likely not marry this girl. Have fun man. They are great
your 50 year old self will regret NOT having the 3-some, go for it!!!
You are 21. Do it and rejoice in the memory because you are almost certainly not going to be with either of the ladies when you are older. Be respectful, accept no as an answer, and enjoy yourself. Seriously not many people are with someone from that age, and no one on their death bed says they did the right thing by losing an opportunity.
How long have you been with your gf?
Not a big deal but turning it down and this relationship doesn’t last your going to be always thinking about the threesome you turned down.
There is a reason Reddit is littered with threesum horror stories. There are about a 100 things that can go wrong.
And honestly, you would be a huge AH in this instance. If you were my supposed friend and did this with a very recent ex, not only would I end our friendship, you better hope we dont run into each other.
And that your gf and her want a threesum with you in these circumstances raises a whole lot of other red flags to me.
3somes ruin most relationships. My ex told her friend she could screw me, I said ok cause I’m an idiot. My ex watched, then her friend got in the way emotionally of us, jealous of me being with my ex. She eventually caused so much turmoil, it split us up, which I guess was her friend’s goal all along.
Or do it, but be prepared you may be sacrificing your relationship for a an hr of fun with her friend.
Just ask if your gf has anyone else’s she’d be comfortable with cause you feel weird sleeping with your friends ex.
God dam it. I feel for you buddy. Bro Code.
Edit, don’t tell him, but don’t do it if you value his friendship
It’s not “every man’s dream”. Men feel pressured to say they want one because they think they’re supposed to be into them. It’s just another crappy societal pressure put on them.
You don’t have to have a threesome. You don’t have to pretend you want to have one. You’re absolutely right that this could make things weird with your friend if he finds out, not to mention the awkward relationship dynamics that could potentially come from the new girl. Why does she want a threesome? Why now? Is it to get revenge/hurt the ex? Is it because she has feelings for you or your girlfriend? This situation sounds absolutely messy.
You are 21. Do it. This is not your forever girlfriend. You will regret it.
Just keep it cool somehow always in the end , you end up being the bad guy and everybody puts the blame on you. Somehow someway, you’ll be responsible for two relationships ending, even though it was never your fault.
The possibility of dissapointing women at the same time is a dream…but id back off.