Hey guys, I’m coming on here to rant as I have in a previous post. I met this girl online and we hit it off straight away, had multiple dates within the first month to which she cried to me after date “4” saying “ how good I treat her and how she told her dad how nice I am too her”. She then went on a family holiday to New York to meet some of her American family around 6 weeks into us seeing eachother. She then went cold but still FaceTimed me regularly. She then told me about a past story of a DJ she slept with and I said I wasn’t comfortable with this and she FaceTimed me crying and we dealt with it and the same thing was said “how she wants to be with me”. She was still distant on this.
When she came home she cried to me again and said the same thing how she was nervous about me not wanting to see her again etc, but we settled that and she stayed the night.
Things were going ok but then she invited me on a family holiday to which her ex would FaceTime her and I called her out and she started crying again. On other occasions she would point out that other men would be eyeing her up, even if we were in a Queue for food (to which it is their job to look at people). I set my boundaries and set I’m not comfortable with this and the tears started again.
Anyways the reason this is being written is that my ex FaceTimed me 4 days ago and told me she slept with someone in New York (her family holiday) and it was her American cousin. It’s really fucked with my mind because she was addament we weren’t together but that she felt “guilty” and had to tell me, I broke down and am still recovering as I feel blindsided. We both agreed we weren’t seeing other people but I feel sick to my stomach as she used to talk about him and Snapchat him Infront of me. She showed no remorse on the FaceTime and defended her position but then proceeded to block me on everything without an apology.
I’m not sure what to do with myself, I began counselling 2 days ago, but I feel sick and disgusted that she would tell me these things, call me regularly and then sleep with me the same day she came back from the trip.
We’ve since broken up but it’s a fucked up situation minus the cousin part.
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
She told you that so you would feel exactly how you do right now
That was the whole point: to torture you
What kind of sick freak would lie about sexing up their cousin just to hurt their ex?
A real shitpiece, that’s who
She sounds like she was wacky from the outset. If anything learn to tune your radar better. This is not a reflection on you. She slept with her cousin for god’s sake. You should be grateful she’s out of your life.
Its only been 7 months bro, cut your losses
You move on, with therapy.
And you be thankful you got away from this woman now. She has serious, serious issues.
That young woman is bad news. She has issues, including being a master manipulator (the crying helped her get her way and made her victim, even though she was causing the problems). Just block and be done with that nightmare.
She want to date you because
“how good I treat her and how she told her dad how nice I am too her”
She has not reciprocated by treating you the same way. She wasn’t able to go 6 weeks without cheating on you, which is a good reason to breakup with her. The fact that she slept with her cousin would be a good reason to block her, because she may reach out and hope that you will forgive her (and she would not have slept with him unless she though it was OK).
This is SPARTA!
Block and move on
My brother in whoever you believe in:
Do you want to be with a woman where anytime she says something that hurts you she starts bawling to cut off actual conversation and resolution?
Do you want to be with a woman who brings up how other men look at her and constantly disregards your boundaries?
Do you want a woman who FUCKS HER OWN COUSIN?
And most of all: Do you really want to let distress take you over for a cousinfucker? It’s okay that it hurts, 100% normal. But please try to take an outside perspective. I am sure you’d never let a dear friend of yours tear himself apart for some incestuous crotch-hopper. So treat yourself like a dear friend.
I’m glad you two broke up. This was never going to have a happy ending.
This is more than a bullet you dodged, she’s a nuclear sized disaster.
Why fo you even care? You dodged a major bullet. SHE F&CKED HER COUSIN, MAN! IF THERE IS A WOMAN TO GET OVER, IT IS ABSOLUTELY HER!!!
Listen, I want to congratulate you on dodging a major bullet. That woman. Was a $hit show from the start.
DON’T! EVER! LOOK! BACK!!!
‘We’ve since broken up but it’s a fucked up situation minus the cousin part’
Instantly my new flair
Don’t, find someone new
What do you mean? Minus the cousin part? Shouldn’t that make it worse
Tldr. Are you still together. If yes. Fix that.
Then proceed to date dont wait.
Cause fuck her
You heal by breaking up for real which means no contact.
Block her. Make sure there’s no way for her to contact you in the future. Continue therapy and hopefully you will realize that very few people are looking to get it on with a family member.