Hi all – need some advice from non biased people,
Been with my girlfriend since 18 years old and we’re now 27, built a life together no kids but have pets a house and have grown together. Occasionally she’ll make remarks that I’ll shut down it’s very rare and something normally along the lines of “there’s far to many of them” or “should go back to there own country” this is in regards mainly to the Indian community in the U.K. for context we’re both white British. But Sunday just gone really affected me. We were in a pub having a drink next to a dock, when the bar man told me it looks like someone jumped in. So I stood up to have a look and saw 3 kids drowning – I ran out the fire door and found it was actually 3 kids ranging from I’d say 4-13 years old and a mother, the children have fell in and she jumped into help but underestimated the water now they we’re all drowning. I managed to pull two of the children out and the mother and last child were pulled out by other people. After calling an ambulance for them I go back inside and find that I’m a little shell shocked just a little shaky probably the adrenaline. But my partner never even batted an eye lid and she said “I don’t get why everyone is worked up about them” and that she didn’t really care if they did drown” this is because the family was Indian. And I just couldn’t believe what I heard . That the person I’ve loved for so long could be so vile, despite whatever nasty beliefs a person could have I still don’t think you could ever not care about a child drowning. We immediately went home and I bought this up to her how stunned I am about her lack of compassion to which she did then show remorse saying “I don’t want to feel like this and have this hatred in my heart but they’ve made me like this” and after a very long debate and now a day or two has passed I just don’t know how to carry on…this is a strange thing to say but every time I’ve looked at her since I’m disgusted by her. I just don’t know what to do, or the best course of action?
Comments
That goes way beyond racism that’s a fundamental lack of humanity
Is this the person you want to spend the rest of you life with? Do you want to sleep beside a person who holds hatred in their heart? If your feelings for her over ride that, then there you go
I thought you meant casual, joking racism. She lacks total empathy, gawdamn. Such a long relationship, but only I’d say a third of your life has passed so far. Do you want to live the rest of your life with someone like that? Only you can answer that.
That’s heartbreaking. Nine years or not, racism that deep…especially towards children in danger is hard to unsee. You’re right to feel shaken.
If this actually happened as you described then leave.
‘They’ haven’t done anything to her. She’s a piece of shit and any excuses are invalid.
Damn, bro… I feel you. My ex was a racist, too…
leave her
That’s absolutely horrifying; her reaction was beyond vile and completely unacceptable.